I’ve been a sugar baby for nearly a year now, but I really just want to switch from sugaring to escorting. I’ve used SeekingArrangement to meet clients but this will no longer work for me as they have a very strict anti-escort policy. Do you know of any real sites I could use, and do you have any advice for a new girl starting out?
Sugaring, as you have obviously figured out, is just underpaid escorting. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to find decent long-term patrons on Seeking Arrangement and other such platforms; I have an ad there myself, as do several of my friends, because their “no escorts” policy is a laughable smoke screen designed to hide the fact that sugaring is a form of sex work. Brandon Wade, the owner of Seeking Arrangement, is pissing himself so thoroughly over the possibility that he could be attacked with anti-whore laws like FOSTA that he not only makes videos filled with asinine whorearchical bullshit, but also employs full-time propaganda writers to convince sugar babies that they’re not whores, because if they understood that they were they wouldn’t sell their time so cheaply. The engine which drives sugar sites has two pistons: men who want to pretend they aren’t paying for sex, and women who want to pretend they aren’t whores. So the problem with SA and similar sites for sensible women like you and me is that first piston: some dudes are so terrified of admitting they pay for sex that they don’t want to give their dates anything useful, like cash; they just want to buy designer bags and shoes and take you on pricey vacations (that aren’t worth nearly the time you need to spend with the sugar daddy). As you’ve discovered, escorting is more honest, more lucrative and much less time-intensive, and therefore a better choice. I’m afraid the options for advertising are more limited than they were last year; many sites have self-censored for fear of FOSTA, and Backpage was raided and shut down by the government using astonishingly sleazy tactics. But there are still Eros, Slixa, Escort-ads and many local escort boards (many of which are free). The easiest way to find the ones in your area is to do a Google search for “escorts + [your city]” and see what comes up; that’ll also show you what most escorts in your area charge. As for advice, I recommend you visit my “mentoring” tag and read everything in it, then join Twitter and Switter and follow me and as many other sex workers as you can find. That won’t exactly give you a textbook, but it’s a good start.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Why on earth does no-one set up a site registered in (say) iceland?
You mean like through this company?
Hi Maggie; I was wondering if you’re interested in doing an interview for my blog network The Body House at: http://www.thebodyhouse.biz I’ve come across your site many times over the last several years and I’m always impressed with what you have to say about the business of sex and the dynamics surrounding it. My audience is mostly men. I focus on helping men understand women better. Since most men have paid for an erotic service at least once and have almost certainly watched some porn, I would love to get your view on what men should understand about female sex workers and women in general. (In my view, how a man treats sex workers is indicative of how he feels about women in general). Also, if you wanted to share your views on the FOSTA-SESTA law I would be happy to hear that too.
If you would be willing, I’d love to have a recorded phone interview with you at your convenience. We can set something up on the weekend if that suits you and adjust for any time zone difference. I’m in the NYC area. I hope we can connect. If not, keep up the great work and all the best to you. Thank you, Dyann 347-602-3136