Last year, my husband had a drunk night out and called several prostitutes, but claims that no actual sex ever occurred. I have all of the numbers he called. Is there any way I could approach these women and ask whether one of them saw my husband that night? I feel like I’m fairly open minded, but in my book, sex outside of a marriage is cheating, period, and I just need to know. Is this a foolish endeavor?
Well, it’s a futile one. It is extremely unlikely that any of the ladies will answer that question; our professional ethics forbid it. More than anything else, what a man is paying for when he sees a professional is discretion; if it got around that a sex worker had betrayed one of her clients to his wife (or anyone else), word would quickly get around and her reputation would be sunk. There is a small chance someone might slip and give you info that she absolutely shouldn’t, but the chance is vanishingly small; you’d probably have similar luck calling a clinic to ask if your husband had been treated there. Even if he really did see a pro that night, please understand that it has absolutely no bearing on his feelings for you; men sometimes just think with the wrong head, and it’s our job to minimize the harm that can come from that. And if it continues to bug you, you might consider talking to a wise friend or counsellor so as to let off the stress before it ends up hurting your marriage over something that may not even really have happened.