Mortal eyes cannot distinguish the saint from the heretic. – G. B. Shaw
Today is the feast day of Saint Nicholas, patron saint of whores. Yes, you read that correctly; the Christian saint most closely associated with Christmas (especially in his modern guise of Santa Claus) also has a special devotion to sex workers, which is why I devote a column to him every year on this day; he also appears in two of my fictional interludes, “Christmas Belle” and “Visions of Sugarplums”. If you don’t understand why St. Nicholas (rather than St. Mary Magdalene) is our patron, you might wish to read my very first column for the occasion, from four years ago today:
According to the story, a formerly wealthy man who had fallen on bad times had three daughters, but could not afford dowries for them. Because of this they would not be able to marry, and in the absence of other marketable skills would be forced into prostitution to support themselves. But on the night before the eldest daughter came of age, Saint Nicholas threw a purse full of gold coins through the window so she would have a dowry. He repeated the gift a year later on the night before the second daughter came of age, and the third year the father decided to lie in wait so as to thank his daughters’ unknown benefactor. But Saint Nicholas wished to remain anonymous, so he climbed upon the roof and dropped the bag down the chimney instead…
Note that the story linking him with harlotry (actually with its avoidance, but one can’t have everything) is also the one which gave rise to the legend about his coming down chimneys; that article also explains the origins of a number of his other droll traits. Last year’s column explains how whores even have a patron saint despite being “sinners”, and the year before that I looked at how his image is “pimped” to promote highly objectionable causes. I don’t mean commercial products, by the way; this busy saint is also the patron of merchants, so I hardly think he’d object to his image being used to hawk Coca-Cola. No, what I mean is that one of the most beloved symbols in the world, practically the image of loving generosity, has been used for decades by hatemongers to support their campaigns against one of the groups that Santa loves best; I’m referring, of course, to the vile Salvation Army, which helped invent the myth of “sex trafficking” in the late 19th century and is still heavily involved in pushing it today. I don’t know if any of the money put into their kettles goes to support their hate campaigns, but it stands to reason that if they had less funding they might not be able to afford to do things like running re-education camps in which captured sex workers can be imprisoned by the Manitoba provincial authorities. And lest you think sex workers are the only sexual minority targeted by these dangerous fanatics, consider that their official policy is that gay men and lesbians “deserve death”, and that death by hypothermia is preferable to “sexual violation”:
When it comes to helping families in need, the Salvation Army turns a cold shoulder to…teenage boys. A family in Johnson City, TN, found this out recently when, on a freezing cold night, they asked the organization for shelter. But because their family of five contained a 15-year-old boy, they were turned down… the dad, Tim Lejeune, explained: “They said he’s too old to stay on the women’s side, because of the women running around in their pajamas and they said he’s too young to stay on the men’s side in case some pervert wants to do whatever”…So instead the family headed to their car. The temperature: 18 degrees [Fahrenheit (-8o C)]…local police officers…brought them to the Johnson Inn…the night clerk…comped the room…after that, the Salvation Army did take the family in—minus the teen boy…[who’s] now in a mental health facility…[after having] a breakdown…because he thought it was his fault the family was turned away from shelter…
Please don’t give money to these sex-hating bigots; there are plenty of worthwhile charities, including my favorite Toys for Tots. If you just can’t pass by one of their bell-ringers without depositing something in their kettles, I suggest you print out the protest slip below and give them that instead. I have no real hope that they’ll ever see the error of their ways, but those who misuse the image of jolly old Saint Nick to collect money which helps them to hurt those he favors, certainly deserves as much coal in their stockings as we can give.
I heard about this. If these idiots are so worried that he’ll be diddled in the male side of the camp (neofeminist thinking) why do they leave him out to freeze when it’s much more likely for someone to harm him? How on earth do they think that helping him is leaving him to be deep frozen to death like Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining’?
Ah, reason. I do not think that is an art they have mastered. In fact, most religion suppresses reason to some degree, as otherwise it tends to not be very successful. (Isn’t it ironic that religions are subject to Evolution ? 😉
Given the proliferation of religions in a competitive environment, their ability to self-replicate, their preservation and transmission of survival data in the form of scriptural memes and their rather high failure rate it would be very odd if they weren’t subject to evolution.
I’d suggest you hit the nail on the head when you pointed out that reason isn’t selected for as it’s not a useful survival trait for religions. Whether it is for primates remains to be seen.
There’s loads more problems with the Salvos than that.
I could list personal issues my family has with them going back generations or their central and ongoing role in The Stolen Generations or the particularly abusive nature of their children’s homes or their vigorous obstruction of drug law reform (they also opposed legalisation of homosexuality here) but maybe the most contemptible is the way they work with juvenile justice policing in NSW.
Under NSW laws a minor can’t be interrogated by cops without an ‘independent’ adult present. Salvo officers qualify as such and are the most frequently called upon volunteers for the service. They organise rosters to ensure a male and female pair of Salvo officers will be available whenever the cops need them.
Over and over again I’ve heard from juvenile detainees that the cops would give some kind of signal for the Salvos to leave the room (e.g. “I think it’s time for a tea-break. Maybe you could put the kettle on.”) then get very intimidating – sometimes violent – with the kid while they were away. It would probably have been obvious to the Salvos what had been going on but nonetheless they filled out all the paperwork as if nothing untoward had happened. One pair of Salvos were notorious for helping the cops by suggesting they might “pop out for a moment” when the kid was less than co-operative with his answers.
Whenever I get waylaid by a Red Shield appellant I always complement them on their civic consciousness and their desire to help the disadvantaged then try to explain why those virtues would be much better expressed in an organisation other than the Salvation Army and why they are one of the few charities I would never donate to.
P.S. I’d always wondered whose eye that was on the Great Seal. I didn’t even know you were in The Illuminati Maggie.
Well, I’m in the Pimp Lobby; it’s pretty much the same thing. And I’m also a Reptilian, don’t you know.
(a) Snakes are cool (or, rather, lukewarm depending on ambient temperature) and (b) that photo is, um, very cool. 😉
It’s a perennial reader favorite. 😉
It is fascinating how those that think they are the most virtuous perform the most heinous and evil acts because they have lost all connection to reality…
I try to imagine how Coca Cola and the Salvation Army would react to this depiction of Santa Claus… He’s not only selling railway tickets.
In the press: how quickly will this guy get retired?
Chief constable warns against ‘drift towards police state’ — Greater Manchester’s Sir Peter Fahy says it is not the police’s job to define what counts as extremism
Footnote: The Salvation Army’s vileness with regard to sex work and sex workers depends clearly on the individual members of the Christian message.
In the Netherlands the most famous officer is undoubtedly Alida Bosshardt (1913-2007), a woman who became nationwide known, respected and loved as Majoor Bosshardt.
From 1948 until her retirement in 1978 her territory was the Amsterdam Red Light District where she and her colleagues worked not against but to the benefit of sex workers, their families, and others in the sex world. I have no doubt that Major Bosshardt was driven by her faith but she and her brigade were all but what we now call ‘rescue agents.’
In 1948 she organized her first Christmas party with the whores.
In the Sixties when I lived in the Red Light District, this party in the Salvation Army’s Goodwill Center, founded by Major Bosshardt in the heart of the RLD, was the neighborhood’s annual social gathering. Whores, cops, neighbors and everybody else would show up with presents and little tokens for the Major and her colleagues. There was a large tree, food and drinks. The Major, blessed with a great sense of dry wit and humor, would say a few words that made us roar, and then wish everyone, as she always did, a good life, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, without mentioning Jesus once. For hours everyone had a good time.
In those years I didn’t know a sex worker who didn’t respect and like her and her colleagues. Their humanity and down-to-earth charisma were proverbial. It was as if the Major had forbidden her colleagues to proselytize. Their Christian message was solely but clearly enough expressed in their uniform.
In 1962 a book about her quoted her saying: “Should I dare to fancy myself fighting prostitution? Absolutely not! I try to reach out to these women so often that the moment they should want to take my helping hand they can take it. We accept these girls and women as they are, in their situation. After all, I could have been one of them.” (in: Lea Wijnberg, Majoor A.M. Bosshardt, 1962. p.35)
In 1965 she was caught by a photographer as she accompanied the disguised Princess Beatrix, the future Queen, on a stroll through the Red Light District where Beatrix met and chatted with sex workers.
By popular vote, Alida Bosshardt was in 2009 posthumously named The Greatest Amsterdam Citizen Ever.
I think she was an exemplary Christian human being, representing Christianity and the Salvation Army’s stated original goals as it should be: kind, considerate, and without prejudice. And I don’t think she was an exception in the Salvation Army which in the Netherlands is, as far as I know, respected for helping with an open mind and respect those who seek the kind of help it offers. As far as I know it is not known for anti-prostitution actions or policies, and therefore a far cry from the current villainous, discriminatory, disrespectful (im)moral anti-prostitution policies and actions of our municipal and national government.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alida_Bosshardt
Never would have guessed Salvation Army shelters are such lingerie shows
Long, long ago a sort of relationship with a girl failed in part because her parents were deeply into the Sally Ann, and I feared she was also infected. She was intelligent and utterly gorgeous, but…(She wasn’t, but that came later.)
Meanwhile, I shall donate to ‘Abortion Support Network’, a small charity that helps (financially and socially) girls in Ireland to get abortions in England and elsewhere; and to the ‘Trussell Trust’, who provide food banks for the needy in the UK. Neither of these charities ought to exist in a civilised society.
Happy Sinterklaas Day, Maggie!
I looked up St Nicholas on Wikipedia last night, and there was no mention of prostitutes anywhere in the article. There was a very long list of the various occupations and such for which he is the Patron, but whores were conspicuously absent.
It’d been a long time since I’d previously read the article, but I was sure they were mentioned in the past. I suppose some sociopath had done some editing.
The story is in the second paragraph of the section, Legends and Folklore:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas#Legends_and_folklore
This page — http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/REALNICK.htm — seems to have a translated excerpt from the earliest written account of the daughters that has survived. The episode is a long way down, perhaps 2/3 down, into the page. The account was written down in the early 900s. (See http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/symeon-the-metaphrast/ )
On both pages, I suggest you shorten your search by searching for the word “dowry.”
On the “chimney” for the last daughter — The wikipedia article says that this is one of several variants of the story. That “early written account” does not refer to a chimney. According to several web pages, chimneys were first seen in dwellings in the 1100s.
Mind you, those pages focus on Europe, and north/western Europe at that. Many innovations arrived late in those barbarous lands! I have not found any accounts of the history of residential chimneys in Asia Minor. One who commented on the St Nicholas story said that the “chimney” version may have been added by a story teller in more northern, colder, climes.
Well, Maggie, if whores had a patron saint, what did they pray to St. Nicholas for? For job safety? For good clients? Or didn’t they feel they could pray for anything besides eventually becoming a wife?
I was raised Catholic, but it was in the modern church, so this stumps me.
Perhaps, for generous and caring patrons?
Wow I didn’t know that. For me Saint Nick was just a children’s figure, before I read this article. Today I got candies from Saint Nick, by the way :p