It is easier to judge the mind of a man by his questions rather than his answers. — Pierre-Marc-Gaston, Duc de Lévis
Got a question? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll do my best to answer it!
How do I let my regular escort know that I truly value and appreciate her personality without coming off as creepy or patronizing? I don’t want to send her mixed signals, but I do want to show her that it’s her brain and her heart that keep me one of her regulars and not just her vagina.
Just tell her. Don’t make a big deal about it, but the next time you’re having a conversation with her while on a date, just say something like, “See, this is why I like you so much!” She’ll understand. Another good way is to find out if she has an Amazon wishlist or the like, and get her a present that leans in the direction of mind & personality; for example, if she has both a bottle of perfume and a book on science or politics there, get her the book. That will say “I appreciate your mind” as loudly as anything.
I’m a recent university graduate in Malaysia and can’t bring myself to apply for a normal 9 to 5; I’m simply not that interested in the profession I was educated for. Now I find myself toying with the idea of becoming a harlot; how would I go about setting myself up in this business? How much can a freelance prostitute make? I know there are some inherent risks and dangers that come with the job, but I can only assume the higher end of the spectrum not only pays more, but is also somewhat safer, am I too naive to believe this? What is the long term prospect for a girl like me? And how do I keep my working life completely out of any circle that I, my family or my friends move in?
If you were in a Western country I could speak more authoritatively, but the best I can do for Malaysia is to give you a general answer. According to my reference prostitution is legal there as long as you don’t solicit in public; however, the United States has been encouraging your government to violently persecute sex workers, so it’s impossible to tell how that might impact your work in the near future.
That having been said, I suspect some things will still be the same; escorts advertise via websites nearly everywhere in the world, and always make far more than other entry-level jobs (usually as much as early-career lawyers if they work full-time and are good at it). You’re not naïve in thinking higher-end sex work is safer; every methodologically sound study ever done shows it, and simple reason will demonstrate why it is so (better class of clients, less exposure, relative invisibility to police, etc). Long term prospects are like those in any job: if you are good at the work and apply yourself, making sound and sensible business decisions, you will tend to do well unless some unpredictable circumstances intervene. As for keeping your personal and professional lives separate, that depends on careful planning. Maintain a high level of privacy with your family, and don’t allow them to “drop in” on you without prior contact; don’t see clients any place family members are likely to go, and don’t give enough details in your professional life (including pictures showing your face) to allow anyone to connect your two personas.
I have two suggestions for your next step: Get Amanda Brooks’ Internet Escort’s Handbook, which will help you decide whether the work is really right for you. Also, do some research on local escort websites; see what the other girls are saying, how they advertise, what they charge, what their concerns are, etc. After you do those things I think you’ll be in a position to make an informed decision. Either way, good luck with whatever career you decide to pursue!
I was wondering if you have any advice (or columns) for an aspiring plus size courtesan? I’ve done some escort work before (when I was thinner) and though I’m trying to work towards losing weight I’d like to start working sooner rather than later if possible.
I’ve never been in that group, but I know it’s not really an issue; there are a lot of guys interested in BBW escorts! The important thing is to clearly advertise yourself that way, and make sure your pictures are current and accurate so no nasty men can play games by claiming you misrepresented yourself. I believe that there are some BBW-specific sites, but I’ve seen them on general escort sites as well.
In your experience, are tall men more endowed than those of average height?
There’s no correlation at all between height and penis size. In fact, one reason porn stars often look so huge is that a short actor’s penis looks bigger in proportion to his body than that of a taller man with the same endowment.
Do you have any resources about pleasing men? I think Western women don’t go further than your typical Cosmo article on 134 ways to please your man, which I would assume is different from the way girls in Southeast Asia do it; the best description I found was that they “treat them like kings.” So what is the difference?
Pleasing a man doesn’t require tricks, tips or a manual; all it takes is paying attention and a true desire to please. Nine men out of ten will TELL you exactly what they want, but a lot of Western women react to such suggestions with, “Ick, that’s nasty; I’m going to try this ridiculous Cosmo suggestion instead.” WTF? Here they have men telling them exactly what will turn them on, and they shun it in favor of ridiculous antics that, if they really worked, would appear in every porno movie. I wrote about this in my early column “A Whore in the Bedroom”; what it basically boils down to is, concentrate on what turns him on even if it does nothing for you, and even if you think it’s ridiculous or disgusting or “degrading”. That’s the real “secret” of both the stereotypical Asian girl and the successful whore: she will say “yes” when the typical Western woman will say “no”. And considering that women are much more sexually flexible than men are, a woman often finds herself turned on by something she never cared for before, precisely because it excites the man she loves.
My boyfriend suffers from erectile dysfunction – the erections don’t last long and when he has to put his penis into me, it just goes soft; I wear sexy underwear and had Brazilian waxing done, but nothing seems to help. He is 36, in generally bad shape, has circulatory problems and his diet is based on pizza and Coke. I try to persuade him to walk more or ride the bike, and to change his unhealthy habits, but is there anything else I can do?
I suspect his circulation problem is the major culprit, but his poor physical condition and diet probably don’t help, either. Also, the Coke may very well have a lot to do with it: in the United States, soft drinks are sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, which (in addition to its many other bad effects) raises uric acid levels; this stiffens arteries, thus raising blood pressure, impairing circulation and discouraging the body from producing nitric oxide, the chemical which triggers erection. I don’t know if soft drinks in Europe are made with this thoroughly nasty stuff, but if I were you I’d read the ingredients on a can to see.
If his soft drinks do contain HFCS, he needs to switch immediately to some other beverage that doesn’t such as coffee, tea, flavored water, etc. Even if the soft drinks are sweetened with sugar, cutting them out would certainly help him lose weight because sodas add calories without making one feel full. Keep working on getting him to exercise; your doing it with him should make the prospect more attractive, especially if it’s something fun like bike riding or swimming. He should also talk to his physician, and if the doctor just tries to “patch” the issue by giving him Viagra, you need to speak up: in a 72-year-old man erectile difficulty is to be expected, but in a 36-year-old it’s a sign of major problems which will almost certainly lead to other health issues and should therefore not be ignored.
Getting a man to change his habits isn’t easy, but I’m sure he’d love to have stronger, more dependable erections again so that’s a factor in your favor. Once things start to improve, you can also encourage him to keep it up by demonstrating in a practical way how happy you are with the results. Good luck, and please let me know how things turn out!