I have no respect for the passion for equality, which seems to me merely idealizing envy. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr
Among the few facts about sex work that everyone agrees upon is that there is a “whorearchy”, a sort of class system among sex workers. Now, nobody agrees on anything about that system, only that it exists. Many strippers, dominatrices, porn actresses, etc insist not only that they aren’t whores, but that they’re better than we are; those whose professions have separated enough from ours that they aren’t even considered sex workers any more (such as actresses and especially masseuses) can be very pompous about it. Prostitutes, on the other hand, sometimes see themselves as better, smarter, more discreet, etc than strippers or porn starlets; sugar babies and other halfway whores deny that they’re sex workers at all; and some unusually self-deluded escorts will even try to draw imaginary lines separating themselves from other hookers. “Authorities” in criminalization and legalization regimes devote great effort to erecting arbitrary barriers between “tolerable” and “intolerable” varieties of harlotry, and sometimes to cementing the strata in place; cops and prosecutors delight in tricking “legal” sex workers into breaking their ridiculous rules (or falsely claiming that they did) in order to have an excuse for victimizing them; and sex worker advocates expend considerable efforts in hand-wringing and lamentation over “classism”.
To a degree, these activists are right; a whore is a whore is a whore, and legal, moral or procedural lines serve only to break people into smaller groups which are more easily dominated by the power-hungry. If you accept money from someone that he gives due to sexual interest in you, then you are a whore and everything else is just semantics. When politicians, pundits or rulers use some arbitrary determinant like penetration, duration, location or motivation to bless some harlots while damning others, what they’re actually doing is reducing the size of the group who might oppose them and winning supporters from among those granted legitimacy. This is why I’m harshly unsympathetic to those who vehemently maintain that their species of sex work or sensual therapy is absolutely not prostitution: all they’re doing is throwing other women under the bus, and if we had all stuck together from the beginning of second-wave feminism half a century ago, prostitution would’ve been decriminalized long ago and many women who are now dead or damaged might still be alive and healthy.
At the same time, it’s madness to pretend that at the present level of human evolution there can ever be such a thing as a classless society. Human beings, like other social animals, naturally form cliques, packs and tribes, and such groups inevitably develop hierarchies. Some people are natural leaders and others natural followers, even outside of a formal structure; the Founding Fathers intended the US to be classless, but look what’s happened to it. Nor are Marxists and Occupiers correct in their insistence that it’s always the rich who control everything; at our present stage of history money is indeed the single most powerful force, but it hasn’t always been that way and won’t always be in the future. And those who rail about “the 1%” forget that there are lots of ways to get into that fraction: birth, popularity, talent, intelligence, ambition, luck, sex appeal, and even plain animal cunning are all paths to riches and power, so pretending that there is still some elite caste inevitably born to the purple is disingenuous in the extreme. Even those who are uninterested in influence over others sometimes find themselves in a position of leadership or control; some people have superior organizational skills, determination or intelligence which allows them to build infrastructures in which others freely choose to participate in exchange for money or whatever other return the organizer needs. Such a person suddenly finds himself a manager or director of a company, co-op or club whom others turn to for guidance, even though his only motivation at the start was to make things easier, better or more comfortable for himself and his immediate dependents.
This is why I tend to tune out when sex worker activists start blathering about “privilege” as though it were some specific quality like height, skin color, IQ or income. There is no single quality in the modern world which confers “privilege” as birth once could, not even money or education. I’m not denying that some people are underprivileged and others start out with greater advantages, but this is inevitable in a world where everyone is different; even in a hypothetical post-scarcity economy of the future where teaching machines gave everyone a university degree at the age of five, there would still be a plethora of areas in which some had advantages over others. Furthermore, early advantages no more ensure success than early disadvantages guarantee failure, and in fact a growing number of psychologists point out that too much privilege often makes a child (and the adult he becomes) fragile, maladjusted and less likely to succeed than one who has to struggle to achieve his goals. It is as pointless to feel guilty about one’s natural advantages as it is to resent those with other advantages one lacks.
What it all boils down to is this: people are drawn to different kinds of work and have different aptitudes and comfort levels. Some women like one kind of sex work, some another; some prefer doing lots of low-dollar calls and others a few high-dollar ones. Some fall into management roles without trying, while others avoid such roles at all costs. Many if not most sex workers drift or migrate from one kind of work to another, in and out of sex work or from one kind of sex work to another, as their circumstances and needs change; a woman who was safely “legal” yesterday may be “illegal” tomorrow. This is why it is absolutely imperative that we not allow outsiders to divide us by drawing lines in the sand and turning those on one side of the line against those on the other. We need to stop obsessing about the whorearchy and pretending it can or should be eradicated, but we also need to oppose those who wish to calcify it in order to employ it as a tool of control.
One Year Ago Today
“Clueless Wonders” introduces my readers to the vice cops of Syracuse, New York, who are so aggressively ignorant and unselfconsciously stupid that they actually boast about it.
It’s kind of strange that you embrace the “whore” label while so many others in your profession – across the spectrum that is – seem to have a problem with that label. It’s almost as if many are actually ashamed of what they are doing – and if that’s the case, maybe they shouldn’t be doing it.
Because, I really don’t see how an army of whores is going to change the legal status of prostitution when a good portion of them think what they are doing is wrong to begin with. You often compare this struggle to the one concerning gay rights but gay rights only started to be “won” when gays ran out of the closet beaming with pride.
It doesn’t sound like the whorearchy is ready to do that. And another thing – the capitalistic nature of the business tends to feed into an “every girl for herself” type mentality. Or so it would seem to me.
That’s exactly my point; by drawing their arbitrary lines the “authorities” set one kind of sex worker against another. In the US it’s porn stars and strippers vs. hookers, in Nevada it’s brothel whores vs. escorts, in some places it’s streetwalkers vs. “indoor workers”, etc. All of the distinctions are artificial, and only serve to break up dissent (divide and conquer).
As for your later statement, I disagree; other countries have whores’ unions. The difference is that in those places, just being a whore isn’t illegal, whereas in the US it is. I’m not entirely sure that a zealous prosecutor in New Orleans couldn’t still make life difficult for me for breaking their asinine laws six years ago.
Hi Maggie, I agree with your article on all notions, when it comes to the perceived superiority of some versus the others. What you are referring here are legal aspects of the marketing. An escort IS legally speaking serving different boundaries than someone who sells sex. Of course we all know that this is just semantics and escorts also have sex with their clients. (ja ja) but speaking in legal determinations she does not “sell sex”. That makes a different code of conduct, because it serves as legal protection agains the peruse of making selling sex illegal. AN escort sells time and can`t be legally sued for selling sex. So – again – legally speaking – those terms make sense for protection. Semantically speaking that an escort IS a whore and a whore is a whore as well, I agree with you. But for tax purposes I don`t
Say there Nina, have you witnessed in a court of law how someone defending her/his self in a prostitution case has successfully used the said legal definitions of an escort as you described to be acquitted of prostitution charges?
depends on the court and on the exact accusations. If it is about taxes, which it is most often, then yes – distinctions do matter. If this is in a country where prostitution is illegal and you get caught !! doing something illegal, then it is a different matter. I assume it all depends on how you get caught. I have heard of cases being dismissed for several reasons.
I don’t like the word “whore” but I think that’s a silly aversion to the sound of the word and the etymology of it. Kind of like how some folks don’t like the word “moist” though I rather enjoy it.
I’m not ruling out that it could be dislike for the connotations, but that will take further introspection.
yes …..By banning together…….freedom of choice , and persute of happyness
then we do much better.
Maggie, I just wondering if in countries where prostitution is legal or decriminalized if the sex workers in those countries have these class distinctions? Do strippers see themselves as being better than escorts there?
I can’t answer that one, but perhaps one of my sex worker readers in such a country can: Australia? New Zealand? Germany? Any opinion on this?
Oh for sure. I’ve even heard one high class call girl in Australia refer to other girls as “slutty” lol.
Status heirachies exist everywhere and in everything, nothing to do with criminalization.
On another point, I always laugh when I go to Australian hotels, because there is invariably an advert for massage service on the table, along with a warning about “sexual harassment”. At such times I ask myself why any man travelling alone would want to have just a back rub. Weird.
Yes, such hierarchies exist, at least in the brain of people. I am sick an tired of it. Most of the time it is escorts that have no clue of the business looking down on others. Because once you start to interact with others in the buz, you realize it is indeed all just semantics. In Europe the streetworkers are the ones , who are seen as lowest in the so called hierarchy of values, and the expensive prostitutes are the “highest”. Of course, as you say, the distinction is never easy, since transgressions are made, too. A luxury escort can as well work at different circumstances for lower rates doing incalls, and as well advertise as travel luxury companion. But, generally speaking, hierarchies are noticed. What strikes me specially is that many look down on streetworkers as the “lowest” and most unbearable form of escorting. It strikes me because many streetworkers do not even offer real sex, they “fake” it, specially in Germany. The more a client pays, the more easy it seems to get unsafe sex practices as well, speaking of bareback and similarly related issues (CIM, anal intercourse, etc. and other high risk behaviours). So, I wonder what is more important? Health or Stigma
. I sometimes shake my head in wonder…. (giggle)
Hello! I m from Germany where Sexwork became legalized in 2002, achieved under government of the coalition of the Social Democrats & the Greens, initiated by one single woman, a sexworker and brothel manager. Actually the new bill on prostitution under the conservative government is on its way and as far as I know together with new regulations. It seems to me like a roll back to older times or worse … One is new: penalisation of clients is also discussed. I m fighting against this on different levels, I m also speaking openly to the public, I m giving interviews. I m working incessantly building alliances and I try to influence media coverage that becomes influenced by conservative, christian fundamentalists and radical feminists. The current and progressive law is getting sandwiched from all sides. Of course together with false figures on trafficking, junk science; the same I mention in the U.K. and the U.S. The anti-prostitution campaign strategy is based on lies to fool the public.
I m blogging and writing with my escort-pseudonym in message boards for escorts and their clients since my start in the industry around 2004; to create awareness in sexworker related issues. I m discussing the foundation of a german sexworker union to effective lobbying since ages but the feedback was and still is quite low and also self-proclaimed sexwork activists discuss mostly reasons why not to move forward. I still act by myself as in former times, but I found more symbolic support by allies – clients, social workers who work in the field, and of course I m linked with many people from abroad. The reason why there is no initiative to build coalitions is caused by different motives. From my point of view Germany has historically a weak political culture and the interest and motivation to participate in societal issues is quite low (in contrast to France and the U.K., but also the history of civil right movement in the U.S.). Secondly the legalisation of prostitution was an achieved goal of the first whore generation and many sex workers think obviously there is no matter to fight for. Legalisation makes people lazier to fight for their rights. While criminalisation still exist sex workers become aware on that issue in moments of danger, violence, effects of stigma, social exclusion, a life in a lie and stay calm. Most sex workers are not connected to others while they discuss on message boards. Criminalisation in Germany means special regulations on the regional scale and local politics of the Länder prostitution is mostly forbidden in 90% in relation of the entire area of Germany. In larger towns and cities sexwork is still legal but varies because of existing restricted zones. I would also say that conservative governed states/Länder like Bavaria strictly ignore the current legislation on prostitution. And the third reason why building a sex worker coalition in Germany is so much difficult is because of competition, jealousy, eccentric and human weaknesses. I wrote a piece on “whorarchy” a while ago on my blog http://nuttenrepublik.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/the-good-sexworker/
Another interesting link to that issue I found on Furry Girls Blog feministn and I guess she is right http://www.feminisnt.com/2012/the-art-of-war-as-applied-to-sex-workers-rights-organizing/#comments
I love her reference to Sun Tzu, because fighting for our rights and effective lobbying needs a high level of skills in strategy-planning and creative strategic development. I would also recommend the teachings of ZEN.
Hi there, Ariane! We’ve still got a few years yet to weather this whole anti-sex hysteria, but in the long run the control freaks are bound to lose unless all of Western culture comes tumbling down (which could, of course, happen as it did once before). Please keep me posted on events in Germany, so I can keep my readers informed!
Maggie, yes I ll do that. And btw thanks for your courage, it also encourages me moving forward.
You’re very welcome. I’d be much braver if showing my face would not result in inevitable harm to people I love.
Of course I know and thats why so many cant turn up with their face. I was in the same dilemma and considered this long and hard, together with my loved ones who give me any sufficient backing. At the end my desperation and anger triumphed.
Dear Ariane, if you don’t mind my asking does your above comment (“together with my loved ones, etc.”) mean you’re fully “out” to everyone?
Hi Laura, yes but I avoid using my civil name to protect my privacy.
First because of stigma my parents were horrified, because I was taking up a different career that makes them not very proud. For good reasons I decided to stop my unhappy academic career and I practiced so called respected professions for a while with no or very low income. To become self-employed fitted perfecty to me I found out. Its a long story and different motives how I came to this idea to work as a whore and a vital issue in relationships and friendships. Over the years i.e. parents and sisters found their ways to deal with it, with my promise in mind to take good care of myself. My proactive approach and political commitment around human rights issues did not happen over night but has accompanied me since my childhood. Sex education has been always an issue in my life since my youth. In my sexworker life different interests come together. I have always believed in my different professions either I do a good job and every reason to be proud of or I won’t do it and leave. There are lots of sex workers out there who drop their masks to fight for their rights. A small group or some individuals is required to speak openly to the public and to enter constructive negotiations backed by a coalition of the silent majority of sex workers, allies and clients. Its not necessary to demand outings and forced outings should be avoided. In case of public activism you should know that not so many clients feel attracted to active sex workers but only a few who can manage different activities of the whole human package he he … because playful illusions and the projection surface of a callgirl disappears and usually don’t function together with stand up and feminism. Politics is unsexy even it is not playing a greater role during the concrete encounter.
First let me say I find your blog and its topics so refreshing. I read a lot of news (either because I’m use to it or I like it really don’t know anymore at this point) but it has become much to routine it’s good to break up the monotony of my day with your blog some days.
Now to piggy back off Krulac comments I must agree. In a world where people increasingly choose to define themselves by their labels/titles many whores seem to find themselve uncomfortable with theirs. Escort, Courtesan, Callgirl you can put whatever moniker on it you like however elegant or clever its all still the same whore occupation.
Another misrepresentation of the Occupy Movement. Of course the 1% isn’t a strictly hereditary class, and nobody claimed it was. It makes no difference if the exploiter has a trust fund or got his money by his talent and good looks. He still needs to go to jail and the system reformed. Of course not every rich person is responsible for the mess we are in, just those who had a hand in it. And not all rich people are criminals, and not all Occupiers are Marxists.
I totally agree that everyone who caused the mess needs to pay for it…including the politicians who forced banks to extend loans to people who couldn’t possibly pay them back, and those who voted to bail out businesses they deemed “too big to fail”. That’s not what I’m talking about here, though.
She’s spot on with the Occupier movement. I find they are useful idiots. They’re good at hassling the government and keeping big daddy busy tending to their idiotic demands – but they can’t articulate a single thing they want.
That will have to be done by others but I suppose that the “occupiers” will make good cannon fodder in the meantime.
So I’m not totally down on them.
A lot of critics of the Occupy movement keep pressing them to set out their “demands”, but from what I’ve seen and read, what they are pressing for is to bring about greater public awareness of the total corruption of the political and financial system and to encourage general opposition within the population.
Systemic change can never be as simple as “pass a law against X”, especially when the legal system itself is part of the problem.
The reason the Occupiers can’t articulate clear demands is because there aren’t any that they all agree on. The Occupy movement is just a loose agglomeration of people who are all angry about the current situation, but they all have wildly different ideas about the causes of the problems and the solutions (although some ideas are more popular than others). In this respect they are a lot like the Tea Party, which was never as monolithic or united in its views as the punditry seemed to believe.
I was at first disdainful of the Occupiers’ lack of a coherent platform, until I realized that a lot of the ’60s radicals didn’t have one either (in comparison to antiwar or civil rights protesters). But I eventually realized that doesn’t matter; their anger, their sheer numbers and their brutalization by police serve the vital function of calling a great deal of attention to problems the Occupiers themselves are unable to articulate, and that’s a good thing.
It would be a good thing if it were likely to get something helpful done about the problems. But it sounds to me more like we’re about to have another French or even Russian revolution. President Obama and his inner circle are certainly well-informed bad guys, but everyone else who is supporting the movement should read some history first.
“Revolution” was a pretty popular word in the 60s. Much more so than now. But here we still are.
Well, the Occupy movement has “raised my consciousness” in two ways — it made me see the necessity to be prepared to defend my home should the need arise; and it has seriously cooled down my enthusiasm for reining in police who beat or tase people when they shouldn’t, especially in situations similar to the Occupy gatherings. I would like not to need that sort of cops. But we do.
You approve of police who beat and tase people when they shouldn’t??
And what exactly have the Occupiers done that is so wrong that they need to be beaten and tased? I thought that the freedom of public protest was one of the cornerstones of US democracy and freedom. At least that’s what Americans are always telling everyone outside of the US.
As for defending your home, it is usually when there is no freedom to protest that you get violent revolution ala France, guillotines and all.
Yeah, the Occupiers are coming to invade your home. Because, you know, they don’t have anything else to do. {rolls eyes until sockets are sore}
I paid for sexual services for the first time only recently, so my research into the various types of services on offer is still fresh. In Minneapolis, there seems to be a growing number of “sensual massage” providers who do not offer genital touching. Coincidentally, due to some sexual issues I’m struggling with, that’s exactly what I was looking for.
Of the two service providers I’ve seen, I don’t think either of them looked down on what other people do, but they were doing what they did primarily because it was less illegal.
I enjoy your site Maggie. As a moderately passionate libertarian, I’m as irritated by the war on sex workers as I am by the war on drug users.
Reblogged this on Καιρός und kommentierte:
Please check out this post and my comments on here …
Yes, if you were born poor and are exceptionally lucky or exceptionally talented, you might enter the 1%. The same as a 125 lbs. woman who is exceptionally skilled or exceptionally lucky might beat up a 200 lbs. man.
I’m not going to look any more favorably on big men who beat up small women because, hey, being big male is no guarantee of winning that fight, and being small and female is no guarantee of losing it.
I don’t look favorably on anyone who uses superior power to subdue anyone weaker (physically, economically, intellectually etc) unless the weaker party is the aggressor…and in that case I still think the stronger party should do only as much “beating up” as necessary.
I can go with that. And if the big guy is the aggressor, I’ll cheer if the little guy kicks the big guy’s ass. I love a David v Goliath story as much as anybody. What makes it thrilling is that, ordinarily, Goliath wins.
I can’t buy lumping together all actions that fit that description. If you have a right (ownership of something, or whatever) in the first place, and the might to get it by bullying, then it’s not only right, it’s silly to refrain!
If you already own something, why would you need to engage in bullying or anything else to get it? You already have it. Now, you might have to get rough with somebody in order to keep it, but if the weaker guy is taking what’s yours, then the weaker guy is the aggressor, and you should (as Maggie put it) do only as much “beating up” as necessary.
all of life is about divide & conquer
Sorry I got in so late on this one.
I actually knew porn actresses who considered themselves much better than prostitutes, because as they saw it, they were paid not for sex, but for an erotic performance.
The way I saw it was this: in porn I was having sex with other people paid to have sex, and in prostitution I was having sex with people paying to have sex. Either way, I was being paid for sex.
Now sure, there are differences, As a whore you work a lot more, with much less talented people, and you still have to give them a good experience. In a lot of ways, it’s harder work.
But the fine distinctions of the whorearchy are endless. Sure, there’s the call girls are better than street walkers division, we’re all familiar with that. There’s also though, finer and finer divisions within segments. I had GFE girls look down on me for being PSE. I also met people who saw it the other way.
At the end of the day, you do what you’re capable of, and what you are comfortable with. And you be the judge.
[...] Whorearchy [...]
[...] time to time. This is partly for the sake of variety and partly as a way of undermining the “whorearchy”, the class system which exists among sex workers; though I take a more pragmatic view than [...]