It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question. – Eugene Ionesco
In today’s column I’ll answer a few more questions from my readers, starting with two more from the lady whose question closed yesterday’s column. If there’s anything you want to know but don’t feel comfortable putting into a post reply (or just can’t find an appropriate post to attach it to), send me an email (email@example.com) and I’ll answer it in my next mail column; if you really need a quicker response let me know and I’ll answer you directly. Unless directed otherwise, I will treat all questions as confidential and will not reveal the screen name of the asker.
Were you able to enjoy your sexual peak even though you worked in the sex industry, or did working mean you wanted less sex for you?
My questioner is referring to the fact that women hit our sexual peak about 35, which for me was while I was working. Obviously, I can only answer this one for myself; I’m sure some girls are “burned out” by sex work, whereas for others client sex and boyfriend sex are apples and oranges. My personal answer depends on what you mean by the word “want”. As I explained in my column of September 14th, my sexuality is almost entirely receptive; though I have no aversion to sex whatsoever, it’s pretty rare that I actually crave it. In other words, if nobody propositions me I just tend to cruise along, not really thinking about sex or wanting it, yet if someone I find attractive or interesting or nice or generous approaches me for sex I tend to get interested quite easily unless there’s some reason I shouldn’t (in which case I can resist just as easily). You might say my “on” switch isn’t hard to find; it just isn’t equipped with an automatic setting.
Personally, I love my sexuality and I can’t imagine being any other way. I would hate to have an aggressive sexuality which drove me to actually seek out sex, yet I would equally hate being frigid and unresponsive. And really, it’s a great way for a whore (or a wife) to be; the only times I can truly say I’m “not in the mood” are those in which I’m overwhelmed by some powerful physical condition such as illness or exhaustion. If my husband is interested or a client has the money and I’m not completely debilitated, I’m ready to go (or can be within a few minutes) even if I’ve already had five men that day. I suspect that my body advertises this extreme receptivity to men in some subtle way (such as by pheromones or body language), and that it is a large part of my sex appeal.
Did clients always want intercourse or did some just request blow jobs?
Clients want all sorts of different things. I’d say about 75% want “full service”, and most of the other 25% some alternate form of release such as a blow job, hand job, “Russian” (tit-fucking), etc. A small percentage prefer to do it themselves while the girl touches them, kisses them, talks dirty, plays with herself or otherwise provides stimulation; I described such a client on July 23rd. A few don’t even want that; fetish clients (such as I discussed on August 28th and September 16th and 17th just want their fantasies fulfilled and usually take care of themselves later. And a rare few don’t want any kind of sex at all, just companionship or advice or a shoulder to cry on.
Do men ever hire escorts to actually escort them somewhere?
Most definitely! As I discussed on August 15th and 31st girls get taken places all the time, and on some occasions (such as the gentleman who first took me to Galatoire’s, mentioned in the latter column) they didn’t even want sex afterward.
In your column on terminology you didn’t mention DATY; I know what that is, but what’s DATO?
You are correct, I did forget that one. As I said at the start of my column of September 7th it wasn’t intended to cover every conceivable term, but DATY is pretty elementary and I should have included it; mea culpa. For those who don’t know, “DATY” is an acronym for “Dining At The Y”, meaning cunnilingus. Though it resembles internet terms like BBBJ or GFE it actually dates back to the 1940s and may be of Australian origin. It of course refers to the fact that a woman with her legs spread is shaped like an inverted letter “Y”, combined with a joking reference to “Y” as slang for “YMCA”. DATO (“Dining At The O”) is formed by example of DATY, and refers to oral stimulation of the woman’s anus. The term is never used to mean a whore performing this on a client; the usual term for that is “Asian” unless it’s in conjunction with a blow job, in which case it becomes Around the World.
Why are most massage parlors run and staffed by Asians?
I’m not sure, but I expect it’s for the same reason that most nail parlors are owned by Vietnamese people and many hotels are owned and run by Indians. Asian people have very strong social networks and familial connections, so they employ family and friends and when those employees learn the business and make enough to go off on their own, they employ family and friends as well and soon a large number of similar businesses are owned by people of one particular ethnicity. And since cultures in the Far East tend to be much more pragmatic about sex than Western ones, many Asian people consider a massage parlor to be a business like any other (to the horror of bluenosed American officials).
What’s the strangest place you’ve ever had an appointment?
Regular readers may remember from my column of August 16th that I am not fond of sex in weird places, but when I wrote that I meant mostly dirty, cramped or non-private places; I don’t mind places that are just weird as long as I don’t have to lie on something hard or dirty or risk getting arrested. Most of the strange places I’ve seen clients have been in their places of business; lawyers in particular are famous for this. I’ve had appointments in a number of law offices (usually on or under desks or on couches) and twice that I can recall in law libraries (ironic, no?) I’ve also seen doctors in their offices, a minister in a multi-purpose room at his church, and a bar owner on one of his pool tables. But the most unusual one would probably have to be the captain’s stateroom on a large tow boat on the Mississippi River; his crew took up a collection and purchased my services for him as a birthday present. They were worried that no girl would agree to come out, but I couldn’t see any difference between a tow boat and any other place of business. The first mate met me at the wharf and helped me aboard, and he and the other crewmen I met were polite and respectful; the captain was a handsome, educated man and his cabin was as private and comfortable as any man’s bedroom (and far neater and cleaner than most).
What were your age limits for clients?
It’s not unusual for clients to ask if such-and-such age is “too old”; amazingly, the ones who ask this are usually in the prime age range for clients, their fifties! A fair number of clients are in their sixties, a few in their seventies and a very small number in their eighties; the oldest client whose age I can remember him stating was 86. I had no upper limit on client age; while it’s true that men over 70 are difficult to deal with, they’re certainly no worse than drunks and at least they appreciate the girl’s effort. I did, however, generally have a lower limit of 21, but made exceptions in special cases down to 18. Under no circumstances would I ever agree to see a boy below 18, nor would I allow any of my girls to do so, but guys so young rarely have the necessary funds anyway. Only twice in my career was I so uncertain of a boy’s age that I asked him to show me his driver’s license; the first such case actually had it ready (apparently his baby face had caused doubt in hookers before) and he was actually 23! In the second case I responded to a request for a woman in her 30s from a room at the five-star Windsor Court, only to be received by what looked to me like a teenage boy! As it turned out he was a 20-year-old skateboard champion in town for a competition, and the room had been arranged by his manager. But he was attracted to women old enough to be his mother (and I definitely was) and was amazingly mature for his age; he knew more about how to treat a lady than many clients who were a decade or more older.