Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘escort review sites’

Last week, a long-time client of Laura’s asked if I’d publish this tribute to her today, the day of her funeral.  And how could I not?  This text was approved by her daughter Cat prior to publication.

Today is the funeral of Laura Lee, “Ant” (Antoinette) to her friends, but I can’t be there celebrating her full but short life and grieving at her unexpected death.  Yes, I am one of those, a client, who has another life which made it impossible for me to attend.  I have no one to share my grief with, other than other sex workers, clients, allies and academics who knew Laura; they have been an immense help.  It has been a hard few days for me and I am sure I am not alone.  I have known Laura for twelve years, and online even longer than that.  She was a moderator on the forum call Punternet…yes, that so-called “patriarchal” review site so beloved by the antis had real life sex workers as moderators.  The first time I met Laura was in Edinburgh, and after our appointment she asked me back to accompany her on a midnight Edinburgh ghost walk tour.  I did, and that was the start of a long relationship.  Little did I know she was fascinated in ghosts, and only days before she left us she was staying in a haunted coach house.

During the next few years I would meet Laura wherever our paths crossed, often in Edinburgh or London, and once a coincidental meeting in Carlisle where we both happened to be working at the same time.  One year I took the plunge and invited her to come to Glastonbury music festival with me; I already had a ticket, but her ticket was a late booking on the Glastonbury ticket resale, and the only tickets available included coach transfer.  So, I drove there on Wednesday and set up camp; she arrived by coach the next day.  I met her on Thursday afternoon and we spent the rest of the day looking around and eventually making our way back to the small tent, soaking wet from the rain which had started.  We didn’t mind; we were together for the weekend.  There were no showers, and the loos at Glastonbury are diabolical stinking holes in a tank; wet wipes and cider become the currency of the festival.  The privacy in a small tent sited within a foot of other tents is virtually non-existent; three middle aged men nearby were discussing the moans of ecstasy they had heard during the night.  We would lie together listening to the requests for Ketamine and the inflation of balloons throughout the night.

She loved the Green Fields area and the Healing Fields, the Hippy area Laura called it, where there are various massages available, Yoga and Tarot card readings.  Having a wicked sense of humour, she went up to one young police officer and asked him about the laws on opening a massage tent and would it be alright if she supplied extra services.  The poor man flushed and stammered with embarrassment, eventually saying he would have to ask a superior.  Laura was supportive of all harm reduction initiatives and spent time talking with the helpers at a drug help tent.  Here they would advise people on safe drug use and they would spend the night and early hours touring the stone circle area handing out water and helping anyone in distress.  She was impressed by the care they gave.  The Green Fields area and especially the Peace Garden were a quiet safe space where one could sit and contemplate; it’s where we lay in the sun and I told her I loved her.  I felt so embarrassed after saying this, but no she said it was sweet and a lovely thing to have said.

Laura’s determination to come with me to Glastonbury was revealed next year, after she broke her ankle and damaged her knee in a fall in the bath tub a few weeks before the festival.  Her whole leg was placed in plaster all the way up to her crotch.  I was sure she would not come, but she did; luckily, we had upgraded to glamping and were sleeping in a bed, with showers and flush loos.  I was over the moon when she told me she hadn’t even contemplated not coming.  The only downside of the location of our yurt was the hill up to the campsite; pushing Laura up the wet grass in the wheel chair was punishing and very challenging work at the end of a long night.  But it was an amazing festival, and people were always ready whenever we needed help in the mud, or faced a steep hill.  We had hospitality tickets that year, so we celebrity spotted in the area between the Pyramid and Other stage; Laura was in her element being photographed with Paolo Nutini.

We managed five Glastonburys, two T in the parks, TRNSMT in Glasgow and even did the small Pilton party together last year.  From there Laura has a selfie of herself with Michael Eavis.  The great highlights of Glastonbury for her were Dolly Parton and Adele; she also valued her meeting with the Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell (a vocal supporter of sex workers rights who knew of Laura) at the Left Field stage.  Taking an out-sex worker with a public profile and those unmistakable long black curls to such a public event has its risks; she had appeared on many chat shows and on TV shows such as Sex on Wheels which featured disabled people’s sexual needs and had been aired several times.  Generally, the reaction to her was positive, with women coming up to be photographed with her.  One time after Glastonbury at Bristol airport she was hugged and thanked for all she was doing.  During that last festival she was spotted by another sex worker and ended up giving advice and help.  Of course there were downsides too, such as the Irish doctor at our glamping site who recognised Laura and started making loud audible snide comments.  Last year we spotted a woman who just kept glaring angrily at Laura without saying anything.  Thankfully the glamping area had grown large, so we didn’t have to see either of them again.  Laura would outwardly laugh these slights off, but I knew it hurt her and put a damper on the late evenings sitting around the brazier in Love Fields.

The Greenfields area of Glastonbury had a debating and lecture area, and this is where she met Ruby Wax giving a talk on mental health, which was a personal issue for Laura, though when I was with her I very rarely saw it.  She was so pleased to have the opportunity to speak with Ruby and get her autograph.  She worked hard promoting sex worker rights, even while we were enjoying ourselves at festivals; there were always emails or phone calls for help or for an interview, and she tried to fit these in when she could.  She took every opportunity to promote sex worker rights, to the extent of questioning those working on the Glasgow Sexual Health stand at the TRNSMT festival about their attitudes toward sex workers.

Outside of her work Laura tried to fit in speaking engagements, TV debates and protest marches where ever she could, along with actively working with different campaign groups and building relationships with the Belfast Reclaim the Night, feminist organisations and Repeal the 8th.  This often cost her money for hotels and travel, and importantly her time when she could have been working.  Campaigning is not cheap, with the costs increasing, and her earnings reduced, her stress levels increased with bills needing payment.  This spiral was having on effect on her health and made me very aware that allies must step up and help by donating money unconditionally to activists.  Not just money for a specific court case or cause, but money for the travel, accommodation and the loss of income from not being able to work on those days.

I loved Laura and I believe she had affections for me, often sharing with me aspects of her life, and sometimes having petty arguments like married couples.  I loved her forthrightness and the way she picked me up on my occasional tactlessness.  I greatly miss her; her death has left a hole in my heart and life.  I bitterly regret not attending the Beyond the Gaze event in Manchester where Laura received a standing ovation for her speech.

May Laura continue to haunt the lives of those who fight against total decriminalisation of sex work.

Read Full Post »

I recently received an email from the ladies at MatureSensual, an advertising site for escorts over 40, about changes they’re making to head off the growing persecution of escort advertising sites by the US government.  I thought there were a lot of important points, so I asked Liana of MatureSensual to do this article for me.  If you want more information, contact @maturesensual on Twitter and Jaeleen will answer you, or go to this site and Liana will send you more on February 1st.

We are aware that there may be changes happening in the US legal system regarding the freedom to advertise our services and we’ve decided to take control of our own destiny rather than be at the mercy of these proposals – so we are going “offshore” (outside of the USA).  You may need to consider this information for yourself and determine the next steps for your internet presence.

Under a proposal from Rep. Bob Goodlatte, anyone posting or hosting digital content that leads to an act of prostitution could face serious federal prison time as well as civil penalties.  This is obviously bad news for us.  Goodlatte’s proposal was offered as an amendment to another House bill, this one from Ann Wagner, which would open digital platforms to criminal and civil liability not just for future sex crimes that result from user posts or interactions but also for past harms brokered by the platforms in some way.  So platforms that followed previous federal rules (which encouraged less content moderation in order to avoid liability) would now be especially vulnerable to charges and lawsuits.  The bill currently has 171 co-sponsors, including ample numbers of both Republicans and Democrats.

We have all made choices around how we want to promote our businesses on the internet, and as small business entrepreneurs we are fiercely independent and, of course, are extremely proud of the fact.  What our websites look like, who we link share with (our business associates), and who we will give our hard-earned money to for our paid advertising is all part of our branding and advertising strategies.  Some of you will have chosen quality products such as Wix or Squarespace or (god forbid) Vistaprint.  All are Content Management Systems (CMS); you chose a beautiful functional template, filled in the gaps, added your yummy photos, attached it to your domain and away you went, on a minimal monthly fee.  CMS is wonderful, except when you want to move your website to another hosting service – you can’t.  It isn’t part of a CMS’s business model; they like to keep you where you are “with them”.  Some of these organisations may choose to interpret these laws and disallow your services; it’s too early to know, but you should be aware.

Organisations such as SafeOffice provide premium offshore services already and will be adding CMS to their portfolio of services, but you won’t be able to import your WordPress or existing CMS site into their system.  Of course, you can copy & paste existing information into your new CMS, but basically, you will need to create it again using their templates.  Organisations such as CutieTools (also CMS) will find ways of going offshore for you.  Some of you will be familiar with WordPress – it also doesn’t import into CMS systems.  We chose to use WordPress for our website solution. If you use WordPress, you will be able to use a plugin called All-in-One to create backups and to move your wordpress to another server.  Generally it can take you two to three hours to create it on the new server and migrate it from the old server, if you have good technical skills.  We currently have approximately 30 websites that we manage, and when we moved from one server to another last year some of those websites took considerably longer than the 2 to 3 hours to migrate across.  So here’s hoping that you have kept your websites up to date with plugins, WordPress updates, and have eliminated any problems regarding viruses and hacks.  Of course you may want to do the transfer yourself; however, if you want to focus on what you do best, providing an impeccable service to your clients, you may want someone else to handle the management of your WordPress site.  You are invited to contact us ~ we’re happy to help.  These are the four points that you need to consider when making an informed choice about the future of your advertising:

(1) Hosted offshore
(2) Incorporated offshore
(3) Cannot control website from USA
(4) No company officer in USA (for subpoena)

Our business model includes the use of WordPress for our websites and we have no intention of moving away from that software.  We already have three of the four points implemented for our business model, so it was easy for us to take the next logical step and we expect to be live in the next four weeks from our new cozy home offshore.  We are also implementing a mirrored server, which we think is vital in these times; a mirrored server means if anything happens to our server, we have a duplicate ready to go and it is just a matter of changing IP addresses to a different location.  It’s very similar to what people like Pirate Bay would do to provide you a service.  Point 3 is especially important because it could mean that you cannot edit your websites from inside the USA when you take those words to their extreme meaning.  This may mean that you will need to use a Virtual Private Network (VPN) to mask your IP address – to give the look that you are in a different location.  Unfortunately, the moment you forget to use that VPN, you put yourself at risk of being flagged.  You may also need to mask the owner of the domain name; it may be as simple as having a private domain on your website so nobody can get your information, or having the registration transferred to someone outside of the USA (we naturally have because I live outside of the USA.)  The brand remains the property of the service provider but the domain name registration is masked and handled outside of the USA.

The biggest fear for all of us will be if the US government or Internet Service Providers (ISP) block access to selected sites; search engines like Google could decide to exclude adult content in search results, and ISPs could block access to certain domains/IPs.  Authoritarian countries do this all the time, and as things stand now in the US, First Amendment rights may be abrogated.  Further moves in this direction would force all of us to go underground, creating a more dangerous environment for everyone.  We have decided to protect every website we currently host by editing these WordPress sites offshore or with a VPN; if it becomes absolutely necessary to edit and maintain websites outside of the US, we already have everything in place.  I can also see that there will be a sliding scale on the cost of editing and managing the website; it will be a monthly charge depending on the number of changes you like to make to your site.  Some people like to set and forget others like to constantly tweak their offerings – pricing will be reflective of those choices.  At present, all our websites at a minimum are edited on a monthly basis and to keep all plugins and WordPress databases up to date.  Whenever changes are submitted, naturally all relevant updates are applied.  All our websites are backed up twice a day and quality virus protection software to protect our sites.  I would expect you would be paying $200-$240 USD for annual hosting fees for a quality server that can deliver your content to the US; I would further expect the transferring of your site from one server to another could cost you approximately $200 USD depending on the condition of your website and how you have managed it.  Everything needs to come down to the cost of doing business and how you want to do your business.  You need to fore-armed with information and make your choices and then successfully implement them whichever way you choose.

Read Full Post »

Democrats have been using internet sex panics to score political victories since the days of MySpace.  –  A.V. Flox

Rough Trade 

Please be careful out there, ladies:

[Los Angeles] detectives are searching for a serial rapist they say preys on prostitutes.  The suspect [pretends he want to]…pay…but…ends up kidnapping the women, raping them and then dumping them from his vehicle.  The man has struck at least 12 times since January 2014…victims have ranged from 15 to 46 years old…Despite the fact the man’s description has varied, and wildly, police [claim to] believe the one man is responsible for the attacks…

The Swedish Pimpocracy

If you’re raped in Sweden, claim the rapist offered to pay you; THAT, they’ll punish him for:

A Swedish court has acquitted five men accused of [gang] raping a woman and being complicit in her rape in Stockholm suburb Fittja in 2016…Video evidence from CCTV and images from the stairwell where the rape is alleged to have taken place were…used in the trial, as well as witness accounts.  The three men accused of rape acknowledged that they had sex with the woman, but insisted that it was voluntary.  And while it “was been established the woman had injuries after the incident in the form of skin discoloration and scrapes, the origin of or reason for them could not be established” the court’s summary of the trial states…

Profound Ignorance 

Even when economists produce research that supports sex worker rights, it’s riddled with dumb statements:

…Research published in the Review of Economic Studies  found that when prostitution was decriminalised in Rhode Island, sexual violence fell by 30 per cent and female gonorrhoea incidence decreased by more than 40 per cent.  The findings were based on an examination of the impact of a six-year prostitution decriminalisation policy in the state, from 2003 to 2009…Previous research shows that 23 per cent of female sex workers report they have had gonorrhoea, compared to 4.7 per cent for women who have never been paid for sex…the decline in sexual violence was due to a number of factors relating to the decriminalisation of prostitution.  When sex work is legal, prostitution firms are more likely to invest in locks, security cameras and security personnel to reduce the opportunity of premeditated client violence…Decriminalisation also reduces violence by increasing sex workers’ willingness to cooperate with police and reducing opportunities for police corruption.  Currently only 34 per cent of prostitutes who are victims of violence by clients report it to the police…

Manisha Shah is Scott Cunningham’s research partner for the previous version of this study, so seeing the usual Cunningham mistakes isn’t surprising.  Rhode Island decriminalized for almost 30 years, not 6.  Comparing the STI rates of street sex workers (it isn’t nearly 23% lifetime rate in the population of all sex workers) to that of all women – many of whom are in long-term monogamous marriages – produces meaningless results (sexually active amateurs have much higher STI rates than sex workers).  A minority of sex workers work for “firms” of any size (most are independent or work in small associations).  The majority of violence against sex workers is committed by cops, not clients, which is an important reason violence decreases under decrim, but this study ignores it.  And so on, and so on…

The Truth About “The Truth About…”

And now there are people who want to reverse the burden of proof in rape cases, which would make escaping this kind of false accusation impossible:

A student has described going through “mental torture” after a rape case against him was thrown out in court because police had [intentionally hidden] more than 40,000 messages from his accuser.  Liam Allan, 22, faced up to ten years in jail charged with six counts of rape and six counts of sexual assault against a young woman over a 14-month period that began when he was 19…Mr Allan claimed it was consensual and [the accuser] was acting maliciously because he refused to see her after he returned to university…The messages showed how she had continually messaged Mr Allan for “casual sex”, said how much she enjoyed it and discussed fantasies of violent sex and rape…The life-changing discovery was made at the 11th hour when a new prosecutor, Jerry Hayes, took over the case one day before the trial began and ordered police to hand over records — including a computer disk that contained 40,000 messages…[police had previously] denied [requests for the messages, claiming] there was nothing of interest in them…detectives had previously told [the prosecutor that] the sexual messages were “too personal” to share…

Banishment

Like all truly oppressive laws, this one is bipartisan:

Oregon is about to enact one of the country’s most draconian, carceral, and unnecessary “public safety” measures.  Beginning on January 1, 2018, certain sex crimes committed in the state will come with a presumptive sentence of life in prison, without the possibility of parole or release…[This] will apply to those convicted of first-degree rapesodomy, or unlawful sexual penetration if they have a prior conviction…for any of these crimes…[or] similar charges…The measure was introduced by Senate President Peter Courtney (D-Salem) and Sen. Kim Thatcher (R-Keizer) in April 2017.  It was signed into law by Democratic Gov. Kate Brown in August.  An analysis of the proposed fiscal impact of the legislation found it “could impose significant increases in public defense costs,” estimating cost increases of around $800,000 to $1,350,000 per year…

Shame, Shame 

Once in a while a judge treats a sex worker as a human being:

Being a sex worker does not disqualify you from having a private life, a judge has said, as he granted an injunction to an escort who has been harassed online.  The woman, known as GYH, has been caused considerable distress by online publications about her sex life, physical and mental health…These include allegations that she has HIV/AIDS, which…are untrue.  GYH brought proceedings in London against “persons unknown” as, despite extensive efforts, it has proved impossible to trace any individual who has posted the material…the abuse began in December 2015 after she received a text message from someone claiming to be a student who wished to meet her socially but not pay for her services.  When GYH declined, the conversation deteriorated into abuse.  She also received anonymous phone calls with further abuse.  Posts on a series of websites made allegations that she had spread sexually transmitted diseases, was anorexic and mentally ill…They use both her work name and legal name and also include specific and identifiable information about her and pictures…

Choke Point 

An important article, despite the dumb & tone-deaf jab at libertarians in the end note:

…though it may come as a surprise to a few queers under the umbrella, the masters of political-ascent-via-internet-sex-panic are our political darlings, the Democrats…and they’re still doing it.  Take Kamala Harris.  One of her biggest achievements while she was Attorney General of California came at the expense of sex workers…Harris is a senator now, and we still don’t know how many cops are implicated in the sexual exploitation of a minor…sex worker…this is not the only account of victimization at the hands of police (in case you were wondering why some queers really don’t want police at Pride.  Hey, did you know that transwomen arrested during prostitution stings tend to be misgendered as pimps and johns and charged with human trafficking?  Helps pad the numbers!)…“Real name” policies that have terrorized the trans community?  We can thank Richard Blumenthal…for those…And…all the “adult content” guidelines on him, too…Payment processors and financial institutions getting squeamish about adult content?  Barack Obama was already president when he green-lit the FDIC on the operation to discourage legal businesses  extralegally, but the Cook County sheriff…sure took it to a whole new level

Bread and Circuses 

The time for Playboy to come on board as an active supporter of sex worker rights is long overdue:

…The…campaign [against sex workers] has shut down online advertising venues that sex workers depend on to acquire and screen their clients.  The FBI, the DOJ and Homeland Security launched the raids and closures of websites like Rentboy, Redbook and Backpage…The latest casualty appears to be the Eros Guide—its call center headquarters were raided in Youngstown, North Carolina in early November…These website crackdowns appear to be mere dress rehearsals for a wide-reaching, bipartisan piece of legislation now moving through Congress.  The Senate bill, Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act, and the House companion version, Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act, both have feel-good titles, but activists argue that these proposed policy changes would have worrisome implications for free speech, and would actually worsen conditions for anyone in the sex trade…

To Molest and Rape 

If this were really a consensual “relationship” as they want us to think, why did the woman report him?

A Portland [cop]…pleaded guilty to first-degree official misconduct and was sentenced to a year and a half of probation with required community service for having sex on duty with a woman he [supposedly] met responding to a neighborhood noise disturbance call…Christian Robert Berge…[also] agreed to resign from the Portland Police…and surrender his police certification…Multnomah County Chief Deputy District Attorney Don Rees didn’t describe the offense during the brief court hearing…The alleged sexual relationship lasted from mid-August 2015 through this past May…The woman reported the behavior to police recently…

Lack of Evidence (#716) 

Pink News seems to think that if he really were a sex worker, this would be OK:

A gay German national was forced onto a flight to Japan after being refused entry into Australia.  As PrEP tablets and sex toys were found in his luggage, Border Force agents accused the man of coming into the country to engage in sex work…Michael (not his real name) had reportedly been living in Australia for more than two years when he took a week-long trip to Japan after his tourist visa expired…[he] hoped to apply for a partner visa with his boyfriend, Andrew (also not his real name)…Andrew alleged that his boyfriend was profiled by agents for appearing “visibly gay”.  Officials asked him to open his suitcase, where they found PrEP tablets and sex toys.  It is not illegal to bring either of these into Australia for personal use.  Despite this fact, guards…confiscated them and even went through Michael’s phone.  They found text messages on the phone which they have since used as proof that Michael was planning to engage in paid sex work…

The Widening Gyre (#718) 

Teenage sweethearts run away together; fetishists immediately start spinning “sex trafficking” fantasies:

Sex trafficking experts say they believe two missing Humble High School teens, a 14 year old and a 15 year old, may have been lured away from home by sex traffickers…[they were] found safe [on December 19th but] police aren’t releasing any other details.  Ame Carr…[and] Alexander Irizarry-Avila…were in a relationship.  Carr did not leave a note but Irizarry did…“telling [his mother] he’d check in once a week, telling her he’s OK…he said ‘Don’t call the police because it would make it that much harder for me to come home’”…

Business As Usual (#733) 

Michigan cops can no longer get away with openly raping sex workers; now they have to pretend they didn’t, as they do in the other 49 states:

Michigan law will no longer shield police from prosecution for prostitution-related offenses committed while on duty…Michigan was believed to be the last state in the country to give police [explicit] immunity for [raping] prostitutes [before arresting them]…

Rooted in Racism (#795) 

No, this didn’t “veer…close to racial profiling”; it was clear and deliberate racial profiling within government-approved guidelines:

…Brian and Renee Smith…were questioned on arrival at the airport in Phoenix, suspected of being human traffickers for traveling with [their] 16-year-old Asian…adopted daughter, Georgiana…During a flight from Florida to their home in Arizona on December 20, father and Georgiana were seated together, mom and the family’s three other children were not in the same row.  This [inspired]…the Southwest Airlines flight attendant to [have sexual fantasies about] the white man and [young] Asian [woman].  All flight attendants in America are required to receive training in spotting human traffickers under a law passed in 2016…to the Smith family, the experience was humiliating and worrisome, veering close to racial profiling…because Georgiana [is] not Caucasian…

Kudos to Forbes contributor Christina Negroni for recognizing that the “air hostess stops sex trafficking” story floating around for the past few years is bogus.

Read Full Post »

At the beginning of September I got an email from a bottom-feeder who takes money from escorts to write fake reviews.  Naturally, I replied with a blast of “How dare you!”, “Don’t you know who I am?” and “Fuck you, you fucking fuckwad, I wouldn’t need fake reviews even if I wanted to be on TER, which I don’t.”  The reply?  Unctuous flattery about how the offer was only open to the best, most “upscale” girls (in which case, why do they need it?) and pretended offense that I would claim this unethical scam was unethical.  At the time, I bitched on Twitter but decided not to give the sleazebag business by calling attention to him.  But a few days ago he sent me his “offer” again, and this time I really blew my stack and promised to call attention to this.  Here are the highlights of the email, with his contact info and a lot of repetition removed.

Saw your ad online and wanted to tell you that you look beautiful.  I want to give you best reviews out there with top rankings.  My approach is proven to help you make more money, attracting new clients, by Sharing positive experiences.  Placing you above the competition…I write TER and Eccie reviews.  We never have to actually meet, That’s it!  The stories I write are full-detailed and believable…Will do as many as you want from various profiles.  You can even write your own and I will post it for you…I will not post for new providers, or any TER profile I deem to be skeptical [sic]…Please do not ask me for TER Handle’s [sic] I post from to read my review’s [sic], it is a breach of my security and my clients [sic]…I charge $150 for 1 or 2 for $275.  Paid via Bitcoin, Litecoin, and Ethereum only.  I will not discuss any other form of payment, so please do not ask…time lines for posting up to ten reviews will be outlined safely, as not to draw attention from TER support…Don’t wait this rare opportunity won’t be here much longer…If you do not agree with this service please do not respond, also please do not post this to Twitter.  Too [sic] all the Grumpy Girls over at FCKTER, FCKP411, & Escort Union PLEASE get a fucking clue, NO ONE wants an UNREVIEWED PROVIDER.  Stop fighting the very system that keeps us all safe.  I don’t work with anyone who isn’t known in our community, and would never jeopardize the safety or the security of the referencing system that is widely used by everyone…this is 10000% discreet and confidential…

Reviews don’t keep sex workers safe; they keep clients safe.  But even that’s not true any more, considering that prosecutors are now using reviews as “evidence” of “promoting prostitution” (i.e. pimping).  And given TER’s policy of not removing demonstrably-false reviews (including this dude’s, unless this is a total scam, of course), the system can actually harm escorts by allowing enemies to plant fake bad reviews to hurt her business, and by allowing cops to write fake reviews so as to establish credibility with which to infiltrate our community.  I haven’t allowed reviews for a while now, and I’m not alone; many ladies don’t any more, some for reasons I’ve already mentioned and some from a general distaste for the whole thing.  Guys, there are better ways to select an escort than buying into a system which can be gamed by bottom-feeders like this dude and used by pigs to destroy your life.  And ladies, please don’t enrich scum-suckers in hope of gaming a broken, abusive, increasingly-dangerous system.

Read Full Post »

How does one go about finding an escort if he lives in a small town or rural area?

As with so many things, that depends on a number of factors.  If you’re financially comfortable and have time you can spend as you like, you can search the internet for a lady you like just about anywhere, then simply travel to her city and spend the night in a nice hotel; maybe you can do some sightseeing or take in a show or sporting event or the like while you’re at it.  If you travel for business, that’s even easier; just contact the provider of your choice in the city you’re visiting and arrange for an outcall to your hotel.  If you know your travel dates well in advance, I’d suggest making the arrangements as early as possible; I can’t count the number of times I’ve been contacted by gentlemen who are really excited to see me…but wait to call on the last day of their stay, and I’m busy or out of town or otherwise unable to see them.  If you’re traveling with co-workers and fear discovery, just ask to see the lady at her incall; a short cab or Lyft ride will buy you privacy and peace of mind.  And if you’ve got more money than flexibility, many escorts (including me) are willing to travel to your location for the right price.  If you choose this option, she may require airfare, accommodations and/or a minimum date length, and will almost certainly ask for a deposit; these requirements can vary a great deal from one lady to another (for example, I require accommodations and a minimum date length, but I handle my own airfare or fuel costs).

If you’re on a budget and can’t travel freely, your choices are a bit more limited; if the nearest large city isn’t too far, you could drive there and return in the same day, seeing a provider at her incall (a few months ago a gentleman drove from Spokane to see me, four hours each way).  And even if it is far, you could wait for an opportunity when you’re traveling there anyway.  Some review sites do cover small cities and the area surrounding them; when I lived in Oklahoma I still saw gentlemen part-time despite being two hours from either Tulsa or Oklahoma City.  This isn’t unusual; many of the escorts in less-populated places are part-timers.  If there isn’t a review board which covers your area, you’ll need to go to Backpage or Craigslist; though these sites no longer have designated adult ads due to the “sex trafficking” witch hunt, you can still find them in the “women seeking men” section, ads for personal services such as massage, etc.  But please be very, very careful with that; sociopathic cops adore using those sites to entrap people so they can rob them, post their pictures in the paper and destroy their lives.  If quickie ad sites are your only option, ask the lady if she has a website or a presence on an escort board in another city; just because she lives in a small town doesn’t mean she doesn’t tour or take frequent trips to a nearby city.  If you just want sexual services and don’t require companionship, you might consider a massage parlor, but beware; cops have been known to raid them and even to set up fake massage parlors to entrap men.  So only go to one if you’ve seen it continually in the same location for at least a year, and have never, ever seen police cars there or heard of it being raided.  And no matter which of these strategies you choose, tip well and be a perfect gentleman, so you will be able to count on seeing her again in the future.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

Read Full Post »

Every day that me and my clients aren’t being arrested is a day that my life gets a little easier.  –  A mother in New Zealand

Whore Madonnas

Imagine this article in an American parenting column:

I’m young, Māori and a sex worker, and my life is harder than you can imagine, but not for the reasons you’re thinking…I’ve lived with chronic pain in my body since I was a child, and my daughter’s severe disability means that I will continue to care for her full time for the remainder of my life…My body isn’t capable of working a 40 hour week, nor allowing me to become qualified at something that pays well…Both my daughter and I will gradually become more and more disabled, but she much sooner than me.  She already needs one-to-one care at all times, and she’s still just a small child…I need to plan for her future – and I imagine she will outlive me, so I need to plan for that as well…Being a sex worker means I can work when I am able and have days off when I’m not.  I can fit my work around my disability, I choose when and how I work, and there is no pressure from my workplace.  I never have to do more hours than I want to, so I can spend lots of time caring for my daughter…Some people [pretend]…that any woman who needs money is not free to truly choose [to] work, but is forced into [work] by circumstance…They say my clients should be arrested, and they want to stop me from being able to work…but…sex work is getting me out of a lifelong predicament, and I’m glad I have the option to do it legally…

Anatomy of a Boondoggle 

Note the buried lede: cops sexually assaulted women in order to arrest them:

That a Chinatown spa was busted for prostitution…is further reinforcement of a cliche stereotype…A summons is currently duct-taped to the front door, and…There is also a note on the legal document stating, “prostitution is a right of free people; this is an attack upon human liberty, you evil fucks”…At least two instances were highlighted – both back in April – in which employees “performed a sexual act” on [disguised pigs]…

The Sky is Falling!

Only in the looking-glass world inhabited by prohibitionists can could anyone take seriously the notion that a common arrangement literally as old as human culture is only now becoming “normalized”:

[Prohibitionists] have warned against the normalisation of the “sugar daddy” or “blesser” culture, whereby young girls are lured into sex in exchange for material goods, bringing them one step closer to the threat of sex trafficking…girls lured with promises of setting up with a “sugar daddy” have ended up, trapped as sex slaves.  The idea of having a sugar daddy, or “blesser”, is a widely normal…concept in South Africa to describe a transactional relationship struck between young girls and older men who provide them with material goods in return for sex.  But [prohibitionists pretend] the normalisation of [something that was described in the previous sentence as already widely normal]…is leading to growing numbers of girls being duped by sex traffickers…

Under Review

I’m completely aghast at everyone involved in the creation of this shitshow, from the pigs, to the prohibitionists who came up with the moronic “sex trafficking” rhetoric they’re using to justify their sadistic game, to the cheapskate haggler, to any board sleazy enough to allow this kind of review, to the reporter with his dysphemisms and weird scare quotes; frankly, I’d like to see all of them put in a weighted sack together and thrown into the Columbia river.  Read this pile of rancid filth at your own risk, but you may feel the need to scrub your eyeballs after.

To Molest and Rape 

Your periodic reminder that the State covering up for rapist cops isn’t confined to the US:

…The Garda Siochana Ombudsman Commission (GSOC)…has received 47 complaints relating to [rapes]…sexual assaults and similar offences in the last three- and-a-half years, none of which have resulted in any criminal proceedings being taken.  [Only] nine of the cases remain open, including a…[report] that a garda had sex with an underage person last year…

Scrupleless in Seattle

Holy shit, guys, STOP GOING TO PLACES YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF TO SEE GIRLS WITH NO REPUTATION!  Stick to ladies with an established internet footprint and you’ll be safe from this evil:

…Bellevue police and the King County Sheriff’s Office opened [a fake] brothel…setting up a sting in a condominium…Over the course of seven days, dozens of unsuspecting [men]…answered online ads posted by [pervert pigs pretending to be sex workers]…They were arrested after showing up at the condo…[pigs] arrested 110 men and impounded 105 cars, two motorcycles and one bicycle…

The End of the Beginning (#718) 

Maybe, just maybe, we’re about to witness the beginning of the end of these evil laws:

A federal court judge in Denver has called the public sex offender registry…“cruel and unusual punishment”…Judge Richard Matsch has found [registration] to be a violation of the U.S. Constitution.  He wrote that the public has been given the “power to inflict punishments beyond those imposed through the court.”  Alison Ruttenberg, the attorney for the sex offenders, [said]…“Making them at risk for vigilantes’ action to have their houses burned down, beaten up or even killed…is cruel and unusual punishment…There’s not a single crime in Colorado that has been solved because of the sex offender registry.  Sex offenders have probably the lowest recidivism rate of any felon and to single them out for this type of public ridicule and registration is irrational. It doesn’t do anything to keep our community safer”…The judge found the posting of sex offender information to be a violation of two different amendments…The Colorado Attorney General’s office says it hasn’t decided on if it will appeal the ruling…


The Course of a Disease (#745)

This is exactly what prohibitionists wanted, despite their claims to the contrary:

Attacks on [Irish] sex workers have increased dramatically since a change in the law last March which criminalised the purchase of sex…the law change has forced the trade deeper underground…put sex workers under greater pressure to put themselves in riskier situations…[and] makes sex workers less likely to report dangerous clients to gardaí…[Lucy Smyth of Ugly Mugs]…said [the organization] had received 1,635 reports from sex workers who were concerned about clients in the five months since the law change, a 61 per cent increase on the same period last year.  Some 137 of these incidents involved violence, including sexual assault, with knives or guns reportedly produced in 12 of these case. A total of 79 incidents of violence were reported in the first five months of last year…

The Notorious Badge (#760)

What was the point of talking to Annie Sprinkle if she wasn’t going to listen?

…Maggie Gyllenhaal…as…Candy is the lone figure in [The Deuce]…who suggests an inner life and the toll the sex trade takes on the human soul…“I needed to talk to someone who’s done this”…[so the] series executive producer…introduced Maggie to Annie Sprinkle…[who]…“hooked me up with a bunch of her friends…Annie was really the key into that world.  The women I spoke with were in their 60s.  I was so grateful”…

Yes, in a mainstream newspaper in the 21st century, an apparently adult writer is actually claiming that sex has magical booga-booga powers to damage souls, presumably like a curse or the One Ring or something.

Read Full Post »

I’m trying to join a site that requires a reference; could you provide that for me?

Unless you’re someone I’ve actually met in person and know to be a sex worker, the answer is “absolutely not”.  Ditto if you’re a client I haven’t actually had a full-rate appointment with.  The reason should be obvious: the entire point of references for joining sex worker sites is to provide some measure of trust.  If I’m a trusted member of a site and I give a reference for a lady or gent I’ve met and feel reasonably good about, that says something about that person.  But if I just give references for people who haven’t actually done anything to earn that vouch, I’m deliberately cutting at the webwork of trust such sites rely upon and sabotaging the system; that’s an ethical nightmare which could allow any number of awful and even dangerous people behind the walls.

Now, it’s absolutely true that all a cop needs to do to infiltrate an escort board is to talk somebody into seeing him, then using her as a reference to see someone else, and after he does that a few times getting them to vouch for him (maybe even writing a few reviews for good measure).  That’s morally reprehensible behavior; it’s serial consent violation for the purpose of destroying a community, ruining lives and wrecking careers, which puts it on the same moral level as rape even if the individual women who were tricked don’t realize it.  Of course, cops (being moral retards) have no aversion to rape and other vile, thoroughly loathsome violations of the most basic human decency; they are, however, subject to limitations imposed by time, money and their own stupidity, and therefore tend to prefer low-hanging fruit to that which can only be harvested via years of sleazy spying and exploitation.  With a few notable exceptions like the violation of Seattle’s The Review Board, cops prefer to capture and parade the largest number of victims possible in front of the reporters’ cameras for the least possible effort, and that means when they bother trying to infiltrate sites at all they generally do it in the quickest, easiest way possible.  And you’ve got to admit that if it worked, getting a fake vouch from a well-respected escort would be a helluva lot quicker than the months-long process of actually behaving like a decent paying customer for long enough to worm his way in.  Of course, most well-respected escorts are going to answer this question in exactly the same way as I did back in the first sentence, though without the explanation.  Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s very likely that the person who asked me this question is a real sex worker, but I don’t know that for a fact.  And the stakes are much too high for me to gamble them on a guess.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »