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Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

No Need?

Prohibitionists are fond of claiming that nobody “needs” sex; in order to sell their evil belief that the State should have the power to inflict violence on individuals for peaceful, consensual acts of which the State nonetheless disapproves, prohibitionists try to represent sex as a mere “extra”, like playing video games or going on vacations.  Those of us whose profession includes tending to the sexually wounded and touch-starved know better; we understand that while people don’t die for lack of sex, they also don’t immediately die for lack of other things that the prudes would still refer to as “needs”.  Life is not merely a synonym for “biological existence”, and there are many things which have nothing to do with maintaining biochemical processes, yet are necessary for a life that isn’t low-level torture.    The psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed a “hierarchy of needs”, with the basic biological requirements such as food and oxygen at the bottom and pursuit of one’s own personal potential at the top; the needs at the bottom are most paramount, and it’s very difficult to consistently pursue the needs at the higher levels when there are holes lower in the pyramid.  Note that intimacy (including sexual intimacy) is in the middle, yet prohibitionists claim it’s unnecessary and even say people have no right to it; one wonders what kind of dreary, prison-like existence they believe humans “should” be leading?  Nor are sex prohibitionists the only ones whose minds are poisoned by this evil belief; drug prohibitionists have for many years now waged a campaign against people getting relief from chronic pain on the grounds that some of them might enjoy the drugs.  These are not the thought patterns of normal, morally-developed human beings, but rather the sick beliefs of busybodies whose own sexuality is only satisfied by denying happiness to others.

English is a language with a very large and nuanced vocabulary; for most concepts there is a broad selection of words to convey subtle differences in meaning.  But in this case the language is lacking; there are no adequate words to cover the gap between “want” and “need”.  The former implies mere preference or desire, while the latter indicates something that’s required for a healthy life, and the few words we have to bridge the gap, words like “yearning”, “longing” and “pining” come across as more poetic than specific.   I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that cannabis has kept me going the past two years; I don’t “need” it like I need food or water, and I often go a couple of days without it when my schedule doesn’t permit a long-enough downtime.  But neither is it a mere “want”; it enables me to relax, to control my anxiety, and to relieve the deep sorrow under which I otherwise labor for most of my waking hours, and it allows me a quality of sleep I had been denied for a decade.  Certainly, there are other drugs that might do the job…but not as well, and at the cost of deleterious side-effects, a level of medical surveillance with which I’m not comfortable, and more money than I can afford.  Similarly, my clients don’t “need” my services like they “need” oxygen, and yet it often isn’t a mere amusement either; recently the wife of one of my gentlemen publicly thanked me for relieving her husband’s stress and told me I was great for their marriage.

If most people were morally-developed enough to respect each others’ differences and preferences, it would hardly matter; whether another person’s desire for human contact is merely a fancy born of boredom or an aching emotional wound makes no difference if everyone respects his right to seek it for himself.  But sadly, that is not the case; we live in a world where evil lunatics claim the right to assess why others want what they want, and to use violence to deny it to them if they can’t “prove” that they “need” it badly enough…and often, not even then.

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You’re fucked.  –  gun inscription of “Officer” Philip Brailsford

I quite enjoyed this short animated film about the danger of falling in love.  The links above it were provided by Eddie J CunninghamMike SiegelPopehatRadley BalkoWalter OlsonTim Cushing, and Popehat again, in that order.

From the Archives

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Shame on him that gives me a legal reason to stop him.  –  Patrick Ivey

David Cassidy died this week, and though I wasn’t as big a fan of his as one of my sisters was, I was always very fond of this particular song, with its very distinctive melodic structure and unusual key progression.  The links above the video were provided by Mike SiegelTim CushingKevin WilsonRadley BalkoAdjective Girl, and Walter Olson, in that order.

From the Archives

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Don’t any Spanish speakers work at Taco Bell headquarters? – Jerry Coyne

I didn’t find this video actually scary because the ending was obvious from fifty seconds in, but it had a good atmosphere and there were a few moments that gave me a frisson, which is more than I can say for 99% of what passes for “horror” these days (which are basically nothing but long lead-ins to jump scares).  The links above it were provided by Cathy ReisenwitzJesse WalkerAmy AlkonRadley BalkoKevin WilsonTim Cushing, and Scott Greenfield, in that order.

From the Archives

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The Anxiety Trap

I have intense fear of socializing and being vulnerable with other people, especially other women; men can be “intense” for me and so I fear them too, even though I know it’s irrational.  This may seem stupid, but I feel helpless and trapped.  Do you have any advice?

I’m sorry I’ve taken a week to answer you; I’ve been pretty rushed and I wanted to take the time to give you a proper answer.  Well, that’s not entirely honest; I haven’t just been busy, I’ve also been suffering from pretty severe anxiety and feelings of sorrow.  I’m telling you this because I want you to understand that you aren’t alone.  Many people, even people you respect and think of as wise or heroic, suffer from these kinds of feelings.  Now, the feelings aren’t always directed toward the same things; for example, I have no problem at all with socializing, but like you I have a great deal of trouble with allowing myself to be vulnerable with people I love (so forget it with strangers).  The feeling persists even with people who have never done anything to justify it; it’s a feeling born inside of me, fed by decades of frustrating social & familial interactions dating back to my childhood.  And yes, I feel very stupid about it, especially because everyone thinks I’m so strong and tough and they can’t imagine why I should be this way.

But I’m here to tell you that it isn’t stupid, not at all; it’s the way you’re wired.  I don’t know whether this is due to trauma or biochemistry (some anxiety disorders are neurological & have nothing to do with life experiences), but in either case I think you could probably benefit from therapy.  I’m not promising you it will be easy to find one; you may have to try a few before locating one who will understand you and whom you can trust (this is even more so for sex workers).  But I think it’s worth the effort.  The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has a list of “kink-aware professionals”, and at the bottom of that list you’ll find other links that may be helpful; you didn’t say you were kinky, but most professionals who are non-judgmental of kink will also be non-judgmental of sex work.  If you can’t find anyone on that list you might also try AASECT, but please be aware that many therapists in that list are NOT sex-positive despite setting themselves forth as therapists specializing in sexuality.  It’s also possible that medications may help; some people benefit from daily anti-anxiety medications, while others do better on take-as-needed medications like Xanax (or even cannabis, if you have a consistent source).  But even if you and your doctor decide meds are not the best option, just being able to talk to someone non-judgmental can do a world of good.

I wish you all the best, and I sincerely want you to write me back to keep me posted on how things go for you.  Above all, please understand that you aren’t alone, you aren’t weird, and your suffering isn’t hopeless.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

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I thought, how nice for him…to take care of my little girl.  –  Nancy Wells

Bad Girls 

Really, guys, just hire actual pros; it’s much cheaper in the long run:

An FBI counterterrorism supervisor had his gun and pricey watch stolen by an “exotic dancer” after a boozy night at a North Carolina hotel…Robert Manson…awoke the next day to find she’d swiped his Glock .40-caliber handgun, Rolex and about $60 in cash…Last month, a woman stole a $37,000 watch from a man she’d just met at a swanky eatery.  Over the summer, two women stole $80,000 worth of timepieces from several saps who invited them back to their luxury hotel rooms…two women [stole] an elderly…man[‘s]…watch and $3,000 in cash after meeting him at a cigar bar…in August, a Saudi diplomat was robbed of a $30,000 Gerald Genta-designed watch, a $12,000 Rolex and $2,500 in cash after hooking up with a woman he met at celebrity hot spot 1Oak…

The Punitive Mindset 

One would think defense attorneys of all people would have more sense than to imagine the purpose of cops is to “protect” anybody:

A half-dozen employees of the Cook County Public Defender’s office have filed a sexual harassment lawsuit, claiming county officials have done nothing to protect them from inmates who masturbate in front of them during visits to the jail and courtroom holding cells…Public Defender Amy Campanelli’s deputy, Lester Finkle, said in a statement that the office had been working with…sheriff [Tom Dart] and judges to come up with a solution for two years…Campanelli has said she wants extra [cops] on hand in courtroom lockups, a solution Dart has said costs him $40,000 per week in overtime.  Dart, also named in the lawsuit, [wants to lock the prisoners up for even longer instead]…

Arch-sleazebag Tom Dart, whom you may remember as Swanee Hunt’s crony, is intentionally perpetuating a situation which will make it harder to people in his filthy cages to get legal representation, while simultaneously calling for worsening the conditions that are causing the problem.  Anybody else smell a rat?

Under Duress

Even on the rare occasion when cops want to tell the truth, their superiors may force them to lie:

Massachusetts State Trooper Ryan Sceviour is suing his superiors…[after] they ordered him to alter a police report involving the daughter of a judge in a DUI and drug incident.  The state police are…arguing the order to change the report was appropriate.  Sceviour arrived at the scene of a crash Oct. 16…Behind the wheel he…found Alli Bibaud, daughter of [drug court judge] Timothy Bibaud…reeking of alcohol with a “heroin kit” in the car…Bibaud told him she had traded sex for drugs and…offered to have sex with Sceviour for more lenient treatment…two days later [Sceviour]…was ordered to alter his police report….[and] reprimanded for including Bibaud’s statements in his report…It’s not hard to imagine how neglecting to report an offer of sex for leniency could backfire [on a cop].  More importantly, the lack of any effort to ensure that “sensationalistic and inflammatory” statements by other suspects don’t appear in police reports suggests the state police was more interested in protecting Bibaud’s father than the privacy of all people arrested by state police…

Buried Truth 

Man who pontificates about “Christian morality” and thinks homosexuality should be a crime has a thing for underage girls.  Gee, what a surprise:

Leigh Corfman…was 14 years old when an older man approached her outside a courtroom in Etowah County, Ala…It was early 1979 and [Roy] Moore — now the Republican nominee in Alabama for a U.S. Senate seat — was a 32-year-old assistant district attorney.  He struck up a conversation, Corfman and her mother say, and offered to watch the girl while her mother went inside for a child custody hearing…Alone with Corfman, Moore chatted with her and asked for her phone number…days later…he picked her up around the corner from her house in Gadsden, drove her about 30 minutes to his home in the woods, told her how pretty she was and kissed her.  On a second visit, she says, he took off her shirt and pants and removed his clothes.  He touched her over her bra and underpants, she says, and guided her hand to touch him over his underwear…Corfman says she asked Moore to take her home, and he did.  Two of Corfman’s childhood friends say she told them at the time that she was seeing an older man, and one says Corfman identified the man as Moore…three other women interviewed by The Washington Post in recent weeks say Moore pursued them when they were between the ages of 16 and 18 and he was in his early 30s…None of the women say that Moore forced them into any sort of…sexual contact…

Drawing Lines 

Nope, this isn’t sex work, no sirree:

You want your lonely child to, say, have a “father”.  Or maybe you just want to go out on some dates with someone nice, someone safe…you want someone to care, or at least act like they do.  You think it would be easier — cleaner — to pay someone than to…find someone [to perform that emotional labor for free]…So, you go online and hire someone like Ishii Yuichi, owner of Family Romance in Japan, to play that role…The Atlantic interviewed Yuichi who shares what it’s like to be that for-hire “loved one”…

A Moral Cancer (#566)

The crypto-moralists have been relatively quiet for a while:

…the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO)…estimat[es] “3.5 percent of all cancer deaths are attributable to drinking alcohol” in the United States…In comparison, smoking tobacco is estimated to cause 32 percent of all cancer deaths…The group treats consuming alcohol as a pure public health problem to which the only solutions are various forms of prohibition.  They recommend regulating alcohol outlet density; increasing alcohol taxes and prices; maintaining limits on days and hours of sale…and resisting further privatization of retail alcohol sales in communities with current government control…

The Public Morals

Though I’m always happy to see cops imprisoned, it’s disturbing that this guy faces a longer sentence for texting than others face for rape, mayhem and murder:

Basil O’Kimosh, a [Menominee Tribal] cop in Green Bay, Wisconsin, faces federal charges for exchanging sexually explicit Snapchat messages with a teenage girl he met on Facebook.  If convicted…he…faces 25 years to life in prison…While it’s refreshing to see a cop get held accountable for a change, calling O’Kimosh a threat to community safety seems a bit melodramatic.  No adult…should be sexting with a teenager…but considering the kinds of things that cops in this country frequently get away with—murder, sexual assault, physical abuse, actual sex with minors—the severe concern in this case rings…a bit hollow.  The feds didn’t step in, for instance, when dozens of cops were under investigation for sexting and having sex with an underage girl in Oakland, California.  Or when a Chicago cop was arrested for trafficking a 14-year-old.  Or in the recent case of a Bronx officer arrested for paying to make sex tapes with a minor…but U.S. prosecutors have been big lately on exercising jurisdiction over both social media and sexting, and…this helps suggest the decision to make this a federal matter is based more on opportunism and political agendas than the severity of O’Kimosh’s crime or his threat to the public…

The Eye of the Beholder (#672)

Given that there is no possibility of a child, what exactly is the rationale behind destroying two lives, other than “The ‘authorities’ find this skeevy” or “The law is the law”?

A[n Oklahoma] woman who married her biological mother last year received a 10-year deferred sentence [plus two years of probation] after pleading guilty…to committing incest…Misty Velvet Dawn Spann, 26, was set for a bench trial…but instead pleaded guilty to illegally marrying 44-year-old Patricia Ann Spann, who is identified as Patricia Ann Clayton on their marriage license application…Patricia Span also was once married to her biological son…[she] is also charged with incest [and] is to appear in court in January…

The Sky is Falling! (#779) 

Young women using their natural gifts to graduate without debt is “disgusting”; giving free sex to boorish, penniless young men is “feminism”:

A shameless dating site is encouraging young female students to date older rich “sugar daddies” so they can pay off their student loan…s and earn them some extra pocket money and life experience…A total of five [miniature mobile] billboards are doing a tour of universities in an aim to get 100,000 British students to sign up by the end of the year…A…student, who asked not be named, said: “It’s disgusting. It should be illegal for these perverts to pray [sic] on youngsters like this [because we’re the emotional equivalent of toddlers and have no agency]…me and my friends would never turn to prostitution…it’s exploitative and wrong”…

Soap Opera (#788) 

Reading cops’ masturbatory fantasies of omnipresent “pimps” with magic powers is by turns hilarious and disgusting:

…[Wanking pig Curt Chastain fantasized] “I’ve had (sex trafficking) victims from every high school in Fresno County – and most junior high schools”…Arresting [consenting adults]…is…part of [the fantasy Chastain uses when doing what he calls]…choking…the…snake…“I’d bet every 16-year-old girl in Fresno has received a message that they didn’t know was from a recruiter…They’re recruited while sitting next to their parents in the living room”…As he drives from place to place during the undercover operation, the detective shares his [masturbatory fantasies about] the modern sex trade…

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I used to be able to count on autumn lifting my spirits, but it didn’t really happen last year and it certainly hasn’t this year.  I think the problem is that my natal month and those bordering it have brought too much trauma and stress into my life over the past decade; it was the season when a lot of the big relationship problems with Matt occurred, and the season when a lot of the most difficult passages with Jae fell.  It’s also the month when the Gestapo pull their annual “Operation Cross-Country” mass coordinated pogrom scheme, and last year we had to endure months of slow business due to the quadrennial shitshow.  Though the trafficking hysteria is showing signs of imminent implosion, it’s not gone yet and things will get worse before they get better; last week Eros (the site from which a good half of my own business comes) was raided by the feds, and though it hasn’t been taken down yet the entire demimonde is once again shaken and stressed by the terrorist actions of US “authorities”.  It’s impossible to tell if this will cause yet another slowdown in sex workers’ business, but if it does it will hurt me both financially and psychologically; there are only three things nowadays which pull my head out of the dark crypt it normally inhabits, and one of them is work.  The other two are getting high and spending time with people I love, and it’s best when my waking hours are filled with a combination of all three.  Alas, Lorelei was away at a Doctor Who convention this past weekend, so we didn’t get our normal date night; we’ll have a short visit tomorrow, though, and here’s a pic from last week (she sometimes likes to play with my hair).  And Grace is coming up from Sunset for a couple of days, so that’ll be nice too.  And in the meantime…well, that’s why the gods invented mind-altering substances.

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