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Diary #269

Fosse JaeFor the past week, I’ve been spending most of my waking hours at the hospital with Jae; if you don’t understand why, you should read last week’s diary and Q&A columns.  Since last week, she’s improved steadily but very slowly; she’s now breathing for herself during the day, with the respirator serving only as a safeguard.  On Sunday, I asked the nurse to stop giving her one drug that seemed to be giving her nightmares when the dose was high and severe disorientation even when it was low; the results were very positive, and she woke up several times and interacted with me for several minutes each time.  She smiled at me, squeezed my hand, looked at the faces of the nurses and therapists when I introduced them and nodded her head at them; it was obvious she was lucid and aware of her surroundings.  Every day I make sure to let her know what day it is and how long it’s been since the accident, and I’m keeping a journal of all the important events so she can read what happened while she was in Sleeping Beauty mode.  I also plan to show her the Twitter timeline from these weeks so she can see all the love and support she received; if you would like her to see your message, just tweet to @BOBCATGIRL  and she will see it then.  If you can afford to send a donation for her support after hospital, please visit her GoFundMe site; Mistress Matisse will be posting updates about her condition there, and I’ll be doing the same here every Tuesday.  If you follow me on Twitter, you may have also noticed I’m doing short videos via Periscope; even if you don’t have that app, you can watch the videos every day to get the latest update on how she’s doing.  As for how I’m doing, since many of y’all have asked: I’m OK, under the circumstances.  Obviously it’s pretty overwhelming, but I have the best circle of friends in the world and I do pretty well in crises, so no worries.  Thanks to some of those friends I have very inexpensive lodging in a house just about a mile from the hospital; I plan to start walking it today so I don’t get dumpy through lack of exercise. And the less money I spend to support myself here, the more there will be for Jae when she gets home.

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Meeting Maggie

I understand that you’ve gone back to full-time sex work, but I don’t see anything on your site that explains how I can arrange to see you, what your rates are, etc.  Where can I find that?

corset backThere are a number of reasons why I’m not directly linking any of that information on this site, and all of them have to do with the stupid, prudish attitudes our society holds toward sex work.  If I were a doctor, lawyer or other professional, nobody would bat an eyelash if I were to link my professional site to my blog.  But because my business involves touching people on parts of their bodies the witch doctors have deemed taboo, I am placed under restrictions that massage therapists, manicurists and hairdressers need not concern themselves with.  I’m not sure how WordPress would feel about a direct link, but I know damned well PayPal would blow a gasket if they thought I was using my account to process “donations” in the euphemistic sense rather than the donations I need to keep this blog going, and right now the business is not yet good enough to support the activism without keeping the streams separate.  However, it isn’t difficult to find my escort site if you can look at a picture and spell my name, and there you can find all the usual info about rates, availability and all that jazz.  I don’t think it will be any harm if I tell you the email address I’m using for professional contact, though, so click here if you want that.  Please don’t use that email address for personal or activism-related contact, or just to say “hi”; it’s strictly for inquiries regarding seeing me in person, as the name of the address implies.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

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0803150915aIt’s hard to believe that I’ve been back at the ranch for almost a week now, but it’s true; I arrived last Wednesday.  But don’t think that means I’ve been relaxing; in fact, I’ve been doing anything but.  Even in the car I was busy; on the drive to Wichita last Tuesday I was giving an interview to Colleen Curry of Vice, then Wednesday I did the same thing between Wichita and Oklahoma City with Hilary Hanson of the Huffington Post.  Both of those interviews were on the subject of Tom Dart’s anti-Backpage crusade, but there were at least two other big stories in recent weeks:  a serial killer was himself killed by a sex worker named Heather, and Amnesty International is about to vote on finally coming out in favor of decriminalization (prompting uproar from empty-headed Hollywood types who claim that supporting police violence against women is “feminist”).  On Sunday, I talked to Eric Barry of the Full Disclosure podcast  about the latter subject; that episode will be out today.  And between all those things I also met with several clients, spent some time with Jae before she and Grace left for the Sturgis motorcycle rally yesterday morning, tried to catch up on my work and correspondence, did some bookkeeping and otherwise kept myself occupied.  I’ve also reached the stage where even if I’m not working, my blog still is; it’s becoming a common occurrence for me to open up an article (like this one in Think Progress) and discover a link to one of my previous essays.  That’s exactly what I want; as my work spreads through the internet, it will act as an acid on the supports of prohibitionist mythology, hastening the day when the whole jury-rigged structure collapses.

On a slightly more mundane subject:  I’m leaving to return to Seattle a week from tomorrow (the 12th), planning to spend the first night in Denver and the second in Idaho.  But I have as yet made no reservations, so if you’d like to see me en route please let me know ASAP and I may be able to modify my course to accommodate you.

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Back Issue: July 2012

Just because there are presents under your tree does NOT mean they were left there by Santa Claus.  – “Half-Armed

radical militant librarianIt’s strange how much more recent these essays seem to me than those from 2010 did when I first started this feature, even though they were separated by exactly the same interval.  I think this is because my outlook on much of my subject matter grew at the same speed as my writing ability, so that these essays seem more recognizable to me than those written before I had grown in both ability and understanding.  Indeed, many of these strike me as “Wow, that was three years ago?” when I encounter them, and after July even the weekly format of the blog looked remarkably similar to the way it looked in its steadiest period, 2013 to 2014.  This is due in large part to my guest appearance on Radley Balko‘s old blog, The Agitator; every Sunday of that month I summarized my work and that of the other guest bloggers, including the links I and others collected in continuation of Radley’s tradition.  And when the guest-blogging gig was over, the Sunday links continued on.  A few months later I began my two-year guest bloggingamoeba run on Cliterati and began reprinting my essays from there on Fridays; the only other change from July 2012 to the following January was changing Q & A from a monthly feature to a weekly one, and I was already doing supplemental columns such as “Sexual Healing” and “More Mentoring“.

Kit Kat PedobearOf course, some traditions had persisted since the beginning; this month’s harlotography was “Polly Adler” and its fictional interlude “Empathy“; I published a sequel to the latter just two weeks ago.  Other traditions include my annual Fourth of July  polemic, my observance of this blog’s anniversary and my Friday the Thirteenth  essay, not to mention a post in a short-lived genre, “My Favorite Musicals“.  And though the “One Year Ago Today” feature was incorporated into the weekly TW3 column after the 9th of this month, “Bogeymen” was definitely a sequel to the column of two years before that day.

Big Kahuna BurgerI think history will show 2012 as the peak year of “sex trafficking” hysteria; “The Widening Gyre“,  “South of the Border“, “I Swear To God” and “Gingerbread House” are all on the subject, and the ever-increasing boldness of prohibitionist shills (as chronicled in “Half-Armed” and “Heart of Ice“) attests to it.  But this month also saw the exposure of one of those shills, Stella Marr, as described in “Tangled Web” and is follow-up, “A Different View“.  But even then, we had time for other subjects; “Under Duress” is about the practice called “testilying”; “The Tyranny of the Subjunctive” criticizes the fear-dominated modern outlook; “The Golden Afternoon” describes the birth of the world’s greatest children’s book; “Pull the String!” describes the birth of some of the world’s worst movies; and “Zimbabwe” describes some of the world’s silliest beliefs and stories about sex workers.Ay Pledgli

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burgundy chairA lot of things have changed in my life in the past year or so, and foremost among them is the abandonment of anonymity.  Of course, my legal name isn’t known, but then that brings up absolutely nothing interesting on Google anyway (unless you get a secret thrill from perusing the public land records of largely-rural counties).  But as Maggie McNeill I’m known and recognized, occasionally even in public, so it was really a bit naive to think I’d be able to maintain a separate escort persona for very long.  I therefore recently decided (with the help of several sex worker activist friends) to abandon that second persona and just do everything – speaking, writing and whoring – as Maggie McNeill.  My website logos, text and url have been changed, and I’m in the process of switching all my advertising accounts to “Maggie McNeill”.  I’ve built up quite a reputation over the past five years, and it seems silly not to use it to attract clients; I’d rather monetize my work in that way, indirectly, rather than by polluting this website with a bunch of ugly blinking, flashing, jumping, wriggling banner ads offering “free” sex with “horny housewives” and “barely legal nymphos”.  In these times of aggressive “end demand” pogroms, that reputation may prove a vital lifeline to nervous clients; when a gentleman calls me there will be no doubt in his mind that I’m the real deal rather than a honey trap, and a referral from me should be good with the majority of escorts in any English-speaking country.  Of course, my high-profile name may also attract unwanted attention of the dangerous kind, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take; I’m sure you’ll understand if I’m especially diligent with my screening now.  It’s also true that some potential clients will be turned off by many of the opinions and truths I’ve expressed here; frankly, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone that insecure anyhow.  So drop me a line, guys; little Maggie’s back in the saddle again, and this time she ain’t even wearin’ a mask.

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Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.  –  Emmet Fox

I find it very difficult to wrap my brain around the thought processes of some people.  As we go through life we interact with others, and make hundreds of decisions every day regarding those interactions; sometimes we make errors in judgment due to ignorance of a situation, or misinterpret another’s feelings and thereby inadvertently cause offense, or foolishly believe a person will react one way when a little insight into his or her personality would’ve predicted a very different reaction (this is especially true when the people involved are of the opposite sex).  But every once in a while someone does something so clearly wrong, so obviously rude and so predictably off-putting that one has to wonder if he might not have been under the influence of some potent psychoactive drug at the time.

too many cooksMost of my readers are probably fair-to-middling cooks; some of you are probably bad or terrible cooks, and some good or excellent ones (any of you who happen to be professional chefs will have to imagine another skill, say illustration, in the place of cooking).  Now, consider a circumstance wherein you meet a woman who’s an excellent cook.  She has a small restaurant where she has served literally millions of satisfied customers over the years, and is often paid to cater at events; she is widely admired for her cooking skills, has often been asked (and even paid) to critique others’ cooking, and takes justifiable pride in her abilities.  Her style, however, does not adhere to current culinary fads; it’s a little old-fashioned and is too complex and highly-spiced for some people, and some dieters feel her portions are too large.  Perhaps you’ve encountered her restaurant for the first time, or perhaps you’ve been eating there several times a week for months or years, but at some point you decide that either her preparation of one particular dish, or the way she prepared that dish on one particular day, or even the way she cooks in general, could be improved by some change you have in mind.  Now, you don’t own a restaurant; nobody has particularly praised your cooking lately, and even the cooking you do practice is of a different culinary tradition.  Do you:

A) Continue to enjoy her food, which really is very good despite the aspect you don’t like;
B) Enjoy the food, but fantasize about how much better it would be if she took your suggestions;
C) Stop going there, and find another restaurant you like better;
D) Ask to speak to her privately and offer your helpful amateur suggestions about how she could improve;
E) Same as D, but at the top of your lungs in front of a packed dining room at her restaurant.

If any of you seriously believe that either D or E is a good idea, and you’ve never been diagnosed as lying somewhere on the autism spectrum, I sincerely suggest you re-examine all of the recent instances in which you’ve mightily pissed someone off and just can’t understand why she should have been insulted.  What could possibly be wrong with her?  Doesn’t she get that you were just trying to be helpful?  Why can’t she humbly accept your wisdom in order to improve herself?  Why are all women so crazy?

And after that, you might want to reconsider that helpful email, comment or tweet you’re about to write me.

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Diary #263

IMAG0900There have been a lot of top-notch activists visiting Seattle lately!  The first week of the month Maxine Doogan was here; we didn’t get as much time to hang out with one another as I would’ve liked, but we did get two short visits (the first time we’ve met in person).  She talked about ESPLERP’s lawsuit to decriminalize prostitution in California, and a few other things that are going on; I’m looking forward to the next time I can sit down with her, though of course there’s email and phone until then.  Almost as soon as she was gone, Tara Burns arrived; Mistress Matisse and I took turns lodging her, and we spent a lot of time together (when one or the other of us wasn’t occupied).  Given that in addition to that I had work, writing and helping someone near and dear to move this week, you can probably guess I was pretty exhausted by Sunday night; between 9 AM Thursday and 3 AM Monday I got roughly 12 hours of sleep altogether (though part of that was a small but lovely party).  And given that the week was so hectic, I guess it’s not really a huge surprise that nobody thought of taking pictures of Tara, Matisse & I together.  Well, next time; she’s promised not to be a stranger and this is the closest major lower-48 city to her home in Alaska.  In the meantime, enjoy this pic she took of me modeling some lovely gloves Abby May gave me.  This week promises to be nearly as hectic; our show is Sunday and Kaytlin Bailey will be staying with me, then the following week I’ll be preparing for my trip to Oklahoma.  If you’d like to see me while I’m on the road, please let me know ASAP; I’m departing on the 24th so everything needs to be planned by then.

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