Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

Exit, stage left!  –  Snagglepuss

Every so often Pandora gives me a gift by introducing me to a delight I didn’t know existed, and a few days ago this one popped up on my Beatles station (yes, I have a Beatles Pandora station; shut up).  It’s the title track from Ringo’s most recent (March 2015) studio album, Postcards from Paradise, and its lyrics largely consist of the titles of Beatles songs.  If you’re not a Beatles fan you probably won’t like it, but I am so I do.  Yes, I’m old; I know it’s easy to forget that since I look hotter than any two chicks half my age.  Anyhow, the links above it are from Jesse WalkerTim CushingMistress Matisse, Tim Cushing again, PopehatElizabeth N. Brown, and Ricardo  Cortés, in that order.

From the Archives

Read Full Post »

It’s been a long time since I did a hooker songs column, so I decided it was time to rectify that!  Actually, the immediate inspiration was that one of my earliest whore anthems (actually one of my party pieces during my early whoring days at university) came on my Pandora the other day, and I realized I had never featured it!  So without further ado:

Material Girl  (Peter Brown/Robert Rans)

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they’re ok
If they don’t give me proper credit
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light (that’s right)
‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right

(refrain) ‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
That’s all right with me
If they can’t raise my interest then I
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but
I don’t let them play (no way)
Only boys who save their pennies
Make my rainy day

(refrain)

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Living in a material world (material)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (material)
Living in a material world

Boys may come and boys may go
And that’s all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now they’re after me

‘Cause everybody’s living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

A material, a material, a material, a material world

Living in a material world (material)
Living in a material world
[repeat and fade]

It’s always annoyed me that the video undercuts the message of the song, but that wasn’t unusual at the time (and still probably isn’t, though I rarely watch videos any more).  While this one is pretty overt, the next one seems to slip under most people’s radar:

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Elton John & Bernie Taupin)

When are you gonna come down
When are you going to land
I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my old man

You know you can’t hold me forever
I didn’t sign up with you
I’m not a present for your friends to open
This boy’s too young to be singing the blues

(refrain) So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can’t plant me in your penthouse
I’m going back to my plough
Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I’ve finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

What do you think you’ll do then
I bet that’ll shoot down the plane
It’ll take you a couple of vodka and tonics
To set you on your feet again

Maybe you’ll get a replacement
There’s plenty like me to be found
Mongrels who ain’t got a penny
Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground

(refrain)

The narrator is clearly a kept boy who has decided he doesn’t like that life and is saying goodbye to his patron to head back to his rural origins.  Actually, Elton has recorded a number of sex work songs; on the very same album, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, appears this one (which is much more graphic):

Sweet Painted Lady (Elton John & Bernie Taupin)

I’m back on dry land once again
Opportunity awaits me like a rat in the drain
We’re all hunting honey with money to burn
Just a short time to show you the tricks that we’ve learned

If the boys all behave themselves here
Well, there’s pretty young ladies and beer in the rear
You won’t need a gutter to sleep in tonight
Oh, the prices I charge here will see you alright

So, she lays down beside me again
My sweet painted lady, the one with no name
Many have used her and many still do
There’s a place in the world for a woman like you

(refrain) Oh, sweet painted lady
Seems it’s always been the same
Getting paid for being laid
Guess that’s the name of the game

(refrain)

Forget us we’ll have gone very soon
Just forget we ever slept in your rooms
And we’ll leave the smell of the sea in your beds
Where love’s just a job and nothing is said

So she lays down beside me again
My sweet painted lady, the one with no name
Many have used her and many still do
There’s a place in the world for a woman like you

(refrain)
(refrain)

And then there’s this one from Rock of the Westies:

Island Girl (Elton John & Bernie Taupin)

I see your teeth flash, Jamaican honey so sweet
Down where Lexington cross 47th Street
Oh she’s a big girl, she’s standing six-foot three
Turning tricks for the dudes in the big city

(refrain) Island girl
What you wanting with the white man’s world?
Island girl
Black boy want you in his island world

He want to take you from the racket boss
He want to save you, but the cause is lost
Island girl, island girl, island girl
Tell me what you wanting with the white man’s world

Well she’s black as coal, but she burn like a fire
And she wrap herself around you like a well-worn tire
You feel her nail scratch your back just like a rake, oh oh
He one more gone, he one more John who make the mistake

(refrain)

He want to take you from the racket boss
He want to save you, but the cause is lost
Island girl, island girl, island girl
Tell me what you wanting with the white man’s world

(refrain)

He want to take you from the racket boss
He want to save you, but the cause is lost
Island girl, island girl, island girl
Tell me what you wanting with the white man’s
Tell me what you wanting with the white man’s
Tell me what you wanting with the white man’s

Long-time readers will recognize the familiar theme of the young man in love with a sex worker who thinks he’s going to “rescue” her and can’t understand why she isn’t interested.  But Bernie Taupin threw a sly little twist into this one; by making her so incredibly tall, it’s pretty obvious the implication is that she’s a transwoman.  But while Elton wasn’t quite ready to broach that subject openly in the 1970s, Lou Reed certainly was:

Walk on the Wild Side (Lou Reed)

Holly came from Miami F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A.
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side,
Said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side.

Candy came from out on the island,
In the backroom she was everybody’s darling,
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head
She said, hey baby, take a walk on the wild side
Said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side

(refrain) And the colored girls go,
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Little Joe never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City is the place where they said:
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said hey Joe, take a walk on the wild side

Sugar Plum Fairy came and hit the streets
Lookin’ for soul food and a place to eat
Went to the Apollo
You should have seen him go, go, go
They said, hey Sugar, take a walk on the wild side
I said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side, alright, huh

Jackie is just speeding away
Thought she was James Dean for a day
Then I guess she had to crash
Valium would have helped that bash
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side

(refrain)

Read Full Post »

Says he’s got a thing about burnin’ witches
Ooh, some of these were mighty fine bitches.
– Carl Douglas

Some of you may remember the catchy 1974 hit “Kung Fu Fighting” by Carl Douglas, who was apparently a movie fan because he also wrote & recorded “Witchfinder General”, inspired by the Vincent Price film about Matthew Hopkins.  The video was called to my attention by Jesse Walker, who also provided “cities”; the other links above the video are from Scott GreenfieldTim Cushing (x2),  ClarissaSkye, and Dave Krueger, in that order.

From the Archives

Read Full Post »

It’s sending a message that there is no accountability for what you have done.  –  cop spokesman Martin Halloran, on forgiveness

I’m not a fan of either death metal or avante-garde music, but there’s something strangely intriguing about this cover of John Cage’s “4’33″” by the band Dead Territory, provided by Jesse Walker.  The links above it are from Tim Cushing  (“protect”, “fantasy” and “justice”), Ed Krayewski (“whatsoever”), Amy Alkon  (“isolation”), Mike Siegel (“step”), and Mistress Matisse (“goats”).

From the Archives

Read Full Post »

I don’t have time to play this constitutional bullshit.  –  unnamed DC cop

What the fuck, 2016?  How many great songwriters are you going to take?  David Bowie, Prince, Merle Haggard and now Leonard Cohen?  No, don’t fucking answer that; I’m hoping you’ll get distracted for the next 7 weeks and forget to take any more.  Anyhow, the links above the video were contributed by Scott Greenfield  (“protect”, “hindrance” and “agency”), Jesse Walker (“democracy”), Laura Lee  (“necessity”), and Tushy Galore (“together”).

From the Archives

Read Full Post »

Because drug traffickers have been seen breathing, then breathing is an indicia of drug trafficking.  –  Justices Quinn, Campbell & Pirtle

There’s nothing “banned” about this Betty Boop Halloween cartoon from 1933; presumably, the label refers to the fact that once the Hays Code started being enforced the next year, Betty was given much less sexy clothes.  The links above it were contributed by Scott Greenfield (“more”), Brooke Magnanti (“Lovecraft”), Tim Cushing (“idiots” and “posters”), Nun Ya (“attention”), Inspireland (“Because”), and Grace (“whatsoever”).

From the Archives

Read Full Post »

Diary #328

selfie-10-4-16On Monday of last week I had another beauty treatment, then went out of town on a 2-day gig from Tuesday to Thursday.  This in itself wouldn’t be especially noteworthy except for the fact that it seems like every time I’m out of communications range for more than a few hours, some kind of big disaster happens (in this case, the raid on Backpage) that I then have to stay up late struggling to catch up with.  It’s almost as if the universe were trying to tell me something (in which case I apologize in advance for the category 5 shitstorm which will no doubt ensue the day after I croak).  Fortunately, I had something on Friday evening to take my mind off of things: a lovely and generous gentleman took Jae, Vignette, Lorelei and me to see a local production of Man of La Mancha, which happens to be among my favorite musicals (the irony was not lost on him, and I daresay he enjoyed our company more than the show).  And while we were in the lobby, Lorelei spotted a poster for an upcoming show that she says we simply must see together; I’m really enjoying having a musical-theater-viewing pal, and we’re working on a list to share (“You haven’t seen such-and-such?” she says.  “Oh, I’m sure you’d like thingamajiggy” I reply.)  We’ll try to take as many selfies as possible in the process, though we somehow forgot to get one on Friday (a damned shame given that we all looked spectacular, if I must say so myself).  So here’s one I took on the immensely boring three-hour wifi-less ferry ride Tuesday evening instead.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »