The Actual Cost

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
It gives a lovely light!  –  Edna St. Vincent Millay

I think I’ve said before, somewhere in this massive edifice of words, that I really hate it when other women respond to the realization that I have the figure I have without special dieting or exercising every day with “I wish I had your metabolism”.  I used to simply reply with “thank you” or a Southern belle “I guess I’m just blessed that way”, but I’ve grown so weary of the hidden bile in such statements that I now reply with a cutting glance and a darkly-intoned, “You wouldn’t want what goes with it.”

Engineers, scientists and medical professionals understand what most people don’t: that every dynamic system (such as a human body) exists in a state of homeostasis, and that a gain in one part of the system can only be achieved by shorting another part of the system.  Squeeze the balloon in the middle and the ends will enlarge at the expense of that middle, not to mention putting considerable pressure on the structural cohesion of the plastic if one squeezes hard enough.  Burn the candle at both ends?  Twice the light, but half the life.  Yes, I have a great metabolism…and it’s so finely-balanced that I become completely non-functional if anything knocks it out of that balance.  You know how most people can push themselves to go without sleep if necessary?  If I try that, when I get to about the 20-hour mark I get dizzy, start shivering and vomiting (sometimes accompanied by diarrhea and/or hives) and then literally pass out.  Some of my friends can walk around in public while high; I have to crawl to make it to the bathroom.  And on the rare occasions when I succumb to some illness, it generally manifests as 24 to 48 hours of dizziness, vomiting, chills, weakness so profound I can barely move, and fever so high that those attending me (if they can handle all the screaming at them to shut up, go away and turn off every light in the house) get frightened.  And that uncannily-high pain threshold some people envy?  It’s because sensations below the “imminent threat of maiming” level just don’t register on my hyperactive nervous system.  Consider what that does to my ability to sense pleasure, then tell me you still wish you had my physiology.

And while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about that hyperactive nervous system.  On the good side: extremely high intelligence, quick wit, lightning-fast reflexes, and hyper-awareness.  On the bad side: debilitating vertigo, OCD, ADD, insomnia and anxiety (the latter three all aggravated by long summer days).  That prolificity and vocabulary envied by other writers?  Paid for by a nigh-complete inability to shut up (ask my long-suffering friends how literal this is) unless I’m deeply drugged or unconscious.  And that superhuman memory of mine, the one everybody thinks is so bloody wonderful because I can pull up facts faster than Google and order them in a way no machine yet built can manage?  While the joy of good things fades with the neurochemical changes generated by those experiences, the emotional damage done by the bad ones remains and never completely heals, if it heals at all.  It has been said that no woman would ever have more than one baby if she could actually remember how it felt to have the first one; if that’s true it’s probably best I couldn’t have children, because I remember pain – whether physical or emotional – every bit as vividly as I remember facts.  Every laceration and every rejection; every broken bone, and every broken heart.

I’m not saying I would have it any other way; I am who I am and what I am, and it’s all I know.  What I’m saying is, when you look at someone else’s life and human condition, please apply at least as much thought as you apply when shopping for a new piece of technology, and consider the actual cost of what’s in front of you.

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Summoning Spell

In folklore, fantasy literature and occult thought, it’s possible to conjure beings from spiritual realms or other planes of existence or whatever to appear before one by various means, usually some sort of spell.  In the case of truly powerful and malevolent entities, it might be as simple as saying the being’s name (hence the phrase “speak of the Devil”), but usually there are conditions that have to be met – a sacrifice or some such – in order for the invocation to work.  Well, I’m neither an angel nor a succubus, but in response to a number of requests over the past couple of weeks I’m going to provide you with a not-so-mystic formula which will enable you to summon me to your city.  Normally, the process would involve contacting me via email, offering me a booking or bookings totaling up to the round-trip travel time to wherever it is, and then paying a deposit on that time; for example, it’s a four-hour flight each way to Chicago, so I’d need eight hours of work to justify travel.

Now, I recognize that a booking that long might be outside of the budget of many of you, but while I’m hawking my new book, The Forms of Things Unknown, I have an alternative means of summoning me anywhere in the US (and maybe other countries later, but we’ll talk about that when it materializes).  All you need to do is this:  contact a local bookstore or bookstores to find out if they’d like me to do a reading, and how much advance notice they need.  Then figure out a venue for me to do some kind of talk – for a university, a women’s group, a sex worker rights or libertarian group, etc – and talk to whoever you need to get a general idea of how to set that up.  Then contact me so we can agree on some tentative dates, and set up the events firmly.  Finally, arrange for a place for me to stay while in your city…and poof, I’ll magically fly through the air on the appointed day and appear at the events you’ve set up, and you can book a normal-length appointment for me instead of having to shell out for a long one.  I know this may seem like a lot of work, but am I not worth it?  Some folks in Chicago evidently thought so, because I’m heading there Wednesday; I’ve also spoken to sponsors in Washington DC and Tampa, Florida.  What have you got to lose?  Make a few phone calls at no cost to yourself, exercise your planning skills and summon the Whore of Babylon without all that seal-breaking and goat-sacrificing rigmarole.  You’ll be glad you did.

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In the News (#738)

In efforts to catch imagined “pimps”…officials have long considered the liberty and rights of…sex workers (and their customers) to be an acceptable sacrifice.  The rest of us were really never far behind.  –  Elizabeth Nolan Brown

Moloch 

How many kids need to be sacrificed to this obscenity before it’s enough?

South Carolina can continue to require…teens convicted of…sex crimes to appear on the state’s public sex-offender registry and wear an electronic monitor for the rest of their lives, the state Supreme Court ruled…A boy…who was 15 when he sexually assaulted a 5-year-old boy…challenged the law…The teen’s lawyer said being publicly branded a sex offender and electronically monitored for the rest of his life is too harsh a punishment, citing the U.S. Supreme Court’s ban on the death penalty for anyone under age 18.  The justices, however, said the Legislature was well within its power to pass a law that treats juveniles and adults differently in criminal punishment, but establishes the same requirements for the registry [due to the pretense that it isn’t a punishment]…

No Friend of Ours

Nevada has caught up with Washington, Arizona & Florida as one of the most vile, loathsome fonts of anti-whore vomit in the US:

Reno Public Radio’s Noah Glick spoke with Crysta Price, one of the [fabulists who created yet another bogus] study…[they actually represent themselves as] data scientists [though they’re not dealing in actual data and instead just vomit out a lot of lies & “end demand” filth.  Price pretends that]…Reno is in the top 6.5 percent, in terms of the per-capital [sic] number of individuals that are advertised for sex.  And then Nevada itself is the number one state…if you have the same amount [sic] of demands, you’ll just see those individuals replaced with trafficked individuals…demand…is often the result of a lot of males with expendable income…where it’s in an entertainment-like experience, that can often filter them into purchasing sex in the commercial sex industry…

“Per capital”?  “Entertainment-like experience”?  “Filter them into purchasing sex”?  Is this woman for real, or is she some sort of Marxist clown robot railing against “expendable income”?  Perhaps she thinks the almighty state should “protect” these vegetable-like “trafficked individuals” by stealing all that extra income & giving it to creatures like her?

New Excuse

For over three years now, I’ve been saying that the War on Whores is the new War on Drugs.  And here’s a perfect example of that:

In the high days of America’s militarized war on drugs, baseless and botched home raids have become a defining feature—with often disastrous consequences.  Now we’re seeing the same sort of overzealous enforcement efforts in the fight against…prostitution.  This week, Detroit police raided an innocent family’s home after receiving a [bogus] sex-trafficking tip and then seeing two teens enter the house.  One of the teens was the family’s 13-year-old daughter, who…wound up face-down and handcuffed on the floor, along with the rest of her family, after cops cut through a locked gate…and entered with their guns drawn…Maria Navarete [reported that] police told her to “shut up, you have no rights” when she asked what was happening…Police apologized, [pretending] that a mysterious heroin-addicted woman in a local hospital said she and several underage girls had been held against their will and forced into prostitution…[at] the Navarete’s place…

Business As Usual 

Why does it surprise people when cops fight for what they imagine to be their “right” to rape sex workers?

The Anchorage Police Department is fighting a pair of state bills that would criminalize cops who have “sexual contact” with people under investigation.  The reason for the opposition, according to Deputy Chief Sean Case, is that…such a law would allow sex workers to avoid arrest, since it provides them with a way to check if a potential client is a cop…“If we make that act (of touching) a misdemeanor we have absolutely no way of getting involved in that type of arrest”…Case [pretends] the department isn’t interested in making arrests for sex work in general and is instead focused on sex trafficking…which raises the question of [why] police are…advocating for the need to have “sexual contact” with trafficking victims…The bills at issue are the result of activism by…Community United for Safety and Protection (CUSP), which [explains] that sex workers in [every] state [are routinely] subjected to sexual abuse by police during undercover busts…Initially, it seemed that the bills would have no trouble passing.  “Police and prosecutors [lied] that police never engage in sexual conduct during stings anyways”…said [Tara Burns].  “Then right as the bill was about to be heard they changed their story and now claim that they need to engage in sexual conduct with sex trafficking victims in order to rescue them”…sex worker advocates say that every state needs bills like those proposed in Alaska that expressly define “sexual contact” with sex workers during investigations as sexual abuse.  That said, these laws only go so far…As Maggie McNeill…told Vocativ, “No matter what the law says, cops will keep raping sex workers, either in stings or outside of them, for as long as our profession is criminalized because they know damned well there’s nothing we can do about it.”

The Public Eye (#617)

Once again, Caroline McLeod handled this interview like a champ; and once again, the “journalists” sullied her words by surrounding them with prohibitionist lies.  I’m not even going to bother quoting this dreary mess, which includes the usual anti-sex vomit from the usual sex-hating liars.

To Molest and Rape 

Arkansas lets dangerous, violent rapist walk free; guess his profession:

…[Rapist cop] Robert G. Retford pleaded guilty to a charge of 3rd degree sexual assault.  He was sentenced to 6 years probation…Retford’s victim…asked to be identified and wants everyone to know what…that [rapist cop] did to her…During the second week of September 2016…two Johnson County deputies showed up at her home for a domestic dispute…Retford offered to take her away from the situation…he…assaulted her with…his police baton.  Then…raped her and urinated on her.  “After that he made me drink his urine,” Shanna said…”I think he’s scary, it scares me just talking about him…he should be in jail locked up and I don’t feel other women and girls out there are safe”…

The Widening Gyre (#663)

More racist infantilization of Nigerian sex workers in Italy:

…For most of these women, sex work is…slave labour, enforced by vicious gang leaders who threaten the women with physical violence and deportation if they refuse to comply…Father Vincenzo (Enzo) Volpe…the Sicilian priest who works with Sister Valeria to protect the women and offer them hope for a new life, estimates there are some 500 Nigerians working against their will on the streets and in the brothels.  That’s [an impossibly] big number for a city with a population of only 1.3 million [but fetishists believe it anyway]…tens of thousands of Nigerian sex slaves have poured into Italy and more are arriving almost every day in rickety boats dispatched from the Libyan coast, seeking a better life in Europe…

Pyrrhic Victory (#677)

Seattle cops aren’t the only ones with a fetish for creepy surveillance:

…After Geofeedia’s highly publicized PR disaster, in which Chicago Police were found to have used the social media surveillance platform to track racial justice protests and gatherings, the social media monitoring company saw Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram cut off its data streams…A company called Babel Street [is letting violent busybodies get around that]…Seattle PD are one of many users of Babel Street software, and are soon to be joined by the US Secret Service…the FBI is also using Babel Street programs…Babel Street also seems to be making a substantial push into the private market…[mostly] sports stadiums and entertainment venues…Babel X has access to over 25 social media sites, including Facebook, Instagram, and to Twitter’s firehose…Babel X can also surveil millions of URL’s including the deep web.  The software can instantly translate over 200 languages, and can set up geo-fences around areas of special interest, and has highly customizable filtering options including for hashtags, emojis, handles, names…keywords….numerical sequences like credit card or social security numbers…dates, times, data type, language, and—interestingly enough—sentiment…

“Filter for sentiment”.  Let that sink in, and remember that when I started this heading five years ago some people claimed I was exaggerating.

Policing for Profit (#687) 

Once in a very great while, the bad guys still lose:

James Slatic was never charged with a crime, but it took 15 months and a twisting legal battle before three different judges for him to get back the more than $100,000 the San Diego District Attorney’s Office seized from him and his family—including his daughters’ college savings accounts.  On [May 5th] a California superior court judge [finally] ordered the San Diego District Attorney’s Office to return [the money]…it [stole] from the Slatic family following a police raid last January on James Slatics’ medical marijuana company…

Advice for Clients (#704)

A simple primer on interacting with sex workers on Twitter:

Imagine you’re walking through your local mall…and discover a friendly lady…holding out a tray of…whatever…do you stand around engaging her in small talk while she…attempts to work around you?…Do you insist that she let you have a few more since you’ll definitely be a regular customer…Do you offer her unsolicited advice on how to season the food?…

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Social Rate

It’s very easy for a person in any given profession to forget that those outside that profession, or who don’t deal with members of that profession on a regular basis, may not know anything about some aspects which we take for granted.  Lately, a few readers have made comments to me on Twitter which have alerted me to the fact that many of you may not realize that most escorts, myself included, have a “social rate”, a lower hourly rate which applies to dates in which there won’t be any hanky-panky.  In my case it’s $200, half of my “full service” rate; if you just want to take me out to dinner and talk, or pick my brain about a project you’re working on, or have me model nude for you, or anything like that, the social rate applies rather than the full rate.  Best of all, it’s completely legal!  So if you just want to meet me but you’re not comfortable with paying for sex yourself, email me and tell me you’d like a “social date”.  I won’t usually travel for those, so I’m afraid you’ll have to be in Seattle or wait until I visit your area.  However, if that’s not going to happen for you in the foreseeable future, there’s another option:  phone or Google hangouts.  If you want sexy stuff, the social rate applies; however, if you honestly just want to have a nice long video or phone chat with me, the rate is even less: $100 per hour.  I know, it may seem a bit strange to pay just to talk to a strange woman on the phone, but you’d be surprised how many guys who call phone sex lines are really just lonely & looking for conversation with a woman.  The more virulent prohibitionists love to pretend that sex worker rights activists make money from our activism, but that’s one of the most absurd of their many ridiculous lies; not only do we not make money from our activism, we only rarely break even.  And if you consider that time is money, every activist operates at a net loss all the time.  So what I’m really offering you here is another way to support my work and get something for yourself in return; over the next few months I’ll be coming up with several more ways for you to do that.  I’m not a nonprofit corporation, so I’m afraid it isn’t tax deductible; however, it’s a very real contribution to my work, and I figure many of you who read this blog regularly would like to do that.  You don’t even need references, and for the phone date you needn’t even leave your house, so why wait?  Email for your date today, and support important work in the process!

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In the News (#702)

We can’t…afford to waste public safety dollars on a problem that doesn’t exist.  –  Springfeld News-Leader editorial board

Surplus Women 

The two “real” women are named, but sex workers are subhuman so “teen hooker” is good enough:

Khalil Wheeler-Weaver, 20, is under investigation for the slaying of a teenage Philadelphia hooker whose burned body was left inside an abandoned building in Orange, N.J…Wheeler-Weaver…is already accused of strangling two other women: Joanne Browne…and…Sarah Butler…

Imagination Pinned Down

She has “big chunks of…memory gone”.  So she just filled the spaces with blatant lies:

Ontario’s first director of its anti-human-trafficking office brings to the job…first-hand insight, [claiming to have] lived through the experience herself.  “I was trafficked at 13,” Jennifer Richardson says…“I actually…have pretty big chunks of my memory gone…When you think of kids at 13, that’s the perfect stage to offend against children in this way…when you look at the stats worldwide, that’s one of the … stats that stays the same, no matter what country you look at the literature in: 13 1/2 is the average age of entry in every country”…

Obviously, among the missing “chunks” are basic arithmetic skills & the ability to read studies.

The Pygmalion Fallacy (#30) 

Well, at least this new version doesn’t look as ridiculous as the prototype did:

Kissenger is a rubbery-looking dock that humans put their phones in.  It has a tactile surface they depress with their meat.  The movements are then transmitted in realtime over the internet, so that a replica of them may be experienced by another human…There’s an app that goes with it so the humans can interact on a audiovisual-discursive level at the same time…”High precision force sensors are embedded under the silicon lip to measure the dynamic forces at different parts of your lips during a kiss.  The device sends this data to your phone, which transmits it to your partner over the Internet in real time.  Miniature linear actuators are used to reproduce these forces on your partner’s lips, creating a realistic kissing sensation.  Kissenger provides a two-way interaction just like in a real kiss“…

Skin To Skin

There are a large number of valid criticisms of this lawsuit, most especially the fact that it’s pushing for legalization rather than decriminalization.  But every attack on the edifice of criminalization helps to hasten its eventual collapse:

Russell Greer…has Mobius syndrome, which means he can’t move his eyes from side to side or close his lips…He says he suffers from anxiety and depression, and has found intercourse to be healing…His only choice—other than taking Amtrak or a plane to Nevada…is to illegally pay for sex in Salt Lake City…On Oct. 18, 2016, Greer…filed a lawsuit against city, county and state officials…for violating his constitutional rights by upholding laws that make sex work illegal…But in his quest to legalize prostitution in Utah, Greer stumbles into territory regarding sex-worker rights, arguments over decriminalization and language that highlights just how complex, nuanced and fraught the struggle over privacy and sexual rights continues to be, despite recent landmark legal decisions that opened the door to same-sex marriage and polygamy legalization…

Dark Corners

Keep in mind that despite many huge and expensive raids, the UK has never found more than a single-digit number of cases of genuine exploitation; these are actually just immigration raids cloaked under the pretense of “rescue”:

…97 people have been arrested in the U.K. on suspicion of immigration offences after raids on 280 nail bars in London, Cardiff and Edinburgh…the majority of those arrested [are] Vietnamese nationals.  The [pogrom] also [arrested] people of Mongolian, Ghanaian, Chinese, Nigerian, Pakistani and Indian origin….[as] part of a Home Office…campaign named “Operation Magnify”…targeting [migrant-owned businesses] to “root out illegal working”…[using the excuse of so-called] modern slavery…The Home Office stated that victims of trafficking [of which none were found] will be offered support, while “those who have no right to be in the UK will be removed”…

Traffic Circle

Remember how last Monday I predicted public funds for anti-whore hate groups would start to dry up?

State legislators have…started to [fear-monger] about the dangers of human trafficking in Missouri…[but] such cases are incredibly rare in Springfield…We may feel in our gut that there’s more trafficking going on in Springfield than we know about…but we should understand that our instincts don’t equal facts, and…we’re not a community that can afford to waste public safety dollars on a problem that doesn’t exist…

Paint By Numbers (#593)

On the one hand, I’m disappointed that stupid “sex trafficking” stunts are being recycled. On the other hand…well, see for yourself:

Kyle Pipes wore a thin cotton dress with a blue paisley print pattern.  Pipes, a minister at Eastern Hills Bible Church in Manlius [New York went around in drag]…as part of the national Dressember campaign…[while cross-dressing] Pipes [also fantasizes that] there’s over…30 million people enslaved worldwide…

I guess the dress makes it easier for him to reach under & wank to his “sex slave” fantasy whenever he feels the need.

To Molest and Rape

Once again: If you think it matters whether a cop was wearing his magical clown costume when he raped someone, you are part of the problem:

A Texas [cop] was arrested [for]…repeatedly sexually assaulting his girlfriend’s 13-year-old daughter…the mother…discovered that the 13 year old had been texting lewd photos to…Jesus Gonzalez at his request…the girl revealed…that Gonzalez had sex with her more than 20 times between September and mid-December.  Gonzalez told the teen that he wanted to marry her…

“I want to marry you” is an even older line than “I’m going to rescue you”:

A…Vancouver police detective, who in 2015 received a special citation for his work on a sexual exploitation investigation, has been charged with sexual exploitation.  Det. Const. James Fisher was arrested…and faces three counts of sexual exploitation, one count of sexual assault, one count of breach of trust and one count of attempt to obstruct justice…He was the lead investigator in…human trafficking investigation[s]…

It Looks Good On Paper (#677)

This is nothing but a partisan wanking fantasy; what this law actually does is empower the cops to indefinitely detain underage sex workers “for their own protection”:

Beginning on Jan. 1, prostitution by minors will be legal in California…teenage girls (and boys) in California will soon be free to have sex in exchange for money without fear of arrest or prosecution.  This terribly destructive legislation was written and passed by the progressive Democrats who control California’s state government…Immunity from arrest means law enforcement can’t interfere with minors engaging in prostitution — which translates into bigger and better cash flow for the pimps.  Simply put, more time on the street and less time in jail means more money for pimps, and more victims for them to exploit…

One Born Every Minute (#681)

I hope this rapist scum is both bankrupted and imprisoned:

The Washington State Attorney General’s Office…filed a most unusual consumer protection lawsuit — charging a Seattle man with running a scheme for nearly a decade where he set up a fake talent agency for adult entertainers in order to trick women into posing nude and having sex with him.  Michael-Jon Matthew Hickey is accused of creating a fictitious business and using deceptive ads with bogus employment offers to find his victims…Hickey offered and advertised commercial services solely for his “own personal gain” and to “satisfy his sexual desires” with no intention of following through on the promised services to help these women find jobs.  Hickey…is charged with numerous violations of the Washington Consumer Protection Act and the Commercial Electronic Mail Act…In October, Hickey was charged with three counts of rape. He’s currently behind bars in the King County Jail in Seattle…

Checklist (#685)

Ladies, please heed my warning against using Uber unless you actually want to be “rescued” into jail:

A teenage girl is [in jail] after an…Uber driver helped rescue her from a suspected sex trafficking ring.  While he didn’t know it at the time, he was taking a young girl, her pimp and another person to a job.  But when they started openly discussing their plans in the car, the driver knew he had to [rat them out to the pigs]…Kevin Avila…picked up three female passengers…“I saw her legs are really long and she was a really young girl,” he said…The conversation turned to the how-tos of solicitation…Avila dropped off his passengers, then called police…He listened in depth and…even know what room they were going to…

Add to our list of “signs of sex trafficking”:  having long legs.  It’s a wonder I’m not “rescued” every time I leave the house.

An Example to the West (#698) 

Can you imagine American feminists criticizing a cop’s anti-whore fantasies?

Vishwas Nangre-Patil…has always been known for being progressive…Which is why his patriarchal misogyny at a recent press conference…came as a shocker [to people who don’t understand what progressivism actually is].  Announcing a crackdown operation against sex workers he wanted to know why they can’t work hard.  “They should be [forced] to make and sell pickles and papads instead of their bodies,” he [bloviated]…An activist [responded]…“Will he be able to match the corporate markets that sell papads and pickles?  And we are not even talking about matching a sex worker’s daily income here.”  All ears sir for your response.  Hopefully you’ll give the patriarchal conservatism a rest…

Power Play (#701)

The author of this article believes in a lot of the “sex trafficking” mythology, but seems to basically understand that going after websites is asinine:

…California Attorney General Kamala Harris filed new criminal charges against Backpage.com [officials]…after a Sacramento judge tossed out earlier pimping charges…While most advertisements posted in the “Escorts” section on Backpage.com likely come from [sex workers, fetishists pretend many]…sex traffickers…are posting others…If Backpage.com closes, the commercial sex advertisements will most likely be displaced to an alternative online platform…this crusade against Backpage.com is futile and could actually further inhibit America’s anti-trafficking efforts…while the majority of current cases may involve Backpage, this could simply be because the website is the primary [site] being used by [pigs to deceive people]…

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Die Young, Stay Pretty

Live fast ’cause it won’t last.  –  Chris Stein & Debbie Harry

In Monday’s column “Crystal-Gazing” I wrote, “I don’t think it’s likely I’ll be around to see [the mid 2030s], but many of you will be.”  Several readers asked me why I believed I wouldn’t make it to that point; after all, I’d only have to live to 70, and the average white American woman born in the 1960s lives to about 75.  Now, I could point out that statistically, my chance of dying before 70 is roughly equal to my chance of living past 80, but that wouldn’t quite be true; a lot of the reason the life expectancy keeps increasing is that infant mortality keeps decreasing, so anyone who survives childhood isn’t statistically likely to live as much longer than her ancestors as it might appear just from looking at those life expectancy figures.  Also, most of the female members of my family live into their ’80s, even if the male ones have an odd tendency to die under strange and often newsworthy circumstances (ask me about that if we ever get drunk together).  That having been said, a fair number of relatives of both sexes have contracted cancer or more-exotic terminal diseases, some of them at early ages (like the maternal uncle who died of leukemia in his late teens), and I’ve had several close brushes with sudden death (two of them of the “hushed-nurse-saying-I-shouldn’t-be-alive” variety), so I don’t think my familial or personal life expectancy is quite as high as that of the general population.

And thereby hangs the tale.  As I’ve stated before, I have absolutely no intention of ever enduring chemotherapy; if I develop cancer I’m going to seek out palliative care, put my affairs in order and let the disease take its course.  I’ve seen more than my share of people I love spending their last days hooked to machines in sterile institutions, dying in infernal contraptions surrounded by shouting doctors and nurses pounding on their chests and shooting chemicals into their veins, or electrically shocking their soon-to-be-corpses, instead of expiring quietly in their own beds surrounded by loved ones.  So I have a DNR order; if it’s respected I will die when I die rather than being dragged violently back across the threshold because mere humans have decided I’m not allowed to leave this plane yet.  Furthermore, though the more strictly-rational among my readers may scoff, I’ve never claimed to be strictly rational; my several close brushes with death (and a frank assessment of the chances I have taken in the past and those I continue to take on a regular basis) have led me to feel that I’m living on borrowed time, and Death knows that “when he at last come to collect me it will be a rendezvous rather than a capture“.  Death and I are old friends; he was gracious enough not to interrupt my work before it was done, and it’s the least I can do to return that favor when the time comes.  He’s passed me by on several occasions when he probably should have taken me, and I’m not such a fool that I think he’s going to keep doing that indefinitely.

Nor would I want him to.  I’ve clearly stated my philosophy on this subject many times, including in my fiction; it’s mortality which gives life meaning, and I think it’s a bit rude for those whose dance is done to keep hogging the floor rather than making “room for the new dancers who are always waiting for their turn.”  And besides all of that, I’m far too independent to be able to enjoy a life of decrepitude and dependence, and far too vain to desire a life in which I’m no longer the object of desire.  The song below has always been among the larger group of my favorites, and I don’t feel any differently about it at 50 than I did at 15; when I go, I want people to still be able to honestly talk about how beautiful I was.  Shallow?  Probably.  Silly?  Maybe.  But my friends will tell you I rarely ask for anything, so I don’t think it’s greedy of me to ask that no one begrudge my wish to not have to endure years or decades of life after the things I like best about it are gone.

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Sending Messages

Until our society grows up and stops believing in ridiculous fairy tales about magical sex acts and ritual purity, sex workers will continue to be treated as disposable.  And until the day that sex work is universally recognized as work and sex workers recognized as fully human, we must never stop reminding our society that it has our blood on its collective hands.  –  “December Seventeenth”

Last year, I wrote the words above just two days before keeping vigil with my sisters for our fallen; less than three weeks later the “authorities” in Seattle saw fit to destroy one of the means by which we try to prevent the violence which claims so many of us.  It was a grim reminder of the deep evil of Prohibition, the sociopathic belief that a certain group has the right to dictate which kinds of peaceful, consensual behavior are acceptable within the confines of imaginary lines drawn on a map, and to send out armed thugs to destroy people’s lives in hope of “sending a message” that the so-called “authorities” don’t approve of the behavior in question.  I want you to really think about the morality of that for a minute:  these “authorities” know that they can’t ever stop consensual behaviors; everyone knows it.  No form of prohibition in the history of the world has ever succeeded; the twisted monsters who pretend to “lead” us can’t even stop people in prisons from getting drugs, so how can they possibly succeed in stopping people who aren’t locked up from having sex with each other for the “wrong” reasons?  It’s utterly, completely and absolutely impossible; nobody but a madman could possibly imagine it had even the slightest chance of succeeding in a million years.  In fact, most prohibitionists willingly admit this, hence their oft-repeated statement that by inflicting savage violence on peaceful people they hope to “send a message” to others.  But the morality of that motivation is even more profoundly sick, evil and vile than the idea that “authorities” have the right to control people’s lives in the first place; it is based in the notion that those “authorities” not only own every single person within their claimed jurisdiction, but that the worth of our lives to them are as that of pieces of paper, to be used to “send a message” upon at their whim.  Under prohibition, my life, your life and the lives of everyone reading this are nothing but cheap, disposable and interchangeable objects with which “messages” can be sent to all the other pieces of human trash…and then crumpled up and thrown away.  That is the real “message” sent by the very existence of prohibitionist laws: we own you and millions of others, and we can dispose of you at a whim.  On this day, we remember the sex workers whose lives were destroyed by the State’s “message sending”, but the State sends similar “messages” using the bodies of others 365 days a year.  Its agents shoot people down in the streets like mad dogs; it shovels them into holes in the ground like garbage.  And though our bodies and those of our clients are the ones the State mostly uses to send its “message” against sex, that isn’t the only “message” it wants to send; it also wants to send “messages” against drugs and many other forms of pleasure; against free thought, free speech and free movement; against self-determination and self-ownership; and most of all against the dangerous idea that it does not own you and has no right to control your body, your mind or your possessions.  And when its power-mad functionaries decide to emphasize a “message” that you happen to be a good example of, you will find yourself just as disposable to those functionaries as sex workers are to them now.

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