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Archive for the ‘Diary’ Category

Now that Grace is here in Washington, I’ll actually be cooking a whole Thanksgiving dinner by myself for the first time since 2014.  Oh, it probably won’t be as big and elaborate as the ones I used to make in the old days, but it’ll have turkey (no, it’s not dry and nasty when I make it) and dressing and gravy and pumpkin pie and all that.  And I’ll get to spend a couple of days at Sunset, which will be nice for a change.  Then Friday is the start of the Yuletide season; this year I managed to stay away from enough retail stores that I didn’t have to endure much-too-early holiday decorations & music, which is a promising start.  See, I keep the holiday season for loved ones and generosity rather than conspicuous consumption, so it hasn’t been ruined for me.  And that reminds me:  starting Friday, I’m running my annual Toys for Tots special which for a small expenditure will allow you extra time with me while bringing a little bit of joy to needy children.  It will run until December 11th, and you don’t even need to be in Seattle to take advantage of it!  If you’re interested, please read Friday’s column for details; if you don’t want to wait until then just email me (serious inquiries only, please).  Here’s to the holiday season; won’t you consider spending a little slice of it with me?

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I used to be able to count on autumn lifting my spirits, but it didn’t really happen last year and it certainly hasn’t this year.  I think the problem is that my natal month and those bordering it have brought too much trauma and stress into my life over the past decade; it was the season when a lot of the big relationship problems with Matt occurred, and the season when a lot of the most difficult passages with Jae fell.  It’s also the month when the Gestapo pull their annual “Operation Cross-Country” mass coordinated pogrom scheme, and last year we had to endure months of slow business due to the quadrennial shitshow.  Though the trafficking hysteria is showing signs of imminent implosion, it’s not gone yet and things will get worse before they get better; last week Eros (the site from which a good half of my own business comes) was raided by the feds, and though it hasn’t been taken down yet the entire demimonde is once again shaken and stressed by the terrorist actions of US “authorities”.  It’s impossible to tell if this will cause yet another slowdown in sex workers’ business, but if it does it will hurt me both financially and psychologically; there are only three things nowadays which pull my head out of the dark crypt it normally inhabits, and one of them is work.  The other two are getting high and spending time with people I love, and it’s best when my waking hours are filled with a combination of all three.  Alas, Lorelei was away at a Doctor Who convention this past weekend, so we didn’t get our normal date night; we’ll have a short visit tomorrow, though, and here’s a pic from last week (she sometimes likes to play with my hair).  And Grace is coming up from Sunset for a couple of days, so that’ll be nice too.  And in the meantime…well, that’s why the gods invented mind-altering substances.

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Diary #384

When one is down and feeling the weight of the world on one’s shoulders, it’s always such a wonderful thing to be reminded that one is loved, admired, cared about or otherwise has a positive effect on the lives of others.  Gift-giving occasions like birthdays are really good in this way; it’s not so much the gift itself that does the trick (though a lot of those are nice too!), but rather the thought that someone took time out of their day to select, purchase and/or prepare that gift.  It’s a tangible way of saying, “I’m thinking of you” or “You mean a lot to me.”  For my birthday last week, Lorelei prepared me a lovely spread of food (I asked her for a dinnertime version of trick or treat and she delivered!) and we took a little break from Doctor Who to watch three of my favorite science fiction/horror films, the Professor Quatermass series (the third of which I wrote on almost four years ago).  One of my gentlemen gave me some beautiful snake earrings, a new butter dish I’ve wanted for a while and the DVDs of the ’80s TV series Monsters; also in the monstrous vein, reader Ivan Dragomiloff gave the the DVDs for the Groovy Ghoulies show from my childhood.  And because I love cartoons, two other readers (Jeremy Dunn and a gent who prefers to be anonymous) gave me discs I didn’t yet have of classic Warner Brothers cartoons.  Besides all this, I got a larger number of cash donations than usual and a new subscriber (for which I’m always grateful).  So thank you, all of you; I know I don’t always express it clearly or loudly enough, but it always means more to me than I can possibly explain.

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Diary #383

Hoo boy, what a weekend!  My friend Angela Keaton flew in on Thursday for my birthday weekend, which has basically consisted of eating, drinking and being merry with her, Grace, and a bunch of my other friends in various combinations since then until late last night, when I brought her back to the airport.  Some of you may have noticed I was conspicuously absent from Twitter since Friday, and others that there was no Who night pic last night; the former was due to my being busy carousing and otherwise spending as little time sober as possible, and the latter to Lorelei’s and my moving our weekly date to tomorrow for my birthday (it’ll be back to Sunday next week).  Of course, that means I let my usual three to five day lead on this blog (remember when it was weeks?) kinda run out, and I’m writing this only about 90 minutes before it publishes.  But it was worth it (as were the hangovers), and I’ll catch up again by next weekend or so.  And I hope you’ll understand if I keep this one short and sweet, so I can catch up on something else: my sleep.

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Diary #382

I don’t really mind busy days and weeks, unless the busy-ness derives from unpleasant stuff.  When the things I’m busy with are pleasant, profitable or both, I actually prefer busy times because, left to its own devices, my brain is wont to dwell on far less pleasant things.  I’ve been devoting more effort lately to making it harder to hear the awful things shut up in crates in my mental basement; since I can’t get rid of them there’s no way to eliminate their awful din completely.  However, I can spend as much time as possible in the less-haunted parts of the house; eliminate, ignore or refuse activities that might take me downstairs alone; turn the music up so loud they’re drowned out; and spend as little of the rest of the time conscious and sober as is practical.  Besides work, I spent Sunday evening with Lorelei as usual, and tonight I’ll be with Jae; then Thursday through the weekend my friend Angela Keaton will be visiting (including a party on Friday night!) leading up to my birthday with Lorelei.  And if I or somebody else thinks about it at the time (no promises), I may even have a picture or two from the party to share with y’all later.

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Diary #381

Last week was one for cleaning up, fixing up and setting straight.  Grace spent it totally revamping the wellhouse (tank, plumbing and electrical) and repairing a water-pipe leak that had caused considerable damage to the bathroom subfloor; I made some long-delayed updates to my professional website and, as you saw yesterday, finally got around to adding a bookstore to this site.  Those of you who don’t know me personally may not understand how a woman who could build this cyclopean edifice of a website over seven and a half years could somehow be so intimidated by procedures that she could leave important tasks hanging for months or even years, but maybe it would help you to understand if I told you that I started thinking about doing this blog in 2007; it took me three years to actually start it.  And people who visit my Den of Iniquity will tell you that there have been no important changes in a year, and no major ones in two years.  See, I don’t really like change in my environment or procedures; once I get things the way I like them, they tend to stay that way until Doomsday.  That’s one of the reasons I was so upset by the move from Oklahoma to Washington; even though I knew it was the right thing to do, I’m just not easily able to cope with change on that scale.  And so Grace is in charge of putting things to right at Sunset; all I have to do is tell her what I want done, answer any procedural questions she has, pay the bills as they come in and throw fits about delays and cost overruns (and truth be told, Grace could probably do without that last).  If I were wealthy, I’d probably have a whole entourage of assistants to deal with stuff for me; alas, such is not to be.  And so I get to things when I get to them, unless a crisis forces my hand or someone I love prods me to deal with them before that.  And I guess that will have to do.

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Diary #380

Chekhov got back to Sunset on Sunday afternoon, which means the move is now officially complete; everything I own is now within a relatively compact geographical area of western Washington, as are most of my friends.  My cousin Alan will probably be up here within a few years, and even Frank and Olivia are considering a move to Portland.  That’s really incredibly fast considering that a year ago today, I hadn’t even thought of doing this yet; I asked Grace for her opinion about it around the first week of December, and my first text to my real estate agent on the subject was on December 13th.  We whittled down the list of available properties during Grace’s Christmas visit, saw the property for the first time on January 3rd, hashed out the details over the next few months, closed the sale of my Oklahoma property in late May and the sale of Sunset on May 30th, and the first load departed westbound on July 25th.  And after many problems, a lot of heartbreak and tremendous cost overruns, we’re done at last and one more source of stress is gone from my life.  Grace will be really busy fixing up the place; getting everything I want accomplished will probably take another year and a lot more money, but at least I no longer have a mortgage and Grace is close by.  And that is worth a great deal to me.  If you’d like to help fix the place, I’m running a very generous special until the end of the month; it’s open to both local clients and those I need to travel to reach, with different terms.  If you’re interested please email me, but please only if you’re serious! 

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