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Archive for the ‘Diary’ Category

Diary #398

Last week was dominated by the sudden death of my friend Laura Lee on Wednesday morning; Matisse and I found out Wednesday evening about 10, but we were asked not to say anything until Laura’s daughter made a public statement.  Working out what to say to the press was a lot to ask of such a young woman, but she handled it with the strength and courage she inherited from her mother.  I never met Laura in person; we’ve been talking for a couple of years now about arranging that, but alas fate intervened.  But she and I have been online friends for years, and we shared the deep bonds of sisterhood that only whores can know with each other.  As I wrote in another diary column more than three years ago,

…when sex worker friends get together there’s a kind of camaraderie that I’ve not generally felt among groups of other adult women; it’s a sense of shared experience, of being denizens of a secret world unknown to the general population.  Perhaps we cleave to each other more tightly because the “good” women of the world reject us; perhaps it’s an outgrowth of the necessity for us to watch each other’s backs.  And perhaps it’s also due to our comfort with displays of affection and intimacy that others would find shameful…

That also extends to our online interactions; Brooke Magnanti and I were good friends and confidantes for years before I met her, and Matisse and I were so close that when we finally met for the first time in person, we were finishing each other’s sentences and people were surprised to hear that we hadn’t ever met before.  And the same goes for my relationship with Laura; we sent each other packages, chatted in DMs on Twitter, and supported and consoled each other through some extremely difficult times.  So when I heard the news, I didn’t receive it with the detached sadness one experiences at the death of a beloved celebrity or casual acquaintance, but with the pain of the loss of a real friend.  The sex worker rights movement has lost one of our greatest warriors, a fierce campaigner for human rights who was willing to go toe-to-toe with horrific evil for the benefit of thousands of women who didn’t even know her.  And those of us who did know her have also lost someone we dearly loved.

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While work is always an effort, work that one loves and finds rewarding is also a source of joy and fulfillment (not to mention money).  So when one has a good week full of work, with generous and interesting gentlemen whose company one enjoys, there’s a kind of  pleasant tiredness at the end of it that goes beyond mere contentment and job satisfaction to a broader sense of a life well-lived.  And for someone like me, who has a lot of trouble getting her nervous system to settle into anything like “relaxation” even when she’s soaking in a hot tub, that’s a really nice place to be.  Obviously, it’s an ephemeral place, but that’s OK; though I hate to get philosophical (a terrible lie), the entire universe and everything in it is ephemeral to one degree or another, and all we can hope for is to maximize the nice parts while minimizing the bad ones.  That’s why I’m taking even more steps to increase the amount of time spent with people I love, while decreasing that spent in unpleasant pursuits.  And if you want to spend time with me (in or out of hot tubs), eating good food and enjoying good conversation and other adult pleasures, you know how to get in contact with me.  Why put it off?  You, too, can maximize the nice parts of your life, and I’m very good at helping people to do that.

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Diary #396

Though we didn’t actually consider the relative business slowness of early January when planning our Mexican vacation, it’s a good thing we took it when we did because we’re definitely back in the busy season now.  And that in turn is a good thing, because I’m still not done refilling my coffers after the move and there are some long-delayed bills I really should take care of before I suffer my yearly throttling by Uncle Sam.  It’s also good because returning to real life after an idyll always makes me blue, and keeping my mind occupied with work helps alleviate that (as does spending quality time with people I love, which I had a larger-than-usual number of chances to indulge in last week).  Still, that doesn’t mean I’m averse to traveling for work; I’d like to go somewhere in March or April, so start getting your votes in now and the first city (domestic or foreign) which can promise me three good appointments will be the winner!

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Diary #395

Usually, when I take a vacation or business trip, I get behind on my blogging while on the road and catch back up when I return.  But this time, it was the opposite; while Lorelei was sunbathing I actually had plenty of time to work on my blog on the balcony of our room, but when I got back I was so busy with appointments (both new and prebooked) that by Friday I was down to only two columns ahead!  Not that I’m complaining about either, mind you!  It does my OCD good to get a lot of paying work after a week of indolence, and though some of you may think working on my blog while in Puerto Vallarta doesn’t sound like much of a vacation, you’re not looking at the big picture.  I was working on my blog, all right…on a balcony overlooking the ocean, with warm tropical breezes and peppy music wafting over me, and a constant stream of no-extra-charge piña coladas, mai tais and daiquiris on my table.  Don’t worry, I wasn’t drinking constantly while there; most mornings, there was at least an hour between my waking up and drinking my first mimosa at breakfast, and when I got really tied up in my writing I might not notice my glass was empty for an hour or more!  You know, I’m not exactly a fan of Hemingway’s, but maybe he had something with that writing drunk thing.  Of course, Hemingway didn’t actually say that, and I wasn’t actually drunk most of that time (more…relaxed), but the point still stands.  And I’m not writing this drunk; I’m writing it stoned.  So I should probably just leave you with this picture Lorelei took after we had our beachside massages the last full day we were there.

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Diary #394

Lorelei Rivers and I are headed back to Seattle from Puerto Vallarta today, well-rested and ready to go back to work tomorrow.  It was a lovely five days; I would enthusiastically recommend an all-inclusive package (which is what we got) to anyone going to a similar resort.  Not only was it dirt-cheap by US standards, it was so very nice not to have to keep hauling out credit cards or wads of cash to pay for every little thing.  As you saw yesterday, the views were spectacular, and we ate whatever we wanted in any of several lovely restaurants; plus, free room service, free mini-bar, shows, several pools and a private beach, and all the free booze we wanted.  And though the drinks tended to be weak, a quick side-trip to the VIP lounge to spike them with even MORE free booze remedied that problem easily enough.  We spent most of Friday, Saturday & Sunday eating, drinking, lying on the beach (with LOTS of sunscreen to protect our exceptionally-fair skins) and of course shopping, then on Monday I went into town for even more shopping after we got massages in a lovely little tent up the beach from the hotel.  It’s a good thing we packed light on the way down, because, you know, shopping.

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Not-At-All-Innocent Broads





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Diary #393

Though the holiday season officially ended on Saturday, Lorelei and I have planned a sort of epilogue to it; very early Thursday morning we’ll be departing for Mexico and not returning until the following Tuesday.  Don’t worry, there will be pictures!  We’ll probably be tweeting them periodically all weekend.  If you’re jealous, maybe you should book a duo with us for when we return so you can absorb a little of our surplus Mexico mojo; you can contact either of us as you prefer.  If you’ve been thinking about it, there’s no time like the present.  Oh, and speaking of Lorelei, this is just a reminder that we’ve moved our Doctor Who night to Wednesday, so if you enjoy pictures like this one, that’s the time to look for them now.  Please forgive the short column; I have some packing to do!

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