Long-time readers know that I suffer from debilitating vertigo which practically amounts to a disability; I need to ride shotgun in a car if I’m not driving, thrill rides are out of the question and, until recently, air travel was a horrific nightmare reserved solely for situations in which A) I absolutely had to be somewhere, and B) there was no practical way I could get there by car. Even buses and trains give me trouble, and since I had tried literally every prescription and non-prescription motion sickness medication on the market (and the bands, and the patch, and acupressure, and I’m a very poor hypnotic subject) I got around almost entirely by driving for a very long time. But then last summer, when I had a sudden attack of vomiting at a friend’s house, she gave me an ondansetron tablet and I was amazed to discover that it suppressed the nausea almost immediately. And this started me thinking: despite the claim in the literature that the medication has little effect on vomiting caused by motion sickness, I suspected that was by itself; what if I used two drugs in conjunction, diazepam to make me relaxed (preferably sleepy) and the ondansetron to control my weak stomach? So I visited a doctor to get prescriptions for both and tried the combination on a trip to Los Angeles in May; it worked well enough on that smooth round-trip to make me brave enough to try again with a much longer and much more turbulent trip to New Orleans, which I passed with flying (no pun intended) colors.
What that means is that I’m air-mobile again, so if you want me to speak at some event or avail yourself of my professional services, that can be arranged. For car travel, my rule of thumb is that I’m willing to drive for as long as the appointment; in other words, if you’re two hours from Seattle I’m willing to come and see you as long as you book at least a four-hour appointment (to balance two hours each way). But if I have to fly, you’re going to need to spring for a plane ticket too because it ain’t exactly like I can just jump on a plane and come home as soon as we’re done. That means downtime that you aren’t paying for in a strange city, and a hotel, and…you get the picture. So I think a plane ticket plus an appointment as least as long as the total time I have to spend on a damned plane (because despite the fact that I can dope away my sickness now, I still really despise flying) is only fair. And if you really don’t want that long an appointment (or can’t get away from your wife for more than a few hours), a plane ticket and a hotel and a dinner date should do nicely, because I’ll be able to advertise it as a short tour and book other appointments while I’m there. For speaking gigs, I’ll want a ticket, hotel & meals at least. But if you can’t afford all that, fear not; I’ll be traveling about for one reason or another from time to time, and I’m going to announce every one of those trips both in my diary columns and on Twitter, so you’ll be able to book appointments with me in advance (I’m not overly fond of last-minute appointments even in Seattle, and I loathe them while traveling). Of course, you could also come to Seattle, but I think that goes without saying.
One more thing, and this is important: I know a lot of my male readers are clients, and a lot of y’all have asked how y’all can support my work; in fact, I recently exhorted y’all to start doing more to support sex worker rights before you’re the one getting caught in a sting or prosecuted for writing reviews. Well, here’s your chance. It’s human nature to want to get something for your money, so I understand that you may not want to send me a few thousand bucks just because I’m gorgeous and brilliant. However, now you can support sex worker rights out of your sex-buying budget by booking a session with me and flying me out to wherever you are. Think about it, boys; you’ve seen my pics and my skills are practically legendary. Now you, too, can fuck Maggie McNeill, and all you have to do is email me, set aside a little time and be generous. Come on; you know you want to. Splurge a little. And I’ll be really, really grateful.