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Archive for August 13th, 2014

The Wrong Track

In your posts I’ve read about how sex work is a performance.  Is a key part of the art of a courtesan, then, to make sure that it stays a performance and does not turn into real sexual desire and expression?  I am guessing that a key skill of sex work would be getting oneself to “turn on” at the right time without that arousal turning into too strong of a sexual connection.  Or am I on the wrong track?

train wreckI’m afraid you’re on the wrong track.  Unlike men, women don’t need to be “turned on” to perform; the majority of the time sex workers aren’t aroused during work sex at all, so there’s no danger of it turning into a “sexual connection”.  I know this is hard for a guy to grasp, because if you aren’t aroused penetration isn’t going to happen.  But a woman can simulate arousal without feeling it, and the majority of sex workers use lubricant even if they get wet because it’s better for condoms.  Of course arousal sometimes does happen, but for most sex workers it’s a minority of the time, and certainly not common enough for dealing with it to be considered a “key part”.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

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