I have a follow-up question to your column of September 11th, in which a male reader asked how he could get an interested woman to accept money for sex. It’s kind of the flip-side: how to get an interested man to pay for sex? I am fine with it being labeled as prostitution, but I think a lot of men aren’t comfortable with the idea of direct payment. However, I’m done giving it away; I have invested a lot into my appearance & intelligence, and loans and hair don’t pay for themselves!
When I was working and a strange man started flirting with me in some public place, I just gave him a card. My cards were very simple, with just the name of my service, its website address and the phone number. They were, however, obviously not cut-rate cards; they were glossy black with purple text, and plasticized on the front side. So though they didn’t actually say much in text, their subtext was obviously THIS WOMAN IS NOT CHEAP. The tactic rarely yielded a completed appointment; few of them called, and most of those who did couldn’t afford it. But despite the low success rate from a financial point of view, it was worthwhile to me because it got them to stop wasting my time with a quiet but unmistakable “put up or shut up.” Or expressed more politely, “your move.”
Now, I have many fine qualities, but sexual subtlety is not among them. When describing my looks people often use adjectives like “stunning” or “striking”, and with good reason: my sex appeal is about as gentle and understated as a brick to the face, and some men have even described me as “intimidating”. So while handing a man a business card and responding to his “Is this what I think it is?” with a straightforward “yep” worked well for me, it might not fit your style at all. Furthermore, since I gather from your question that you are new to this, you’d probably be pretty uncomfortable with the brazenness of my strategy, which (as explained above) is much better at getting rid of would-be Casanovas than it is at turning them into clients. I’ve never had the patience to cultivate individual men; I’ve always preferred to just spin my web and wait for the guests to arrive. So I think the best thing to do here is turn this one over to the commentariat: Ladies, how would you go about letting a flirter know that there’s a charge for what he’s seeking without scaring him off?