As a flower dies without water,
As the night is blind without the moon,
So is my heart without you, beloved. – from one of my husband’s love poems
On May 31st I asked my readers to submit questions for a collective interview with my husband; he read those questions and dictated replies to me, then I rearranged the questions and answers so as to provide a more logical flow, combining some answers and slightly rewording a few questions in the process. When answering one of the questions he suggested I provide a link to the column I did on the subject, and we decided I should do the same for other answers where appropriate. One point of interest: We’ve never been exactly sure who the mystery woman who steered him in my direction (see the first question below) was because he couldn’t remember which service he called, but I’m pretty sure it must have been Linda. All the words in non-italic, non-bold type in today’s and tomorrow’s column are his.
How did you meet Maggie?
I was in New Orleans and was in the process of getting a divorce after finding out my wife had cheated on me, so I decided it would be fair for me to call an escort. So I called an agency, and the woman said she didn’t take credit cards, but she referred me to another agency that did and it was Maggie’s. So then I called and I asked for an older girl and Maggie said, “I’m 34, will I do?” She sounded nice, so we worked out the details and she came over to my hotel (and then we played board games, because anything else would be unlawful). One thing led to another, and the rest is history.
Have you always had respect for the working girls, or is this something Maggie gave you? Or to put it another way — before you met Maggie, could you have imagined being married to a hooker?
I have always had the same respect for working girls as for the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker; they’re just people making a living. I saw other girls before I met Maggie, from streetwalkers to escorts, and I respected them as human beings and never thought of them as anything other than people. I don’t think I would’ve ever considered it before, not because I felt less of them but because of the barrier between client and provider (there’s no sense in wishing for ice cream when you’re in the Sahara). But with Maggie it was different; the way she dressed, the way she acted, she was like any other girl I knew; her GFE felt so sincere and so real that it really was like being with a girlfriend, so I felt like I really had a chance with her. And she later told me that she genuinely did like me from the beginning, so that was probably part of what I felt.
At what point did you emotionally cross the line and know that you were in love enough with a working girl to want to get married? How could you tell?
I really don’t remember, but it wasn’t all that long after meeting her. It was love at first sight, and I knew that I would have to work very hard to convince her that I was serious. A few months into the relationship Maggie opened a drawer at my apartment and discovered a stash of beanie babies I had intended to give her one at a time over months; when she looked questioningly at me I said, “I was prepared for a long siege.”
Was your marriage conditional on your being her only partner/“client”?
Originally it was. She agreed that once we were engaged she wouldn’t do any more calls, and though she ran her agency she didn’t do any calls herself, just bachelor parties and two-girl shows. But later due to extreme circumstances we decided she would go back to work herself for a while, from January 2004 until June 2006.
Does Maggie give you a hall pass when you need some outside variety?
She not only provides the hall pass, she usually provides the hall. We discussed what the rules were from the beginning; since she was an escort I knew she had to see other men, but if she had asked me not to see other women I wouldn’t have. However, that wasn’t the case; she has allowed me to see other women on a number of occasions, and sometimes even provided girls for me. If we had to keep a score card it wouldn’t have worked; I don’t think a relationship with an escort can work for everybody, a certain maturity level needs to be there.
Do you give Maggie a hall pass if she wants to hook up with someone for personal pleasure and not professionally?
She has my permission to be with women, but not with men. I feel that I’ve stretched my liberal outlook on her being with other men as far as it can go, and besides she’s told me she isn’t interested in being with any other men. The reason I don’t mind her being with women is selfish, because if she gets involved with another woman I might be invited to participate.
Are you worried about your wife developing feelings for clients that she sees on a regular basis?
No. We’ve talked about it many times and I know it’s only work for her. In ten years it’s never come close to being an issue.
How do you know that she won’t fall for someone else the same way that she fell for you?
Like any other marriage. She’s not more likely to fall in love with someone else than any other woman would be. You might as well worry about your wife falling in love with some guy she sees in the produce aisle at the supermarket. There has to be trust. I have to trust her just like any other man has to trust his wife; if you don’t have trust your relationship won’t work whether she’s an escort or a secretary.
So you’ve never been jealous of her being with other men?
In the beginning I was jealous, not of the sex but rather of the time. Since we had a long-distance relationship our time together was precious, and I resented when she had to go on a call because I was losing that time.
To be continued tomorrow…