If a woman hasn’t got a tiny streak of a harlot in her, she’s a dry stick as a rule. – D.H. Lawrence
The rest of this month’s short articles I hope my readers will find interesting.
Quite Possibly the Most Uptight Nerd Ever
An anonymous commenter posted this link in the commentary for my May 13th column; since it appears in MSN’s Digital Life Today section we might be inclined to consider the implied criticism of Apple to have a top-down origin, but the reporter’s prudish, offended tone is sort of hard to disguise. In fact, I think she just might be the most uptight computer nerd I’ve yet encountered (which is too bad, because she’s quite pretty):
After June 1, it’ll be possible to hire a prostitute using an iPhone app. According to ZDNet, dating service Sugar Sugar has managed to get Apple to grant its app a spot in the App Store. The curious thing about this news is that Sugar Sugar is not an ordinary dating service. Instead of putting together people who are simply seeking traditional relationships, it links up sugar daddies — wealthy men who are willing to shower young women with money, gifts, and other compensation in exchange for companionship — and their so-called sugar babies. In more blunt terms: The service helps prostitutes and their clients connect.
We’ve certainly heard about such services in the past — WhatsYourPrice.com, Craigslist’s darker corners, and an assortment of shady “dating” websites come to mind — but Sugar Sugar’s app is headed to Apple’s App Store, a place known for its strict guidelines and approval process…
The author, Rosa Golijan, then goes on to enumerate all of the App Store guidelines she believes the “app” violates with all the zeal of a crackpot fundie playing records backward to find the hidden Satanic messages. She claims that the program “nearly” violates guidelines prohibiting “excessively objectionable or crude content” and “pornography”, and that it “promot[es] prostitution — behavior which qualifies as criminal in many places.” Poor girl; her stays are so tight she must’ve cut off the oxygen to her brain. Don’t worry, Rosa, I’ll help you understand this before your head explodes: 1) “Nearly” only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and H-bombs; 2) normal people don’t find dating (even compensated dating) “objectionable”, and matching two people who want to meet (for whatever reason) is not “crude”; 3) “pornography” has a specific meaning, not just “stuff feminists don’t like”; and (last but not least) 4) though I myself have pointed out that sugar babies are a kind of whore, that’s only morally and practically speaking; as far as cops and politicians are concerned, it’s 100% legal. I’m afraid your indignation, like that of most moralists, has approximately zero basis in reality.
Lest you think this is an isolated incident for Rosa, you may wish to click on the imbedded link for WhatsYourPrice.com above and read Rosa’s nearly-as-bluenosed commentary about that site.
Rosa isn’t the only champion of the New Victorianism in this column today. A.K. Smith* called my attention to this May 13th article from Forbes about a new limited-edition book by porn star Ashley Blue, each copy of which contains one of the author’s pubic hairs. Now, that alone is interesting enough to merit mention in this blog, but it’s not the main aspect of the story I wish to focus on; that would be the story itself – or more specifically, the commentary on it. As of this writing, three women have logged in to sniff about how “inappropriate” it is to have a story written by a woman about innovative book marketing by a female entrepreneur in the women’s section of a business website; the first also complained that it was “offensive” to post a picture of a book’s cover in an article about that book. But the author, Susannah Breslin, answered them all with such admirable skill and grace that I truly hope to see a lot more pro-sex-work articles from her.
*While we’re on the subject of books, those of y’all who like detective thrillers might enjoy A.K’s novel Heart of Gold, now available as an e-book.
I’m Sure This One Was Wearing a Bra and Panties
Authorities in Michigan have suspended a Detroit police officer who was allegedly caught having sex with a cross-dressing prostitute in his patrol car. “He is under investigation [and] is suspended with pay pending the [outcome of the] investigation,” Samuel Blaogun, a spokesman for the Detroit Police Department told AOL Weird News. The alleged incident reportedly occurred about two weeks ago. The officer, who has not been identified, was on duty at the time, an official said. Blaogun declined to go into [further] detail…but Detroit’s WJBK reported that other officers spotted his [parked] patrol car …[and] allegedly caught the officer engaged in “activity” with the prostitute. Asked whether the prostitute has been arrested, Blaogun replied: “We are not releasing anything more. It is under investigation, and…I can’t go into details.” Police Chief Ralph Godbee has said he is troubled by the allegations and wants the investigation to proceed quickly…[he said] “We expect eight hours’ work for eight hours’ pay.”
I guess only members of the vice squad are allowed to indulge their kinks while on the clock.
Another Super Bowl Invasion
Last Saturday Amanda Brooks informed me that while the trafficking fanatics misdirected the gullible masses with wild tales about 10,000 hookers descending upon the Dallas-Fort Worth area for the Super Bowl, a real invasion of far greater proportions descended upon the city and was ruthlessly attacked by authorities armed with (I am not making this up) laser beams, though of course this was largely hidden from the outside world. Maybe we need to get the trafficking fanatics worried about the plight of these poor victims so they’ll stop harassing us.