It is not every question that deserves an answer. – Publilius Syrus, Sententiae (#581)
It’s time once again to answer questions posed by you, my readers; if you have a question you’d like to see answered here just send it to the address listed in the right column.
Is there a right way to go about engaging a prostitute’s services? As much as I fully agree that it’s insane to think all sex workers are being degraded, how can I make sure that a lady is in fact doing this because it’s her choice – and not because some pimp will harm her if she doesn’t?
Though some sex worker rights activists might be angry at me for saying this, the best way to minimize your chances of running into a girl who has been coerced is to avoid streetwalkers. Though only about half of them have pimps (and most of those work for the girl rather than vice-versa), the possibility is still higher on the street than in indoor settings. Even among streetwalkers without pimps the incidence of drug abuse, poverty and other factors which many think of as disallowing truly free choice are dramatically higher, and beside everything else there are more police client stings (which are growing more popular as the Swedish odor pervades the land) involving fake streetwalkers than fake escorts.
Your best bet is to join one of the “hooker boards” like ECCIE or Big Doggie, hang around for a while, cruise the girls’ ads and look for one who appeals to you and fits into your price range (it’ll probably be about $200-$400 depending on where you live). Then read her reviews; a very small percentage of low-end girls may have “management”, but you’ll be able to tell from the reviews because guys will report that suspicion. Also, the older the escort the less likely she is to be “managed”. The chance of running into a coerced escort is pretty low to start with, but using those guidelines you can pretty much eliminate it completely.
I kind of get the impression that you would advocate anyone in the business adhere strictly to a referral system. The problem I see with such a system is that it becomes a closed loop in which no new clients can ever enter because they can’t get a referral. Obviously, in reality, there are constantly new women moving into the business and they may be willing to see someone without references, but are they really inclined to provide them to others?
Fortunately for new clients, different girls have different comfort levels where referrals are concerned; agency escorts don’t generally expect them and some independents distrust them unless they know the referring girls personally, for the simple reason that some escorts seem unconcerned with the safety of others and will give a flippant “he’s OK” even if they can’t remember the client at all! And since some others never bother to respond when asked, some escorts consider referrals more trouble than they’re worth and prefer to screen by other means.
A perusal of escort boards will reveal some girls, often highly sought-after ones, who are “newbie friendly” (i.e. they’ll screen by means other than references). In general, these are girls who are more worried about “stings” than about bad clients; they trust their instincts and ability to manage difficult customers to get them out of tight spots, but it’s hard to get around fifteen armed men who mean to abduct one. Once you’ve seen one of these “newbie friendly” girls, you can use her as a reference to see others who are more adamant about referrals and before too long you’ll be set whether your prospective date wants a referral or not.
If I make a comment on your blog and then realize I said something I really shouldn’t have, do you mind deleting it?
We all occasionally type replies online and then, at some point after hitting “post”, realize that due to anger or giddiness or exhaustion or booze or just plain bad judgment we’ve said more than we should’ve. And then comes the “Oh, shit!” moment where one realizes that he’s provided information which could compromise his privacy, or acted like a total ass, or just written something which makes no actual sense whatsoever. When the mistake is just a plain typo most people simply make a second comment, and I delete that one and incorporate the correction into the first. But if the offending post is a complete embarrassment to you, please send me an email pointing out the reply in question and I’ll edit it as you desire or delete it completely if that’s what you want. I’ll still delete the problem-post even if it’s been replied to, but in that case I’ll first ask you to consider editing rather than total deletion so that subsequent replies still make sense. Note that though I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time here lately, it’s not always that way so if you happen to send your deletion request on a day when I’m busy it may take some time before I see it and can perform the requested action.