What’s the buzz? Tell me what’s happening! – Tim Rice, from Jesus Christ Superstar
Sleeping cuddled up next to a man with the flu can have only one probable outcome, so when my husband came back from his recent business trip with such a “bug” it was inevitable that I would catch it as well. But his body and mine appear to have different strategies for dealing with such infections; he slowly gets sicker over a course of days, then suffers for a few days but can mostly still do sedentary work on his computer (albeit at shorter hours), then slowly recovers over a few more days. My body, on the other hand, opts for the all-or-nothing approach; I was perfectly fine Tuesday afternoon, had chills and a minor cough Tuesday night, then woke up Wednesday morning at Death’s door. I took some medicine, returned to bed directly after breakfast and slept/rested until 3 PM, at which time I briefly emerged from the blankets to post my column, fix dinner and then crawl back into bed until 10 PM, when I got up to have some tea and homemade fruitcake and watch a couple of episodes of South Park. By 11:45 I was drugged up and back in bed again. Yesterday I felt much better and mostly played catch-up, though I did give a telephone interview to a television reporter from Dallas who is doing a story debunking the “Super Bowl as prostitution Mecca” myth; he said it will air Super Bowl week so as soon as he gives me the go-ahead I’ll let y’all know the time and channel (readers outside the Dallas area, including myself, will have to see it on their website).
Late last night I felt much better, and slept like a doped-up baby, but that meant I was left without a column for today. So, I’ve decided to call my readers’ attention to some recent posts on other blogs which are deeply interconnected with some things I discussed on December 22nd and 27th. The first appeared in Bound, Not Gagged on Christmas Day; the commentary after the article is definitely the most interesting part. While that commentary thread was still growing, Amanda Brooks published this column on January 1st, the same day I published this one. I swear it was completely coincidental; Amanda and I really aren’t in cahoots any more than any other two women of similar viewpoints might be. Of course, Camille Paglia wrote “Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones.” But sometimes, the conspiracy is even secret from us.
When you read Amanda’s brilliant article, make sure you also read the commentary, and then you may want to go on to Furrygirl’s comments about it on January 6th and Kelly James’ on the 10th, then Douglas Fox in Harlot’s Parlour on the 11th. It’s funny how all this seems to have started with what I considered a simple statement of fact in this blog post on BNG; mind you, I’m not claiming to have set this fire on purpose because I’m just not that fiendishly clever. However, it does my subversive little heart good to think that the spark which set off this powder keg came from the shoe of my horse. But no matter where it started, Amanda gave it a name: what we’re hearing in all these interlocked posts is the voice of the invisible majority of sex workers.
The invisible majority I’m talking about are the lower to middle-class independent online providers all over the US. They are the majority population of sex workers in the US (strippers would be the next most-populous category, I think). Most do not live in San Francisco or NYC (because there is a lot more to the US than those two cities). The slight majority are white (because the majority of the US population is white), but an almost equal number are non-Caucasian — the overall split is very nearly 50/50. A higher percentage are mothers than in the movement. Their politics span the gamut but they usually have very definite liberal views on sex work!
They’re generally an open-minded bunch: they have almost zero tolerance for racism, understand the discrimination gay people face and most are cautiously open to transgenders. The most unfortunate thing about them is a widespread adherence to the sex work-hierarchy and their profound dislike of street workers. This is something that a little education and mind-opening personal interaction could change.
One thing they do feel is excluded, and rightly so. They are. The Internet has allowed the invisible majority to connect and share ideas. They’re reinventing the wheel by trying to start activist groups because (surprise!) they want the laws to change and they want a voice in that change. There is energy. There is also a sad lack of information and leadership skills because they’ve been excluded from the movement for so long. They, like I used to, don’t see many in the movement they can identify with.
The ultra-PC concerns the movement spends so much energy on is foreign to the majority…So many people in the movement have internalized their stigmatization by mainstream society they lash out at anyone who appears to represent mainstream society. Activists deliberately ignore the reality of the bell curve. The movement forgets that sex workers do not live and work in a vacuum. Sex workers are the girl next door. They cannot live and work anywhere else.
I know exactly what Amanda means, and judging by the responses to her post I’m not remotely alone. In the musical number linked at the top of this column Judas attacks Mary Magdalene (portrayed in this show as a prostitute) with the words “It’s not that I object to her profession/But she doesn’t fit in well with what you teach and say/It doesn’t help us if you’re inconsistent;/They only need a small excuse to put us all away.” Those words could well be directed from the movement at the “invisible majority”; obviously they don’t “object to [our] profession” because they share it. But because we don’t “fit in well with what [they] teach and say” they want us to shut up, sit down, do as we’re told and refrain from contributing in any meaningful way.
But from small beginnings great revolutions can begin 🙂
This has all been simmering away for a very long time but people have kept quiet for the sake of unity.
Perhaps the time has come for some honesty and perhaps the next phase in the development of the sex workers rights movement? Who knows.
I think you’re right, Douglas; the strong responses prove that. If it is the birth of a new phase, I’m glad I could play a tiny part in midwifing it! 🙂
Glad you’re feeling better. The Internet is a wonderful thing for people to use for organizing and for learning, which is why so many want to stifle it.
Thank you. I should be up to 100% again by tomorrow. 🙂
I’m the same as Maggie with diseases: nothing wrong seems to be happening, then suddenly I’m down, ready to meet my Maker and incapable of anything else; and then suddenly it’s gone as if nothing had happened.
Best wishes, and welcome back to health! 🙂
That reminds me that I’ve been meaning to do a post about that age of entry thing that you have the info about….
Seems I have too much to say and not enough time to say it.
Alas, isn’t that always the case! 🙁
Actually, it was a thread on a ladies’ discussion board that prompted me to start writing my post. Though I have had this exact conversation with several activists this summer at Desiree Alliance. And have said the same things for a couple years prior (and have obviously been thinking about the issue for many years). It was just a brave new way for me to start the new year!
And now that I’ve said it, I’ve gotten a couple reactions from activists (one of whom knows me fairly well) and they’re behaving as though I’m a pet who just pooped on the rug. That, and apparently my use of the word “KKK” confused them into thinking it’s all about racism — which is obviously isn’t.
Strangely, the less-pointy-headed people who read my post seemed to get it w/o any extraneous explanation. 😉
XX
Damn, Amanda, you had to go burst my bubble! Oh, well, I’ll just put it down to synchronicity. 😉
When The People talk, everybody eventually listens, even if only to disapprove… Obviously the movement will have to heed what the actual sex workers have to say, or else how could it purport to be acting on their name?
Of course, the problem with the rank-and-file becoming audible is that differences will come to the fore (say, the streetwalker-escort divide) and opportunists might be able to take advantage of that. As in all movements involving The People, one hopes that the similarities between all those involved will outweigh the differences.
But it will be difficult. Sex worker activists — like all activists — will also need a good serving of luck.
Poor Maggie! I HATE being sick 🙁
“When The People talk, everybody eventually listens, even if only to disapprove… ” – Asehpe
I figure that if I manage to piss people off at least it means they must be listening.
I think that we’ve done a really good job so far of bringing the ‘invisible majority’ out of the shadows and am proud to be included amongst such original thinkers.
Douglas – I just now got to read your article. It explains a lot of things I’ve noticed and kinda sorta suspected but that I now have a much better understanding of! thanks!
“We’re here, we’re not really all that queer, get used to it” – Maggie McNeill
LOL 🙂
I think that we’ve done a really good job so far of bringing the ‘invisible majority’ out of the shadows and am proud to be included amongst such original thinkers.
So am I. I hope this will progress well, and that people will realize that stereotypes about prostitutes are just that — stereotypes, while real people are more complicated than that. They may have none of the obvious stereotypical features. Even when some of the stereotypical features are present, others may well be absent.
The best thing about this is actually making people know you and who you are, so that they can realize there’s a lot about sex workers that isn’t in any way different from what they are (‘we’re all human’). When I read blogs by gay activists (like Dan Savage’s advice column), I often see stuff that is endearing precisely because it shows how much like other humans we all are.
The perception of similarity is the best stigma-killer. Here’s hoping that it will work for sex workers, too.
The thing I hate most about it is being unable to do anything; normally I even have trouble sitting still for the length of a movie so a day in bed is like Oriental torture to me.
Credit where it’s due, my dear. 🙂
Bravo! As part of the “silent majority”, its refreshing to see intelligent sex workers voicing a frustration I’ve felt for years.
While it doesn’t feel right to continue hiding out in my incall, waiting for others to reclaim my rights as a sex worker, citizen, and human being, the one meeting I did attend developed into my most alienating experience in recent memory. As much as I would like to fight the good fight, I refuse to put myself in the painful position of being sneered at by the very people I’m supposed to follow into battle. Perhaps if I dye my hair electric blue and find myself a female “beard”…
Hi, Harlow! Perhaps Douglas is right and we’re witnessing the birth of a new phase in the fight for our rights. I certainly hope so; it’s exciting even to think about! 🙂
Harlow – no one here is sneering at you 🙂 welcome.
Hi Harlow! Hopefully no exaggerated attitudes will be necessary for people to be taken seriously!…
Out of curiosity, why was your experience with that meeting so alienating? Did the others refuse to acknowledge your existence or discuss any topic of actual relevance to you, or did you experience some explicit form of prejudice?