Whores are the most honest girls. They present the bill right away. – Alberto Giacometti
Yesterday I talked about wife-swapping, and pointed out that a married female “swinger” is essentially a whore who works for barter. But they’re not the only women in modern society who are not called prostitutes and whose trade is not illegal, yet are more profoundly immersed in whoredom than I ever was. They call themselves dancers, models, actresses, hostesses, party girls, students and even professional women, and most of them do actually spend time at some other “regular” job outside of hooking. But most of them make far more money from selling sex or trading it for “presents” and “help” than they do from their “real” jobs, and they are immune to police persecution because they pretend it isn’t a business. In other words, society rewards them for their dishonesty. This isn’t the first time I’ve talked about this; it was the subject of my third column back in July, and featured prominently in the ever-popular “How To Be a Stupid, Greedy Whore” about a month later. I’m not planning to break any new philosophical ground here, so if you haven’t read those two columns you may wish to do so now. What I want to look at today is the price these harlots-in-denial pay for their immunity to legal persecution, and to point out that many of them are far sleazier and much less trustworthy than those of us who are not ashamed to call ourselves what we are.
Because only prostitutes advertise openly, whores-in-hiding have to attract customers by looking pretty and hanging around in places where they can be seen by men, preferably wealthy ones; this is why most of them are strippers, models, hostesses and the like. But others choose to seek customers more subtly, and so hold down “regular” (i.e. non-sex appeal related) jobs by day and spend their evenings and weekends hanging around nightclubs, casinos, etc. All of this is, of course, tremendously time-consuming; though small fish are fairly common it might take days, weeks or even months to land the sort of big fish needed to justify the time expenditure. Even those who are making money as models, waitresses, etc have to spend lots of time at a lower pay rate between good clients. And this means that, as in all other walks of life, the price of increased safety is decreased freedom. In order to protect herself from arrest and the social stigma attached to prostitution, the semi-pro has to give up a great deal of her free time and work for somebody else. The “party girl” has it worst of all; since she has a “respectable” job unrelated to sex, she can’t really troll during work hours and so has the equivalent of a second full-time job. And the most successful of these stealth strumpets pay the highest price in freedom; they become the mistresses or “kept women” of wealthy men and must be at the beck and call of their patrons. Call girls get these offers as well, but few of us accept them; as I told the occasional men who offered me such deals, “I already have a car, and I prefer to decide for myself who has a key to my house.” And when I did at last accept such an offer, it included love, trust and marriage rather than being decided entirely by mercantile concerns.
As you might expect, half-whores need to be very physically attractive in order to attract clients; since they do not openly promise sex, their looks alone have to carry the deal until the bargain is struck. And this means that a large percentage of them are empty boxes; they think their looks are enough, lack the skills and ethics of true professionals, don’t depend on repeat business and are not subject to bad reviews because most of their clients are as deeply in denial as they are and like to stroke their own egos by pretending they don’t pay for pussy. Unlike real whores (who have lives of our own), many semi-pros are only interested in shopping, “beauty culture” and the like, and it’s not uncommon for them to take payment in drugs or expensive trivialities such as garish jewelry and designer clothes. I’m not saying all of them are like this, but it’s much easier for a girl with no responsibilities, plans for the future or real personal depth to get by in this manner than it is for a woman with kids, a mortgage or a retirement plan (who can’t afford to take payment in cocaine or Prada) or an actual personality (who would go crazy if she had to spend all her time around rich losers in expensive public places).
Besides the lack of character, skill and professionalism, there are several other disadvantages to dalliance with a semi-pro, the greatest of which is that she comes with a blank price tag and no contract. A man has no real idea how much she’s going to cost him in the long run nor what he’s going to get for his money, and since she lacks both professional ethics and the Damoclean sword of legal, professional or social consequences for her actions there is no guarantee she won’t renege on the deal or even try to blackmail her patron (as in the case of Karen Sypher, the stupid, greedy whore discussed in the column of that name). Think of how many cases you’ve heard of in which a mistress exposes a famous patron vs. how many instances of call girls exposing clients and I think you’ll see where I’m coming from. Even when this doesn’t happen, the state of denial in which they continually exist creates problems of its own; for example, half-hookers will often dress in clothes no professional escort would ever wear in public because they pretend they have nothing to hide, while we know damned well that we do. Even worse, many of them think nothing of blurting out their job titles or even talking shop when introduced to their client’s friends, acquaintances or business contacts; if such a potentially-embarrassing meeting occurred in public I was always a saleswoman, secretary or whatever the occasion called for, but the dancer or model might very well answer truthfully when asked, oblivious to the fact that she has given away far more of her client’s business than she should have.
There is, however, one type of harlette with whom a gentleman can avoid most of the issues and probably come as close as possible to a professional experience without actually hiring a full-fledged prostitute, and that is the sugar baby. This arrangement, which once required both hunting and luck on the man’s part to obtain, has now been made much easier by the internet. A quick Google search will reveal a number of websites in which young coeds or shop girls can advertise for gentlemen who wish to patronize them (and vice versa). The two meet and discuss details, and if they can agree on how much money he will pay her per week and how many times she’ll provide sex in that period, a bargain is struck and she gains a regular prepaid client, he a young, low-volume whore. Obviously, such girls lack the skills (and usually the open-mindedness) of real professionals, but for sugar daddies the attraction engendered by the youth, inexperience and dependence of their nubile mistresses outweigh their sexual deficiencies. And for the girl who lacks the nerve, pragmatism and disregard for conventional morality necessary to become an independent whore yet still needs free time for her studies (or just wants it for a real social life), the sugar baby arrangement is a satisfactory compromise.
Though we’ve necessarily discussed halfway whores in their modern forms, they are not by any means a modern growth; for as long as civilization has existed beautiful but low-born young women have risen in condition by becoming the concubines or mistresses of wealthy men, and in tomorrow’s column we’ll look at one form of the arrangement which was both common and accepted in New Orleans of the 18th and 19th centuries.