One dragon may breed nine different offspring. – Chinese proverb
Human beings come in all shapes and sizes, and nowhere is that more evident than in their sexual anatomy. Because genitalia can still function within a wide range of cosmetic and morphological variation, there was little if any evolutionary pressure to prevent even extreme variance from the average, and nobody is more aware of such differences than prostitutes are (except, perhaps, physicians who specialize in those anatomical areas).
The average erect human penis is 14 cm long, and the great majority of men fall between 10.7 cm and 19.1 cm; it is 12.3 cm in circumference, with the majority falling between 11 and 13.6 cm. So any of you male readers who fall into those ranges (and I know some of you went for the tape measure as soon as you read those numbers) are average, even if you think you’re small, and anything over 19 cm is really quite large even if your porn movies tell you otherwise. Despite the myths, no study has ever detected any correlation between penis size and race, and my own extensive experience backs that up. It is believed that the myth about black men having exceptionally large penises began in bathrooms and locker rooms, the only places normal heterosexual men ever see other men’s genitalia; black men’s penises tend to shrink very little when flaccid in comparison with those of white men (a statistical truth supported by my own observations), so a white man seeing a black penis might think, “If it’s that big when it’s soft, how big must it be hard?”
Since I know most of you are thinking about it, let’s get this out of the way early: The biggest penis I ever handled was on a white man (a regular who was a physician from Texas), and it was as long as my forearm from elbow to wrist and as thick as my wrist. My tape measure says that’s 29 cm long and 15.6 cm in circumference (11.4” long and 6.14” around). And considering that I’ve seen over 4000 men professionally, I think it’s safe to say that the “twelve inch cock” of porn legend is so fabulously rare that the average woman has a greater chance of being hit by a meteor than of encountering one. No, I wasn’t able to fit it all; I doubt many women could (he said he had never met one). His girth wasn’t the issue; I’ve fit thicker (though shorter) ones. It was just that rather amazing length! Even as experienced as I already was when I met him, I must admit it was rather intimidating; he warned me about it on the phone because he had already encountered a few professionals who were too afraid to even attempt it.
His was the largest one I ever encountered, but not the longest; that title does indeed go to a black man, whose penis was roughly 36 cm long (though that’s just a guess based on my memory of how it looked against my torso). In circumference, however, he was very typical, which gave his penis a rather snakelike appearance. His proportions were so irregular, in fact, that he could not achieve a normal erection. Though the last few inches of his member were reasonably firm, the rest of it was comparable to a garden hose with the tap turned on; that is to say, it was semi-rigid but still quite flexible. His method of accomplishing intercourse was novel to say the least; he knelt between my legs, grasped his penis around the middle and inserted it as one might a dildo, then moved it in and out with his hand! What fascinated me most about this procedure was that it didn’t seem to bother him in the least; clearly this was the way he had always had to enjoy women, so he was used to it.
On the other end of the spectrum are men who are so tiny that it’s difficult to accomplish anything with them. Once a man’s penis gets down to about the size of my thumb (5 cm long) or less, condoms won’t stay on properly and only rear-entry position allows him enough depth of penetration to accomplish what he’s trying to accomplish. Obese men with tiny penises (it’s notable that the two problems often go hand-in-hand) sometimes can’t even manage that, so oral or manual stimulation are the only options. At least it isn’t difficult to fellate such clients, and if they don’t get to enjoy much of what their better-endowed brothers have they can at least get to experience a few things which are denied to normal-sized men, such as a woman taking both penis and testes into her mouth at the same time. This of course presumes that the testicles are in proportion to the penis, which isn’t always the case; in fact, with larger penises I saw no correlation whatsoever. Even the enormous monsters I described above had normal or just slightly above average testicles, and customers with very large testicles (sometimes larger than tennis balls) usually have normal-sized penises. Only when the penis was pathologically small did I often see a correlation in testicular size; I presume that in such cases the two were related, representing a kind of arrested development which, as I mentioned above, was often accompanied by obesity and an odd kind of softness which made me feel as though the customer were a kind of giant baby rather than a mature man.
So far I’ve just talked about size, but shape is often more important. The normal penis is either ramrod-straight or has a slight upward curve, but there are many variations. I have seen curves so pronounced that the tip points almost straight up when the base is perpendicular to the man’s body, and also downward, left-hand or right-hand curves. These severe bends are symptoms of Peyronie’s Syndrome, a penile disorder caused by a kind of plaque which builds up in the erectile tissue (see also here). Besides the undesirable cosmetic effects, this disorder can make intercourse extremely uncomfortable or even painful for the woman (though most of my clients with the problem said it did not hurt them). I found the downward curve the worst; in one such case the client actually bruised me internally, though I didn’t really notice it because he was long enough that the bruise was very deep in my vagina and thus not impacted by the next two clients. When my husband had me the next day, however, it was acutely painful because he was long enough to hit the same spot; the discomfort persisted for a couple of days.
Though my husband’s penis is a fraction above the normal range of length, it is unusually thick and so causes me no discomfort as long as I can control his depth of penetration with my legs. But when a man is unusually long and only of normal thickness, there is insufficient friction to act as a brake on vigorous pounding and the head can actually impact the cervix in women who, like me, have fairly small vaginas (more on this below). This is acutely painful in a way no man can possibly understand (just as no woman can really know what impact to the testes feels like), so when I dealt with such men I was careful to avoid the rear-entry position (which shortens the vagina) and used my thighs to control the angle and depth of his penetration so as to keep his “bottoming out” to a minimum. The opposite variation (above-average thickness with normal or below-average length) carries no direct problems for the woman, but is associated with a higher-than-normal rate of condom breakage. Finally, there are a few conditions peculiar to uncircumcised men (such as thickening or stiffening of the foreskin leading to pain, infection and inhibited erection), but fortunately these are easily cured by circumcision.
Just as men have considerable variation in penis size and shape, so women have considerable differences in our genitalia as well. The average depth of an unaroused vagina is about 10-15 cm and an aroused one 18-22 cm; women who have had children may be a few centimeters deeper and those who have had hysterectomies are sometimes shorter. Like those of men, women’s sexual equipment inflates with arousal; this is why even an experienced woman can be injured in a rape, when her unaroused organs are smaller. But unlike the penis, the vagina is a muscular organ and can be affected by position; the vagina is shortest when the legs are drawn up toward the torso (as in cowgirl and rear-entry) and longest when they are extended (as in the missionary position). This is why I prefer the missionary position over all others; it allows the woman to control both the angle and the depth of penetration by simply moving her legs up or down. Since my vagina is small and tight I can only accept large men with my legs down, but can allow men of average or short length deeper penetration by pulling my knees up toward my tits. Unfortunately, men who have seen too many porno movies seem to believe that all women are over 22 cm deep and can thus take even the largest organs with their legs up on the man’s shoulders or their knees pushed down onto the mattress! It usually wasn’t too difficult to get my legs out of such a man’s grip, but occasionally one was adamant and needed me to explain that the near-virginal tightness he was enjoying so much (and which I maintain to this day with Kegel exercises) went hand-in-hand with the shorter depth which disallowed such porn-star contortions with a well-endowed stallion like himself.
Porn causes one other occasional problem for some escorts; it tends to make inexperienced young men think that women’s external genitalia are more alike than they actually are. As a bisexual woman and a call girl who did hundreds of couple calls I can tell you that there is as much variation in vulvas as in penises; most nude models I’ve seen have fairly subtle labia majora and well-defined labia minora, but I’ve seen girls in real life who had huge labia majora and almost no labia minora or vice-versa. Some labia are quite wrinkly, others smoother, and they vary in color and appearance. Apparently there’s even some variation in vulva-shape preference between different men’s magazines, or at least the photography makes it seem so; once on a multi-girl call I had a stripper tell me, “Oh, you have a pretty little Playboy pussy, but I have a big, nasty Hustler pussy!” It seemed as though she meant it as a compliment, so I took it as one.
The clitoris actually varies more in size than the penis does; 75% of it is inside a woman’s body, and though its full length is roughly 10 cm the exposed portion ranges from 2-60 mm. Though it is usually hidden by the clitoral hood it is completely exposed in some women and totally effaced in others; a “recessed clitoris” is completely below the surface and reveals itself only by stimulation (if at all). But none of this can be explained to jackasses; girls with unusually-shaped genitalia are sometimes insulted by rude clients, and I’ve even heard of ignoramuses accusing girls of being post-operative transsexuals because their vulvas don’t “look right” to these (usually young) men, who obviously consider themselves some sort of sex experts because they’ve been with a couple of dozen women. Fortunately, older men have more experience and therefore realize that the genitalia of women, like those of men, come in all shapes and sizes.
Well, this is a topic I certainly never expected to see.
Now, Jay, do I detect a note of sarcasm? 😉
I didn’t run for the tape measure, but I did have to do some metric-to-imperial conversions. I’m more familiar with the metric system than the average American, but not that familiar.
Part of the reason men in porn look so blessed is because they shave or trim their pubic hair, which makes the penis look larger. Another reason is that many of these men just aren’t very tall. A seven inch penis on a man who is five-foot-six just looks bigger than a seven inch penis on a man who is six-foot-five. Oftentimes they’re not as tall as their female co-stars, and it’s camera angles and other old-fashioned movie magic which hides this fact.
Of course, no mere Human can match the mighty tentacles of the Overfeind, BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
…. hentai nerd.
(I mean that with fondness, honestly. :P)
In Canada we have the strange dichotomy of having officially converted to metric and yet still getting 90% of our TV programs from the USA (who have not.) Pretty much you need to have some familiarity with both, especially to converse with the older generation.
In practice, most measurements to with the human body are still talked about in Imperial standard (height, weight, dick).
Considering what your name links to, I don’t doubt that it was with fondness. 😀
Maggie, thanks for using the metric system! This way I don’t get lost in a jungle of feet, inches, yards, and whatnot.
In my country, in general, men aren’t as worried about penis size as in the US (the Land of Stats, as a compatriot of mine once put it — every televized sports event looks like the interior of a Terminator’s head). I’ve frankly never measured mine, though the general impression by looking is that I would be near the lower end of the spectrum of normalcy that Maggie describes. (So what? Sue me. :-))
I think that come the nano-age, there are going to be a lot of guys running around with fifty centimetre dongs… and just as quickly finding out that this does not cause every woman to swoon for them.
This is also another myth that I wished I could understand. Sure, within reasonable limits, I can understand that a slightly larger penis could provide more pleasure (though even there, at least in my experience, this depends so much on the other side of the equation!… women’s vaginas [not vulvas] also come in different sizes, as the Kamah Sutra already says); but this fixation with having a Texas-sized penis… Brr. It’s like women who think their breasts have to be bigger than their heads.
You write very well, very cleanly, consecutively and coherently. You would make an excellent true-crime writer.
Thank you! I have a few friends who enjoy reading that genre, but I’m afraid it doesn’t really interest me. I reckon my two closest approaches were my column of last October 5th (which borders on it) and November 15th (which contains a description of a fictional crime). 😉
You’re welcome.
True-crime as a genre is a relief from the infinite sameness of fiction. When one reaches a certain age it’s unbearable to read the instantly dead chatter of the merely intelligent. One goes to true-crime for the basic refreshment of fact.
Further. One has to abandon some of one’s wincing at “bad writing” to really dive satisfyingly into true-crime. It is a rich surprise how well truth and interest easily survive even the clumsiest writing.
Jack Olsen’s “The Misbegotten Son” is one of the greatest books of the last century. Check it out sometime.
Hi,
I’d like completely unsubstantiated “facts”: When I was in what you’d probably call preclinic (and before I flunked out), I learned that obesity is often correlated with estrogen levels, both estrogen synthesised from things ingested and “self-made” estrogen. Eating large amounts of soy products, for example, has been shown to increase estrogen levels in humans. And the leptin produced in fatty tissue might also hinder penis development. As you can tell, I know all the technical terms in English. Anyway, more estrogen during childhood and puberty in men -> smaller penis. Then there is the fact that in severely obese men, the fatty tisse above the pubic bone and generally the genitals might increase in size, thus making the penis not only look smaller, but actually reducting the productive penile length. In persons where that is the case, you can usually push against the perceived base of the penis (at the “top”) and push away the fat to reveal another 1-3 inches of penis that have never known a woman.
So basically, what you’re saying is that those “giant baby” types are probably men who were exposed as children to high levels of estrogen or environmental estrogen-like molecules (such as those present in soy and resulting from the breakdown of certain plastics), and that this caused both a higher fat level and retarded penile development. That certainly makes sense, and also explains their odd softness.
I haven’t measured mine, but I’m pretty sure I’m very average in length. I was shocked by your figure for average circumference, though. Even if your figures are for the head and not the shaft, mine must be pretty skinny. (Goes with the rest of my body, I guess.)
I haven’t seen a lot of porno, but I have seen a video with a girl whose clitoris was completely uncovered. It looked very dick-like. She had small labia, too, and a very flat chest (but with long, pointy nipples). I don’t know if these features were related, but I’m guessing they were. I really don’t think she was a transsexual– surely, any surgeon would’ve tried to make her genitalia more traditionally feminine than that.
I thought the descriptions of size and variation of both sexes’ genitals in Mary Roach’s book “Bonk” were pretty interesting. There’s also a lot of stuff on Masters and Johnson’s research, and, interestingly, a bit based on some of the observations of Marie Bonaparte (now there was a well-adjusted courtesan of sorts!) on the correlation between ability to achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration and the distance between the urethral opening and the clitoris. The closer the clitoris to the urethra, the more likely a woman will be able to achieve climax through vaginal intercourse. (I was not in a position to verify this in my limited experience prior to marrying, not having heard of the theory until sometime last year.)
Have you ever read it?
I’ve not ever read that before, but it’s certainly interesting. I suspect there’s an inverse correlation between size of the external clitoris and the ability to achieve orgasm only through intercourse, because the less of it shows the closer the other end is to the anterior vaginal wall.
There actually was some research on this (very, very old research, were talking 19th century) and it was determined that difficulty or even complete inability to achieve “feminine orgasm” (i.e. from vaginal sex alone) was due to the greater distance between clitoris and the top of the vaginal opening, thus meaning little to no friction during sex. Being a bazillion years ago though, they didn’t reccommed manual stimulation for shorter clit’d girls; they developed a surgical technique to reduce this distance. Many women wrote at length (ha!) about it’s stunning success, but I think I’ll keep the scalpels away from my lady bits all the same, thanks.
(Wish I could remember what book I read about this in. It was fascinating.)
The researcher was Marie Bonaparte, and the book was “Bonk” by Mary Roach.
“The average erect human penis is 14 cm long, and the great majority of men fall between 10.7 cm and 19.1 cm; it is 12.3 cm in circumference, with the majority falling between 11 and 13.6 cm.”
Maggie, I just discovered your blog and I LOVE it! Intend to wander through the archives. Should keep me busy for a while.
Here’s a question for you: Do you know if the average length measurements quoted above are bone pressed or non-bone pressed?
Also, here are a couple of links on the topic I’d appreciate you commenting on when you have an opportunity. Thank you.
Here are the links:
http://www.mraverage.com/results.htm
http://www.penissizedebate.com/
Thanks once again.
I’m not sure what you mean by bone-pressed.
Bone pressed means measuring by pressing the ruler back to the pubic bone. As opposed to non-bone pressed which measures from the surface of the lower abdomen, where the penis attaches to the body.
My sources didn’t specify, but I strongly suspect if they intended some special technique they would have described it.
Thanks Maggie, this was a very interesting article. I was wondering about a couple other things. What was the thickest penis you saw and at what thickness did sex become painful? Also, was there a length or thickness of penis beyond which most escorts would not have sex?
I never encountered one I could not accept because of thickness, and I honestly don’t think very many escorts have, either; the vagina is elastic enough to allow a baby’s head through, and there’s no penis remotely close to that in diameter. There is a common male myth that a lot of sex can make a woman loose, but this is pure, unadulterated nonsense; only childbirth can do that. Excessive length is a problem because it can “bottom out” against the cervix, but in that case a thin penis is worse than a thick one because it allows the head to ram harder against the sensitive tissues, whereas a thick one will be slowed down by friction.
I’ve heard that this “bottoming out” is painful, while some women seem to find it merely “uncomfortable.” I’ve heard that some like it, but I don’t know if that’s true. I suppose that everything is liked by someone.
Hello Maggie,
Given your vast knowledge, would you care to offer some advice for the smaller-than-average men married to larger-than-average women?
Between oral, manual and toys, we have different ways of giving each other satisfaction, but sometimes I’d wish we could make the good old-fashioned penetration work for us.
I think we’ll try your “knees towards tits” position. Do you have other suggestions?
Thanks.
Woman on top is good for men with smaller penises, and also allows for manual clitoral stimulation. Knees alongside tits is good as well, and rear-entry (“doggie style”) can be, with one caveat: it won’t work well if the woman is generously endowed in the derriere. This can be mitigated somewhat if she is flexible and can get on her knees while pressing her bosom as flat against the mattress as she can; it also helps if the man crouches to penetrate instead of getting on his knees. And of course, there’s also anal sex; a smaller penis is actually an advantage in that activity.
Wow, that was fast!
Thanks again!
well i was born with pretty servere hypospadias, about 8 cm erect, even though i am above 5cm, as stated in the article, penetration can be difficult
i really enjoyed reading this article
oh, and i am a pretty thin guy too
hello maggie, here is a question for you, if i measure from my testicles to the tip of my penis (bottomside) when erect i am about 6 cm, but if i measure from my abdomen to the tipof my penis (topside) it is about 8, does that make sense? so how large would you say i am, are you familiar with hypospadias?
thanks
I have been on this planet for 54 years and almost never do I hear women discuss mens’s bodies as beautiful – only as how they perform. It amazes me that there is not one female who can figure out how this is connected to her love life problems.
A thoughtful conclusion, indeed. They come in all shapes and sizes!! Interesting read.
Hi Maggie
My wife and I have had real problems with this: She had 2 previous partners and it included a black guy from Congo and the 1st was a pakistani dude. When she (not casually) mentioned that her pak. partner was thicker than mine, and her congo one was longer and thicker, I just, until this day, I cannot be at peace with her in bed or other stuff in our relationship. . She never struggled to cum with these guys, but she almost always has to finger herself (clit) to cum with me. She now changed her story since she realized that the sizes of her exes were ‘putting pressure’ on me. Now she keeps insisting that she was wrong about their sizes, – that it prob only LOOKED bigger cos he was black or something. I explained to her that if mine and the congo guy were the same (as she claims now) then when she first saw mine, she would have thought that mine was HUGE yea? since he is like 6 foot tall and I am only 1.7meters tall. But her first comments on mine (when asked directly) was that mine is THIN & LONG. I measured mine, after off and on months of penis squeezing workouts, and I think I gained around 1.8cm in girth since 2011 December, and I am now roughly 16.5cm bone pressed and 13.8cm erect girth. She thinks my dick is NORMAL now but she doesnt know i was working out…. I am typing this in a hurry and would love to explain exactly what is disturbing me with regards to my length and girth and my wife vs her two stallion ex lovers. At the top of my penis, I measure the width at 4.9cm or just about 5cm wide, but it kind tapers toward my hip bone which looks normal to me. Basically, I want to know why did my wife first describe her exes as longer and thicker and now only does she thinks mine is fine, And is it cos she had bigger dicks than my measurements that she almost always has to finger her clit with me? Is it to feel my dick better, or is it cos my dick is simply too weak in length and girth for her satisfaction…. she did a few kegels in the last year, off and on again, but I dont think it helps, she doesnt even experience the effects other women say they have with kegels, like enhanced orgasms or easier orgasms…. Im qute a mess at this point, and WE both really love each other and we having a kid soon…. This is really messing me up, and I feel really severely depressed around her cos of her exes, who messed up my love life… thats how I feel…. I will explain better if you let me…O, one more thing, she apparently says I have the best shape, of course she’d say that since she loves me right? and doesnt want to hurt me anymore with this issue?? Thanks for your time.
Some guys are going to have bigger dicks than yours, and some are going to have smaller. A woman of any experience will probably have encountered both.
Your wife should’ve been careful what she said and how she said it, because we guys, we’re kind of goofy when it comes to out wangs. Worse than women with their boobs, and that’s saying something. But what has been said has been said, and you’re going to have to make friends with you closest friend, if you catch my drift.
I’m not meaning to say “just get over it,” because if it were that easy, you’d’ve done it a long time ago. But you’re going to have to make peace with your anatomy somehow, because whatever may be possible in virtual worlds or in fifty years, right now you’ve only got one penis, and you need to be friends with it.
Do you know why your wife has to touch her clit to get off during sex? Because about 75% of women NEED clitoral stimulation to orgasm. The biggest dick in the world won’t change that! It is pretty unusual for any woman to not need clitoral stimulation; only about 25% of women have a functional “G-Spot” which is responsible for the elusive “vaginal orgasm”.
To reiterate: your dick size has NOTHING to do with your wife’s need for clitoral stimulation. She would still stroke her clit even if your cock looked like a baseball bat! & while she may have experienced a *slightly* bigger dick, so what? She picked the one attached to YOU.
Sailor was right; it’s also the only penis you get, & you can’t change your dick size. You have 2 choices: you can continue being miserable, or you can DECIDE to accept your dick just the way it is, & celebrate the pleasure it gives you & your wife.
Another thought; if she’s changing her story about who is/was bigger, it’s probably because her sex memories have been replaced by memories of YOU.
Good luck. & never EVER neglect the clitoris.
Thanks…
This story is useful. I think Black guys are the ones who have the longest penis. Asian men have shortest penis. However, it is different in how tall a man is. Some tall guys have short penis while short guys have long penis. Anyway, the penis size is not everything to get a woman satisfied. It is also about the girth as well. So, I think size does matter to some women.
You are incorrect about black guys; there is no difference on average. Any sex worker could tell you that.
I’d really like to ask you something that has been bothering me. I wouldn’t mind if i’m on the smaller side I just can’t comprehend that statistics show that my erect size (6.5 length, 5.1 circumference) is normal, length even above average yet flaccid everyone seems bigger, even the other ‘growers’. Do these statistics lie or what’s going on? Also, is my girth enough to satisfy most women? Your honesty will be appreciated.
Statistics in and of themselves don’t lie. If you are above average, then you are even if porn has made you think otherwise.
Remember than porn uses good old fashioned movie magic to make peniseseses look huge. For instance, a dork poking straight into the camera, trimming or shaving pubic hair, and some of these men aren’t very tall. A six or seven inch penis looks a lot bigger on a man who’s five-foot-six than it would on a man who’s six-foot-five.
Oh wow, I’ve already said this, on this post. Ah well.
My penis grows insanely several times when it gets erect. If you look at it when it’s flaccid you’d say it’s way below average. Erect it’s around 12.5 cm long and (amusingly) the same circumference. I was discussing this with my partner the other day and I believe she ‘s right when she when she said it grows over 10 times when compared to the size when flaccid. It can be kind of annoying when other men see it in those collective showers and start making fun but I’m fine with it, it’s easier to just ignore such morons when you have a girl screaming for you during some wild sex (hah! as if, both of us don’t have that much physical prowess). cheers
It is a nice article about the human penis size. I think 14 cm penis is just right for an Asian girl. For a Western girl, do you think it is too short to reach all sensitive areas of a woman?
hey maggie…i have a question….can a penis that is 5.9 inch ( 15 cm ) in girth ,be considered thick ? from a scale from 1 to 10…how thick is it ?
Women make a mistake, if they speak about the cock.size. They only notice the external part, by themselves they always emphasize the internal part of their clits. All right me ladies, let you know we have an internal part to, it is running till near the anus. So if a cock is stiff, it measure easily 25 cm!
You also make an unjust judgement about the nerves of the cock. You count the nerves of the glans, surely it are only 4000 nerves, but the must are located inside the foreskin. So our most feelings are below the glans and not like the women, which have the most pleasure directly at their glans.
It`s very stupid of US-culture to cut off the male foreskin, this is telling you an European.
May I want to know what is the difference beetwen circumised and uncircumised penis at the time of intercourse whether circumised is more better than uncircumised. My 2-3 girls told me that circumised is best and hard and circumised penis head is more attractive and looks better than uncircumised with big foreskin which is full of smell and looks pig mouth,is it true.
Most women who express a preference prefer a circumcised penis. Some don’t care and a small fraction prefer uncircumcised, but the group who report preferring uncircumcised usually also report only having had sex with men who had uncircumcised ones; they also, interestingly, tend to report an aversion to oral sex. The majority of women with experience of both types prefer circumcised.
In the United States and some other Western countries circumcision has become a controversial procedure in the past few years; I’ve even been told by irate “intactivists” (as they style themselves) that women are not allowed to have an opinion. As a woman who had breast augmentation surgery in order to be more attractive to men, I personally find that notion hilarious.
Men have the equivalent of clitoral/vaginal orgasms. Also male multiple orgasms are possible if the man is “vaginal”, same as in women. If the focus of the man is towards the tip of his penis, then he is at the clitoral stage of development. If the focus is towards the base of the penis (even better, deep inside his body), then he is at the vaginal stage of development.
Male circumcision is good because it tends to push the focus away from the tip of the penis towards the base and thus “vaginalize” the man. There is something to be said for additionally scaring the tip of the penis so as to desensitize it, provided this didn’t affect ability to get solid erections. I haven’t tried scaring the tip of my penis, mainly I just work at the mental level to short-circuit all sensation from the tip of my penis.
I don’t think circumcision or other scaring of the penis should be performed on minors. It should wait until the male is an adult.
Hi Maggie. I am married to call girl and unfortunately the experience suggests that some of what you have mentioned about elasticity doesn’t seem to stack up in her case. Im 7.5 inches in length and 5 inches in girth at the widest point. I have never been referred to as small. Sometimes large, sometimes average but never small.
Even with my erection at its peak, hardest, stiffest etc when she is completely turned on and wet, there is literally no resistance or friction. Often I am unable to cum from penetrative sex with her. This dates back to the first time we had sex. 2 days before the first time I had sex with her, I had slept with another girl who had made me come 3 times for the night so initially whilst I was concerned about the lack of friction, I partly blamed my difficulty in reaching orgasm with her on that (however after a lot of effort on my part I got there in the end). 2 weeks before she had slept with me for the first time, she had slept with 2 clients in one night who compared to me were huge. She went without sex for 5 months in an effort to tighten up to make things better doing kegal exercises etc. No difference after 5 months. I have an upwards curve and so from behind with her on her stomach, in missionary or on top, I seem to have no problem making her orgasm vaginally. Something unbelievably she says she had never experienced before me on the first night we slept together. (Guess thats why she quit the business and married me.)
The problem is, when she is not that turned on, she is reasonably tight vaginally however when she gets wet, her vagina seems to expand past the point of snug fit to the point of feeling nothing but air when going in. I am unable to feel any part of her inside wall straight on. We have tried various angles. Nothing works. It can get so bad, that eventually I go soft from lack of resistance and friction. My only safety net is the fact that I can fairly easily give her a vaginal orgasm. She also suffers from vaginal farts. A problem not exclusive to me. Even during oral sex, the more she gets turned on, the more the entrance seems to expand. I can literally feel it on my tongue. Because of her frequent orgasms (19 in one night) and the muscle clenching that goes with it, I would have expected things to get better in the grip department but when wet, there is literally nothing. I am writing to you because I love my wife and I know she loves me very much and is devasted that as a result of her past, she lacks the resistance in side to give me any feeling. Like you she is experienced with all shapes and sizes but she never thought it would cause a problem like this, We need help. On the occassions that I have been able to cum, I have to be so forceful it feels like I am raping her and even then, there is hardly any resistance. It becomes more about using my imagination to cum rather than the reality of how it really feels. Even after a long time away from the business, she was able to fit thick deodorant can up there with ease. This made me feel far less than average.
I have suggested we try a penis sleeve but although she is willing to try, I think the results maybe humiliating for both of us.
Do you have any suggestions? I would love to speak to you in person over the phone or direct through email if possible.
None of that has anything to do with her job or relative level of sexual experience; some women are just naturally larger inside, just as some men have naturally large penises. On the other hand, I’m very small inside and all my experience has not affected that in any way. Different people are simply different, and y’all are genitally “mismatched” just like some couples’ relative heights makes dancing awkward. Since you have no trouble getting her to orgasm orally, why doesn’t she return the favor for you? You can have intercourse for a while just for the sensation, then she can finish you by one of the other means at her disposal. Y’all might also try anal, or if she’s uncomfortable with that there’s “outercourse” (your penis between her thighs). It’s unfortunate that y’all are physically a bit mismatched, but y’all can still have a great sex life with a little imagination and willingness to experiment.
Hi Maggie
thank you so much for coming back to me. I actually have no problem making her orgasm from penetrative sex. That’s where the 19 orgasms figure came from. She is the one that blames the industry because she believes that prior to the industry she was a lot smaller in the vagina department. Shes not so good on oral with me but willing to try. She is also willing to try anal.
I do take on board that we are a complete mis match.
I guess I was just hoping that given your knowledge and experience, that you would be able to suggest other things to make the penetrative aspect better for both of us.
After speaking to her yesterday from my understanding, its like she gets the icing on the cake but not the cake itself. In other words she gets the orgasm at the end but not the feeling of snug fit build up prior to the orgasm.
Thank you for all your help and if you do think of anything else, please let me know.
Hello Maggie. I would just like to say, this article is very well written. Your English is most certainly on point and your grammar, punctuation and everything is really wonderful. I must say, I was not expecting to see such excellent vocabulary and writing skills as well, from an Escort. I always have thought such women are not the brightest, but really I feel as if you have broken a stereotype here! Also I like how you have explained things so clearly and precisely. And also the fact that you wrote about a topic like this with so much of class and spoke in such a dignified manner. I must say, also, I am very happy to have come across your Blog and most certainly I am a follower now as I too have a blog on wordpress! I look to forward to reading your posts whenever i log into my account and will try to browse the archives when I have some more time. It shall be thoroughly educational, I know! Also its nice that you spoke in metric measurements, as I come from a metric country aswell! Is difficult for me to really understand inches over here.
The reason how I came across your blog, was when I searched google trying to find out if a 19cm penis is really that big. The thing is, I am still a virgin and really I don’t think I know much about sex. Well I know what it is in theory and from an intellectual point of view, I mean I’m not that slow. However I am nearly 27 years old, and I have never been with a boy before. I had a crush on a former female facebook friends’ boyfriend. Needless to say, she and I are no longer friends. He and I however, are now friends. And he even told me that he likes me. And he flirts with me sometimes.I like it when he calls me ‘darling’ and says I’m ‘sexy’ and ‘pretty’. I really feel i am totally in love with him. He is Canadian and I am a hindustani. We have not met in person yet, but I have sent him pictures of myself, at his request. Recently. he was upset with me, for posting some of the pictures I had sent him, onto my blog. They were very personal photographs, and I only did it to try and make him angry. Anyway.He recently sent me a picture of his penis. Prior to this he told me hes 19 cm, when I had asked him how big is it. I must say, it looks really big though. Possibly about 22 cm maybe. In the photo hes holding it with one hand and he likely has hands much bigger than mine. So anyway if i hold a ruler with both my hands, it should reach 19 cm. But if he were to hold his penis with both his hands, i think it would be over 20 cm. I don’t really know how to explain this. The point is he really is quite big in my eyes. Anyway. The thing is, I’m scared to have sex. And what i really want to ask, Miss Maggie, is that, is sex painful the first time? im really afraid. I kind of dread ever having to have sex actually. I would much rather fantasize about him, because actually being with him might terrify me! Also I feel I really love this boy. I dream about him all the time. I wish he would bring me to Canada and marry me. And give me a baby and we can live happily ever after. I never thought I would ever fall in love with someone online. I really don’t know if i have any romantic potential with a boy like him or if hes just bored and talks to me only when he is bored. I cry a lot when I think about him especially when he punishes me by ignoring me when i make him upset. Also, I don’t understand why do people not believe me when i tell them that i am a virgin still? I thin k people find it hard to believe that I have never been with a man and that I have never had a boyfriend. But still i don’t understand why its so hard to believe. Anyway i find it really hard to understand this this boy. Hes younger than me (only 21 years old) but hes very mature for his age. He really is my dream man! all my life i feel as if he is everything I have dreamt of! But still i dont know where i really stand with him. I wonder if you understand what im trying to say? I really dont know how to put it, you know. Anyway, if you could give me some advice about anything ive written here, i would really appreciate it alot. I have no one i can actually talk to about this. and id really like to know what you think about ‘online’ relationships. Will he ever bring me to canada? Or am i just wasting my time thinking about him endlessly? I know some of this is off topic, but i would value your opinion very much seeing as you are a married lady and also sexually experienced. He has had alot of girlfriends i think. He told me he virginity is important to him. but really, i dont know….
okay ive blabbered long enough now. I doubt any of this even makes sense…Thank you for reading if you have. Please do reply to me if you can. Also if anyone else here wants to reply, i will appreciate it too.
Sincerely, ‘scared virgin’……….
I wish I could tell you that sex isn’t usually painful the first time, but it very often is and every factor you’ve mentioned – his size, his (much too young) age, your (advanced for a virgin) age, your inexperience and your fear – will tend to exacerbate that. So will the fact that he is NOT, despite what you think, mature for his age; punishing love-interests by ignoring them or just using them to alleviate boredom are NOT the marks of a mature or caring man, and frankly neither is sending out dick pics to women he isn’t actually involved with. I know that you won’t believe me when I tell you that you aren’t in love with him; you are infatuated with him, which is a horse of a different color. You aren’t especially drawn to this man for his personality or self, but because he pays attention to you, and for a woman who hasn’t had that kind of attention often enough, it can be extremely intoxicating and judgment-eroding. I’m not saying relationships that start on the internet can’t work because I know some that have, but I am saying that such relationships involve many difficulties that you, inexperienced as you are, are unlikely to handle well. My suggestion is that you open yourself to meeting men locally in whatever way is acceptable in your culture; you still might fall in love too quickly and end up with a man who treats you badly, but if that happens you’ll at least be close to friends and family rather than stranded on another continent with a man you’re completely dependent upon. Ironically, you’re afraid of the part – the physical sex act – that is really no big deal, yet ready to rush pell-mell into the part – marriage and childbirth – which can really get you badly hurt or even killed. Sure, first-time sex can hurt; in fact, ten-thousandth time sex can hurt, and since my vagina is quite small I experience pain nearly every time I have sex with an unusually large or rough partner. Sometimes it’s even a lot of pain. But physical pain is transitory and, unless severe and chronic, doesn’t really have much effect on one’s life. Emotional pain, by contrast, can be both devastating and have long-lasting and far-reaching effects. I suggest you re-examine your priorities, try not to dwell on fear or simple physical pain and instead think long and hard about the real and profound danger of severe emotional and spiritual (and sometimes physical) pain that accompanies a bad, hastily-made marriage to a poorly-chosen man.
Dear Miss Maggie. Thank you soooo much for responding and soooo quickly too! i appreciate it tremendously! …I must say, as hard as it is for me to admit this, i think you are right about alot of points you have mentioned. But also i know you have commented based on the information i have given you. i unerstand you can not make a full judgement as you do not have all the facts, the details are too much to go into. but i will try to elaborate a little for your further understanding. Sometimes i wonder if i really do love him. But there have been times when i too have felt it was infatuation. A part of me feels infatuation is love because i dont feel intuated by most men. Also there have been alot of boys and also men, some younger and older than me aswell who have shown romantic interest for the most part of my life since i was teenager. everywhere i go i get compliments on my ‘beauty’, and men have even offered to take my virginity just to let me experience sex ( a few i have spoken to on a frioendship basis know that i am a virgin after i told them so) and people struggle to understand why someone like me isnt married yet. i do get alot of attention actually from a wide variety of races of men aswell and a wide variety of ages. this attention, for me is intoxicating and its turned me into a narcissist actually. just beceause i am a virgin at nearlly 27 doesnt mean its because there has been lack of sexual interest in me.there have even been some men who have said they desire me onky for sex and woulnt want to pursue an active relationship with me. this i find to be very hurtful as i feel, nearly all my life i have been out onto a pedastal and sexually objectified just becasue i look a certain way.honestly i dont know the answer to all this, but its mainly because i am very shy too in most instances. Also virginity is important to me- i want to be a virgin on my wedding day and i want the man that i may marry to be able to say that he married a virgin bride. Also i feel i should save myself for the man i really want to give my virginity to.however, with most of these men the feeling isnt mutual-that is why i have halted communication with them. in fact i get really annoyed when people show interest in me as im not always open to it. in fact i struggle to understand why i am so attractive to men…i dont think i have a difficulty meeting men, but the interest is lacking on my part as im very picky when it comes to what i like or find attractive in a man, and i feel most men just arent suitable for me based on this ‘mental checklist’ that i have. When this boy began to talk to me and show further interest and started to flirt with me, i welcomed it, because i felt that i already was in love with him. he is everything i want in a man and so much more. also i feel we really click in terms of personality and looks and intelligence. technically our “compatibility’ looks good on paper so to speak, but i wonder if this would translate into compatibility in real life?I have asked him if he loves me-and he told me love takes time. this is understandable. i suppose he likes me but is still unsure about me. Also he told me i was being too forcefull with him when i would refuse to let the conversations he would start with me, go the way he intends for the conversation to go. But i will admit, i was forcefull with him alot in other situations. also i am bipolar and suffer from severe depression and sometimes when he would try to initiate a ‘normal’ conversation with me sometimes i would be forcefull with him and also i get mood swings alot. i feel as if my numerous mental issues put a strain on the friendship.also whenever i upset him, i always appologise alot and always say, sorry, sorry, sorry…. but it takes him very long to forgive me and also punishes me by ignoring my countless messages which makes me cry alot and hurts my feelings. Also when he read my blog, he assumed there are men who have sent me pictures of their penises and i think he just wanted to show me how big he is! Also when i posted some of the pictures i took especially for him onto my blog, he was very upset- i told him i was trying to make him jealous and it was my intention to upset him by doing so. also i told him, just because other boys and men look at my pictures, doesnt mean that i like them or they will have my affections. and that he is the only one i want. and anyway looking is just that-they cannot touch me and i wouldnt want them to. he then sent me a message that same day, saying he went to get his hair cut the same day-and the hairdresser was flirting with him alot and he suspects she took extra long to do his hair, just so she could keep running her fingers through it! ofcourse i was quite infuriated and it made me jealous that some woman gets to run her fingers through his hair and i cant, given the fact how much i fantasize about him and the physical distance between us. i know he tried to make me jealous. but also when i think of it now this was very childish of him, especially because he knows by now how sensitive i am. also, i dont have much of a family,or even strong freindships or people i feel i can turn to in times of diificulty. i am an orphan and lost my both my parents before i was 24 years old. i dont have parental guidance anymore in my life and i miss my mamma alot as i have no one i ask for advice from or tell personal private issues to.basically i only recieve some finacial support from my “family” and that is all. if i committed suicide tomorrow they likely wouldnt give a fuck.honestly it really doesnt matter which part of the world my future husband would live in. i was born in india, and raised in russia and now live in south africa. I am not full hindu and have some slavic blood down the line. there are many relatives here, but i have very little to no contact with these people. i fully understand the points you made and i understand where you coming from. my situation is so complicated. you dont know the half of it and i struggle on a daily basis to figure out the direction my life is going in…. so many men are touchy about the size of their cock- they only want to prove a point, especially when, they are above average. and this canadian boy is definitely above average. lol. also virginty is such a difficult issue. in society so much stress is placed on a womans virginity but men are not held to this same standard. if a woman sleeps around then she is a ‘whore’ but if a man does it, hes just being a man or a ‘player’ which is ‘acceptable’?! also as women we often stand in judgement of each other. as a virgin i feel judgemental of my peers who are not virgins. in fact recently a girl i went to high school with , recently got married. she was a whore since she was likely 12 years old maybe even younger. everyone in the school knew just how loose she was. and yet she finds a man who actually wants to marry her and commit himself to her for the rest of his life. i find this appaling as it makes me feel sad about who i am and that perhaps i am just not enough. This canadian has expressed virginity is important to him. but really i doubt its important to most men. i really dont know if sexual reputation is that important anymore. afterall who gives a fuck what anyone thinks about anyone else anymore. im sorry for going on like this. also please forgive my bad typing and punctuation. i struggle to type on computer and english is not my first language. i thank you for your time miss maggie. xo
I can’t add, as far as advice is concerned, anything to what Maggie has said. I am at heart a romantic and want to believe that relationships can work, which makes me a lousy person to ask ‘should I go for it.’ So I won’t say yes or no to that.
I have no problem believing that you are still a virgin, but this is because I know an older one. Sometimes people don’t believe her, saying that there is no way a woman her age is still a virgin. Well, I believe her, and if you knew her you’d believe her too. I’ve offered to change that for her, but she isn’t interested. 🙁
What I can do is to wish you the best of luck in whatever choice you make. Please, if you decide to go to Canada, be careful. Have a way to get back home. While it would be wonderful if the two of you fell into each others’ arms in a love for the ages, you can’t know for sure that that would happen. You say yourself that you are not sure how he feels about you.
And if you decide to stay where you are and seek your romantic fortune there, then may your search be fruitful. May you find a man who can appreciate you, and all you have to offer.
hi. thank you so much for replying as well i appreciate it tremendously! im happy you believe i am a virgin. somehow i feel we live in a hypersexualised society. so most people struggle to understand how any person can be a virgin after 16 years of age. this not fair as not everyone is the same. if most people who got to know me, they would also understand the fact that i have never had sex before. just as you know your friend. im sorry she doesnt want to have sex with you. i too have had offers in the past to give my virginity away-i havent. lol. i think sometimes online relationships do actually work. i have a friend from back in russia who met some 0ne via the mail order bride website. they got married very quickly and are very happy together now. also i ever got to canada i can only wonder how i would leave as i dont have any money?lol in fact i would be lucky to get there in the first place! lol but really i in understand your point. i know its dangerous. i dont knwo what direction my life will take. relationships are so complicated or maybe im too complicated…you seem like a nice person. thank you for all your kind words-i appreciate it sooo much. i wish for you only the best aswell. please have a lovely day. 🙂
I’m glad I was able to say something useful. The fact that you sought advice from a call girl speaks well of you. You were able to see past stereotypes.
I don’t take it personally that my friend doesn’t want to have sex with me; it’s not as if she’s having sex with everybody else, and I alone am deemed unworthy.
In the past, I had a girlfriend who was bipolar. That can be difficult to live with, for both people. It takes a special kind of man to be in a relationship like that. But you do sound like a woman well worth making the effort for.
About you not being able to get to Canada, or if you got there being able to get back out. Could he perhaps come to you? This would give you a chance to get to know him in person without running the risk of being stranded in North America. Of course I understand that he might not be able to afford a trip like that either; I know I couldn’t. It’s just something I thought of.
Hello. it is lovely to hear from you again. and yes your comment was indeed very kind. You seem so understanding of me. This is a lot more than i get from that boy… Actually i cant believe i asked advice from a prostitute! but miss maggie seems to be an intelligent and articulate woman. if this is what it means to seek advice from someone like her, than i am proud to have done so! aside from sexual experience she seems to have a lot of life experience im sure, as well as a lot of valuable insight. also she is very good writer i think! at this point i am considering asking her for writing advice as well, because i am new to blogging and really it is not as easy most people think it is and ive noticed her posts are very well written!… I think her intelligence really has broken a solid societal generalisation, and yes im glad i could look beyond “appearances”, which is unfortunate that many people cannot…
Aah. yet again. you have shown understanding of me! at least you have had experience of someone who is bipolar on a personal level. it is indeed very hard for me live with myself. i am on medication but still my mood swings are very erratic at times and i cry alot for no apparent reason and my emotions really wreak havoc with my already fragile mental state. sometimes i think, if it is this hard for me to live with myself, how can i possibly expect anyone else to? i fear that i may never get married. but i think by now i have already written marriage off…
About that boy… we havent spoken in a while. he is still punishing me apparently?! lol… he reads my messages but he will not respond? i believe i am done with him now. miss maggie was right-he is not even half as mature as i thought he was… and his behaviour towards me most certainly isnt the mark of “a caring and mature man’ as dear maggie has put it… i feel heartbroken… at one point when i asked him what does he really want in a woman, to which he replied, ‘me’… also he made it seem as if he would like to marry a virgin. he sort of mentioned marriage when we spoke a few weeks ago. and said ‘my husband should get a handful of hapinness everytime he grabs my butt’! lol … he took interest in me and now the interest is no more… which really breaks my heart when i think about it…. the thought of him being with that annoying bitch he calls his gf really makes me cringe because i still feel we belong together… it shall likely take a while for me to let go of him, and perhaps more so the idea really of ‘us’ being together… i cry so much you know?…
i have given him my address. i wonder if he will ever come to me? he is not too keen on a visit to deepest darkest africa any time soon i think. we had spoken about him bringing me to canada. i really dont know what his financial situation is- but i assumed from the start that he likely comes from a wealthy family. that bitch of a woman hes with is very stupid and she cannot even read and write! she is just using him and his parents and they are too blind to see it. she spun him a pathetic story about how evil her mother is towards her and he took her in??!! she has other family she can turn to. but nooooo she wants to use him… not that he isnt getting anything out of the situation. i bet hes using for her for sex.i doubt shes any good in bed and probably has a loose vagina. as big as his penis is, it probably gets lost inside there!!!
anyway ive decided if he cannot even take the time to understand my mental health situation and all the hardship i have gone through in my life, then i most certainly dont want a husband like that who is going to be mean towards me and not take the time for me inside his heart to understand who i am… but he wants to rather understand and pity that stupid loose bitch hes fucking, and they are just no match for each other, physically, mentally, intellectually. he is miles ahead of her. but it seems to me his standards are very low and this speaks volumes about the ‘man’ that he is…
If the two of you are through, perhaps it is as well. I don’t doubt that you can do better.
The bipolar woman I dated was not taking medication when I knew her, though the last I heard from her she was talking to a doctor about it. While I haven’t seen her or heard from her in years, I don’t regret being a part of the relationship. I feel that I came out of it a better man than when I went in. I like to think it was a plus in her life as well, and I saw some evidence that it might have been.
And I think that you are coming out of this stronger than you went in, judging by what you have written here.
Maggie would be a fine one to ask advice on blogging. The more of her stuff you read the more you’ll see that. Just don’t ask me! LOL My writing is very inconsistent. Maggie’s the one to ask.
I’m no expert, but I wonder if some of those pudgy guys with very small dicks and balls might have had Kleinfelter’s Syndrome. Instead of the usual male XY genotype, guys with Kleinfelter’s are XXY. They have three sex chromosomes, whereas usually humans have only two of each chromosome. (Males are XY, females are XX.)
As I understand it, guys with Kleinfelter’s usually look like the guys you described. They’re usually raised as males and identify as males. Very often they discover that they have Kleinfelter’s only when they get married and try to have kids and find that they’re infertile. It’s the most common form of intersexuality. Again, I’m no expert. But your description made me wonder.
I’m actually one of those tiny guys [penis length unaroused around 2 cm (about 1″), and 5-6 cm fully erect]. I’m tall, fit, and otherwise very healthy looking, and it has come as a surprise to the women who let me enter their lives witg physical intimacy. I learned, like your physician client from Texas at the other end of the bell curve that I had to disclose it upfront, because the surprise of my unusual size was often far worse than the simple fact of it.
Given my physical situation and general curiosity as a person, I’ve read widely on this subject (genital variation and variability), and your posting here is both very informative and very well written. I could add some of what I’ve leaned both through personal experience and through reading of credible sources and sometimes engaging their authors, but it’s your blog and you’ve covered this well.
Hey,
Thank you for addressing this topic. I have been searching for this answer for a little while now. In your opinion based on experience, how many men would you say have a 7 inch penis or bigger? Like 50 percent of all your partners? Or just 20 percent? I’ve always wondered how many men really have 7 inch penises because many mem do claim to be that big and even though many if not most lie, there are so many women that say they had more than one partner with 7 inch penises or bigger so I’ve presumed that 7 inch penises can’t be that uncommon. What do you think about this? What has been your experience with the amount of 7 inch penises or bigger? By that question what I mean is, based on your sole experience, how many are 7 or bigger? I think 30-45% with the other half being smaller taking the average to 14 centimeters.
When her husband had her….
Gee, sounds kinda like working all day in a restaurant then being expected to cook when you got home.
Hi Maggie – your article and subsequent replies to people are very informative. Thanks for starting thus blog and sharing your experience on one of the most misunderstood topics. I have query which you might help with an answer. Whenever I have sex with my wife I can go long when I do it in the same position from beginning to end. However, for a change if I withdraw in between and change position e.g. from missionary to rear entry, i cum soon after I enter in the new position. Did you ever experienced such a thing with anybody? Is this a normal thing? Pl suggest.
Thanks for an articulate and compassionate series of field observations!
I’m a retired swinger, so have had above average opportunities to make similar observations, if not as much as you have!
I have an unusually deep vagina (I had a 90mm diaphragm, my gyne kept going up sizes until she ran out, lol), so my experiences with larger and longer dicks have been different than yours.
Most people need reassurance about their genitalia, knowing how much variation is normal should help many to feel better about themselves.
OMG! This is the first time I’ve ever read anything that comes close to describing the situation with my own vagina – I, too, have a very small, very tight vagina with a recessed (and extremely small) clitoris. I’ve only ever been able to see it once and it hurt me somewhat to pull the hood back and push the rest of my skin down far enough to see it protrude.
Like you, I also prefer missionary position because it gives me the ability to control the depth of penetration (especially because I prefer men with above average penis length and girth). It feels like because my clitoris is so small, the nerve endings are more concentrated and it’s just a LOT more sensitive than other women’s. I have had to educate every single partner I’ve been with, male or female, on how to approach it with their fingers and/or mouth. Luckily, and perhaps because of the sensitivity of my clitoris, I have absolutely no problem achieving climax through penetration alone. And it is very easy for me to cum within literally a few seconds to a minute if I don’t do anything to prolong it.
I guess I’m just wondering if you have had any similar experiences with your own tiny clit? Or have any advice on how I can be more straightforward and educated about what it is I experience as someone with a smaller than average clit and vulva/vagina? Direct pressure is an absolute no no for me – the 2nd and 3rd fingers are what I advise using, with a gentle pressure applied in a circular motion above my clitoral hood and where the clitoris is recessed. Truthfully, I have only achieved orgasm once in my life through clitoral stimulation alone but honestly, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything because the ones I get from penetration are full-body, entire-vagina rocking explosions that leave me pulsing in pleasure and clamping down extremely tight and hard. I just want to be able to enjoy oral sex without crushing my partner’s head between my thighs because I’m tensing up so much from the over sensitivity or making anyone feel like they don’t know what they’re doing when they attempt moves that have worked on other women.
Thanks so much for this article! It was a joy to read and I hope you’re still seeing these comments!