Fictional Interlude: Glorious Gifts

The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside.  -  Homer, Iliad (III, 65)

Every June I’ve published a story of Aella, a young Amazon warrior of the mythic past; the first one was “A Decent Boldness” and the second “A Haughty Spirit”.  And though you might be able to enjoy this one without having read those, you’ll probably understand what’s going on a lot better if you get to know the lady’s previous history first.

Asteria send me guidance tonight, for I am afraid.

I who alone of this living generation travelled West to the very end of the Earth, bathed in the waters of Keto and returned to tell the tale; I who walked in the ancient places of our people, rescued my dearest friend from the hands of barbarians and protected us both from the beasts of the wilderness; I who lived among strangers for five years and brought much of the learning of the Outer World back to the Motherland:  I am more frightened than I have ever been since earning the title of warrior.  For tomorrow, I must face the Council of Elders, thirteen grey old veterans of battles fought before my mother was born, and defend my conduct before them.

But for the life of me, O Blessed Goddess, I cannot fathom why what I did should have shocked the others so.  True, it was a new idea, but what of that?   Why was I brought home through so many dangers if not to share the knowledge and the ideas of our sisters across the sea?  Harmothoe says my mind was addled by my time in Man’s World, but she’s simply jealous because I returned from my journey with enough wealth to buy a farm and enough slaves to work it, while she’s stuck toiling on our mother’s place.  I offered to lend her my slaves this winter to clear new land, but that won’t win her the respect and admiration I’ve enjoyed since my return, nor an invitation to visit the Queen’s palace next month so that I can tell her of my adventures.  Of course, if the hearing goes against me tomorrow I may see her sooner than that, though as a prisoner rather than an honored guest.

And all this fuss over something so completely stupid.  Are not health, strength, beauty, wisdom and skill at arms gifts of the goddesses?  And are we not to use those gifts to improve our places in the world?  Don’t the more beautiful and distinguished among us have greater choice among the Scythian men at the Spring Festival?  After all, our Princess Penthesilia is the daughter of their King Arius, not of some lowly tradesman; our Queen sought out the best sire available when she was ready to bear the child who would succeed to her throne.  And though I am not of noble blood, yet my company was highly sought by the men this year for the same reason my Amazon sisters have sought it since my return: though men and women differ in many ways, we all love a good story and many of both sexes seek to borrow prestige by association when they cannot win it for themselves.

But all that attention was a mixed blessing; with so many men competing to mate with me this year, how was I to choose one?  I’m no mere girl to be impressed by a handsome face, and my experience in Man’s World taught me that many a great athlete is also a great fool.  I thought on this as I watched the games and partook in the feasting, and it occurred to me that the best approach would be a practical one.  After all, our motives for mating with the Scythian men are wholly pragmatic in the first place; it stands to reason a pragmatic means of choosing a mate is in order as well.  And one can never have too much wealth, so what could be more sensible than simply announcing that the man who gave me the most generous gift would be the one who could lie with me?  I thought it was a wonderful idea, and the men responded with enthusiasm; the winner gave me six snow-white kine and an equally-beautiful bull.  But to hear my sisters, one would’ve thought I had drunk myself silly and puked on the banquet table.  The next day it was the talk of the town, and by the end of the week…well, here I am.

Goddess, I suppose You know all this already, but it never hurts to summarize; besides, I want You to understand how I saw the matter.  Mother says I’ve disgraced our family, and Aunt Laomache says it just goes to show why Amazons shouldn’t associate with outsiders any more than is strictly necessary.  Granny is the only one who was helpful; she says what this demonstrates is that long periods of peace aren’t good for us, because when there isn’t anything real to fret about people make a big deal out of nothing, and in the absence of an actual enemy they invent imaginary bogeys to get worked up about.  She also said that the council only summoned me to shut up the prattlers, and that if they were truly concerned I would be spending the night under guard rather than lying in my own bed.  Also, Elder Dioxippe is Granny’s best friend, and Granny told me that she had talked it over with her and at least several of the Council were equally unimpressed with the gravity of my so-called sin; she predicted they would direct me to apologize to my family and sacrifice one of the kine to Astarte, and that would be the end of it.

I certainly hope so, but I can’t help worrying.  And that’s why I’m praying about this to You instead of Themis or Metis; there’s no justice in this situation, it seems like thinking logically is what got me into this fix, and perhaps divine inspiration is what’s needed to get me out.  If my punishment is as light as Granny thinks it’ll be, I’ll make a special gift to You; I think I might have conceived by the generous one, and if it’s a girl and I name her for You, she will be a constant reminder of Your grace.

And also of the fact that most people have no respect for pragmatism.

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Wednesday Links

Remember that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return.  -  Genesis 3:19

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the solemn liturgical season of Lent; because Church doctrine formerly forbade the eating of meat (and other indulgences) during the season, “Fat Tuesday” was a sort of last goodbye to meat and other pleasures for the next six weeks.  Even the word carnival (whose meaning has shifted a great deal in English, especially American English) was originally derived from the Old Italian carne levare, “taking meat away”.  And though I’m no longer Catholic, I think the modern world has suffered for the lack of holidays like Ash Wednesday and the Day of the Dead, which were intended to remind us of our own mortality; certainly little tin gods and “safety”-hysterics alike could benefit from such rituals at least semi-annually.  In keeping with that thought, today’s first video (which I discovered on EconJeff‘s website) is a reminder that even one of the great necessities of life can kill you.

Everything down to that video was provided by this week’s top contributor, Jesse Walker; those between the videos were contributed by Popehat (“Twitter felony” and “pulp generator”), Radley Balko (“forbidden fun” and “insane judge”), Dean Clark (“cops at play”), Amy Alkon (“imaginary weapons” and “TSA generator”), Nun Ya (“cop gropes woman” and “illiterate librarian”), Grace  (“handicapped parking”), Aspasia (“spiders”), and Franklin Harris (“Mr. Rogers”).

• Tyrannical valentines.
• Cops pretending to be dead kids.
• It’s nice to see democracy beat fascism once in a while.
• Only Republican maps have the magical power to force people to do evil.

• Arizona politician wants to criminalize parody Twitter accounts, while one in Georgia claims that “No one has a right to make fun of anyone.”
• Entire Miami police squad fired after video shows cops shopping, dining and snogging while ignoring 911 calls.
• High school student suspended for picture of a weapon, and a second-grader for a wholly imaginary one.
• Cop follows pregnant woman, restrains and gropes her, then tries to talk his way into her house.
• Workers paint “handicapped parking” markings around woman’s car, then have it towed.
• Judge declared insane and therefore fit to return to the bench.
• How an illiterate librarian foiled the book-burners.
• The pogrom of August 1^st, 1988.
• Welcome to our world.
• It’s raining spiders in Brazil.
• The TSA statement generator.
• Mr. Rogers meets The Incredible Hulk.
• The customizable pulp magazine cover generator.

From the Archives

• If ignorance about sex is grounds for a court order forbidding it, neofeminists and religious fundamentalists need to start worrying.
• In New Zealand, even prohibiting streetwalkers from working in certain areas requires a new law.
• Most people have the sense not to act out abduction fantasies in public.
• Attractive female cops destroy the lives of high-school boys via trickery.
• Sex cannot be an addiction; those who disagree are selling something.
• African countries which are more civilized about sex work than the US.
• Police violence against whores, and follow-ups to those examples.
• Femen protests are less annoying if you just look at the pictures.
• No matter which direction the cash flows, it’s whores who suffer.
• My little sister’s peerless recipe for chicken and andouille gumbo.
• The tale of an escort who falls in love with a most unusual client.
• The prostitute who didn’t want Charles Dickens to “rescue” her.
• Meet Bethany St. James, Jill Brenneman and a sex worker mom.
• A study identifies the genes that cause gendered behavior.
• Must every strong urge now be described as an addiction?
• A prohibitionist “survivor” attempts to infiltrate my blog.
• Josie Arlington, one of the great madams of Storyville.
• A California woman claims porn can’t be copyrighted.
• Streetwalker accused of “knowingly” spreading HIV.
• Yet another debunking of the “gypsy whores” myth.
• Former madam tries to cash in on prohibitionist lies.
• Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?
• How well-chosen pictures increase blog traffic.
• There’s more than one way to skin a lawhead.
• A priest who campaigns for sex worker rights.
• Whores are no different from everybody else.
• Walking stereotype’s lawsuit is dismissed.
• Wannabe pimp falls for Super Bowl hype.
• Sex, love and money in Cambodia.
• Another “dog bites man” thing.
• All prohibitionism is the same.
• What Would Orrin Hatch Do?
• Potential HIV vaccines.
• Deadly butt injections.

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Mardi Gras 2013

Mardi Gras is the love of life. It is the harmonic convergence of our food, our music, our creativity, our eccentricity, our neighborhoods, and our joy of living.  -  Chris Rose, 1 Dead in Attic

It’s just not possible to explain Mardi Gras to those who have never lived in the New Orleans area, because they absolutely will not get it.  It’s not simply a matter of their never having experienced it, because mere attendance won’t put one into the proper state of mind; I daresay I could sit on a Vieux Carré balcony on Fat Tuesday, guessing whether each person who passed below was a local or a visitor, and achieve over 90% accuracy.  It’s not simply that the visitors are the ones who are either stiff as boards or wildly out of control, nor the fact that most of them don’t wear costumes (I rarely did, either), nor the fact that most of the really obnoxious and/or disgusting drunks are hundreds or thousands of kilometers from home.  All of those things are merely symptoms of the same general aura of Not-Getting-It-ness which manifests itself either in the belief that the holiday is just another excuse to get totally bombed out of one’s skull, or in that ultimate statement of Carnival Cluelessness, “How can a woman expose herself for a string of plastic beads?”  Though the festival has a Christian excuse, it is (like Christmas) wholly pagan; indeed, much of its symbolism and customs have come down through the centuries from the Roman Saturnalia and even older celebrations, and Yule gives way seamlessly to Carnival on King Day.  Carnival is also like Christmas in another important way; it is not a day but a whole season, and having the right spirit is far more important than the observation of any single ritual or combination of traditions.  A person who goes through the motions during Yuletide but doesn’t have the “Christmas spirit” will not have a true experience of the festival, and the exact same thing is true of Mardi Gras.  In a way, the spirit of Mardi Gras is the spirit of New Orleans, and anyone who is unwilling or unable to appreciate her style will never, ever be able to appreciate her signature holiday.

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That Was the Week That Was (#133)

The supposition that all women…engaged in sex work…are the victims of trafficking and under the control of criminal gangmasters is, at best, delusional.  -  Paul Maginn and Graham Ellison

Between the Ears

Dr. Marty Klein explains that it isn’t only women who are ill-served by the medicalization of sexual dysfunction:

As a sex therapist, I see men…who…describe themselves as having…erectile dysfunction.  I say, “So, you don’t get erect when you want to.  Let’s call it that.”  Conceptualizing their situation as ED is frequently part of the problem.  They think their penis is suffering some pathology; more often, the pathology is in their expectations…I ask these men lots…of questions…and…we [often] discover that their uncooperative penis is actually behaving in an understandable, fairly reasonable way…Sometimes Viagra is part of the problem—it reinforces the idea that there’s something wrong with their penis…but if there isn’t…Viagra can’t fix it…

What the Hell Were You Thinking?

Judgy Bitch asks why it’s OK to advise people on how to protect themselves from robbery or worse while travelling (“Pay attention to how you are dressed, Don’t be drunk, Don’t flash your valuables, Keep an eye on who is watching you, Travel with friends, Use your body language to let predators know you are not easy prey [and] If you sense a problem, get the hell out of there”), but giving the exact same advice to young women is “victim blaming”.  Because obviously it’s far more important to sacrifice naïve young women on the altar of feminist politics than to actually help them protect themselves in the real world.

Neither Cold nor Hot

It’s sometimes amusing to watch the debutantes at Jezebel getting the vapors over sex work; this article by Madeleine Davies about sex workers coming to North Dakota in order to fill the woman shortage caused by an oil boom can’t make up its mind whether the men are “Neanderthals” and “criminals”, or the helpless victims of scarlet women “filtering in from across the country to profit off the needs of the desperate male residents.”

Feminine Pragmatism

You’d almost think gossip reporters were historical ignoramuses who didn’t know that up until a century ago, the professions of actress and whore were indistinguishable:

Desperate for money, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan is…working as a professional escort, [said] her father…and other insiders…“The dates last for days, and the guys pay for everything…as well as jewelry and other gifts”… One of Lindsay’s most high profile clients is…Prince Haji Abdul Azim [of Brunei]…and wealthy…painter Domingo Zapata reportedly supported…[her] for months…

It’s That Time Again

Super Bowl time, that is; this year it’s in New Orleans, and though the “authorities” haven’t quite learned not to humiliate themselves with ludicrous “gypsy whore” fantasies, you may have noticed there was a lot less hype about it than before:

…The NOPD…[arrested] two suspected prostitutes and their alleged pimp, while also rescuing [the] 4-year-old…son of one of the suspected prostitutes…Detectives say the group placed ads on…backpage.com, which…is expected to be buzzing with sex solicitation during the Super Bowl and Mardi Gras…[State] Trooper Melissa Matey…said…”We do know those human trafficking cells are attracted to those large scale events, where…there’s gonna be a lot of tourists and…a lot of money to be made”…

I literally laughed out loud at “human trafficking cells”; apparently hookers are equated with terrorists and revolutionaries now.

Don’t Buy It (TW3 #6)

In reference to the “gypsy whores” myth, the Global Alliance Against Traffic in Women asked, “What’s the Cost of a Rumour?”  In the case of the London Olympics, we can now provide an answer:

Scare-mongering over an outbreak of sex trafficking during the Olympics resulted in half a million pounds being wasted…London Assembly Member…Andrew Boff said that just four cases of trafficking were discovered last year – despite an extra £500,000 being diverted to police…“a huge amount of time, money and resources was poured into this search, which turned out to be nothing more than tilting at windmills”…

The Sky is Falling!

Seekingarrangement.com has a clever advertising department; every so often they come out with a “press release” which announces that “more coeds than ever” are signing up as sugar babies.  Of course, the only thing vaguely “new” about this is they’re doing it on a website, but people like to pretend otherwise.  At least these two examples are refreshingly free of moral censure.

The Immunity Syndrome

Alabama state Rep. Patricia Todd…is trying yet again to delete a particularly idiotic provision of Alabama’s sex education law…[which] requires…classes to teach…that gay sex…is a “criminal offense”…[though] that law was invalidated in 2003 by…Lawrence vs. Texas…

Another Small Victory (TW3 #18)

Many sex worker rights activists seem to have misunderstood the implications of the news that “the Supreme Court has agreed to review a First Amendment dispute over whether the United States can force private health organizations to denounce prostitution as a condition to get AIDS funding”; had the Supreme Court refused to hear the government’s appeal, the lower court’s ruling overturning the pledge would have stood.  And while it’s certainly possible that the SCOTUS may leave the ruling intact or even expand it by striking down the ban for international organizations as well (which the first ruling did not), neither outcome is likely considering that this court has firmly established itself as the handmaiden and apologist for the excesses of the executive and legislative branches.  One very odd aspect of the linked article is that the call for total decriminalization by WHO and other UN agencies is described as “support[ing] lesser penalties for prostitution”, which is rather like describing the eradication of smallpox as “lessening the symptoms of the disease”.

Whorearchy

Here’s another woman who does not see herself as supporting state control of women’s lives, bodies and choices:

…I recently told my hairdresser that I was a go-go dancer and she replied by telling me that she would have totally stripped if she were my age but that she “didn’t have the body for it”…Even people at…the club where I primarily work…will put money on my platform as if it’s going to get them a lap dance or something…I’m not trying to be condescending towards strippers…but I…take pride in the fact that while strippers are ultimately hired to give guys boners, I was at least semi-hired for my talent…I don’t deny…that it takes some level of sexuality to be a successful club dancer, but there’s a big difference between wearing a push-up bra…and shoving my tits in some grandpa’s face…

For one who’s “not trying to be condescending”, she sure does a good job.

True Colors

Women With A Vision has purchased a new building to replace the office destroyed by arson, but it’s going to need “massive repairs” and renovation; that’s going to be very expensive, so please consider contributing to further their work in helping poor and marginalized women, including sex workers.

First They Came For the Hookers…

News on two of the ladies from this column who were fired for past sex work:

…Sarah Tressler…[lost] her reporting gig at the Houston Chronicle after…[being] exposed…[as the blogger] “Angry Stripper”…[but] she just landed a new job at The San Antonio Express-News as a breaking news reporter…Stacie Halas, a California…teacher who was fired for her porn star past [and recently lost her appeal] was [also]…offered a new job…[by] Dennis Hof of…[the] Moonlite Bunny Ranch…

Even if Halas is interested in going back to sex work she could do a lot better as an independent escort than by allowing herself to be exploited by Hof or others like him.

Prudish Pedants (TW3 #37)

A federal judge in California thinks it’s a wise use of public funds to lock up a 61-year-old filmmaker for four years for the “crime” of grossing out a cherry-picked group of a dozen people in Los Angeles.  Future law students will marvel at the self-destructive absurdity of our era.

An Example To the West (TW3 #39)

In September, I reported that a Korean whore had submitted a constitutional challenge to her country’s prostitution law; it has now been accepted:

…Judge Oh Won-chan…filed the case with the Constitutional Court after accepting a petition from a 41-year-old prostitute on trial for violating the law…the judge’s request doesn’t question the part of the law that punishes buyers of sex.  “We don’t punish a woman acting as a concubine or a wife for hire,” Oh said…[he] also questioned the effectiveness of the law, saying authorities should focus on punishing brothel owners and pimps…

Let’s hope the Korean government doesn’t respond with Swedish-style legislation, which only makes the struggle for rights more difficult.

The Course of a Disease (TW3 #42)

Criminologist Graham Ellison has written another excellent editorial against criminalization in Northern Ireland, this time with the help of Dr. Paul Maginn of the University of Western Australia:

…The…proposals…are…premised more on ideological and religious beliefs…than a concrete evidence-base…History tells us that prohibition is an ineffective policy remedy…a few simple facts…dispel the stereotypes about sex work…only an exceptionally small proportion [are street workers]…there is no evidence to suggest that sex workers’ drug dependency is greater than the general population…[they] come from all manner of social class and educational backgrounds…the majority…are there because…the pay is…better than what they could get in other occupations…If Lord Morrow is sincere about his intentions to help women involved in ‘prostitution’, he should consider decriminalisation.

Book Reviews (October 2012)

The French edition of Chester Brown’s Paying For It has been chosen by the Angoulême International Comics Festival as an official selection, which will undoubtedly give it more well-deserved attention.  Congratulations, Chester!

Election Day (TW3 #45)

A judge has granted a preliminary injunction against the narrow portion of California’s tyrannical CASE Act which was challenged by the EFF and ACLU:

…Prop 35 is…beset with problems.  The biggest was its requirement that registrants turn over a list of all their Internet identifiers and service providers to law enforcement…the court found that there was a clear chilling effect on speech because registrants would have to disclose their identity either before they speak, or within 24 hours after speaking somewhere online…Allowing the government to monitor and record a wide swath of innocent Internet activity…is a dangerous trend that can easily expand, as law enforcement’s inevitable thirst for information fails to be quenched…

Unfortunately, there is as yet no organized challenge against the aspects of the law which criminalize a wide variety of normal sexual behaviors and virtually any association with sex workers.

Tyranny By Consensus (TW3 #51)

A leading adult film producer has launched a lawsuit against Los Angeles County over a…measure requiring porn actors to wear condoms, saying the law infringes on first amendment rights and was driving the industry out of Southern California.  Vivid Entertainment, which was joined in the lawsuit by porn stars Kayden Kross and Logan Pierce, claims the mandate was both an unconstitutional prior restraint on freedom of expression and a financial burden that studios could not bear…lead plaintiffs’ attorney Paul Cambria said…it was not economically feasible to digitally remove the condoms in post-production because the studios were competing with rivals elsewhere who had no such restrictions.

It’s interesting that the lawsuit doesn’t bring up the very real physical harm condoms can inflict on actresses under porn-filming conditions.

The Course of a Disease (TW3 #52)

Those who wish to inflict the Swedish model on England and Wales have set up a fake “consultation” on the matter which is designed to trick the unwary into providing them ammunition via leading questions and outright lies about decriminalization.  The survey is referred to as a “call for evidence”, but as Laura Agustín points out this is “a misnomer as they are just asking for opinions and feelings – no evidence at all.”  Go ahead and respond to the survey (it’s fairly short), but follow Aspasia’s example by phrasing your answers carefully, since most are of the “have you stopped beating your wife?” variety.  The deadline is February 4^th at 16:00 GMT.

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Hollow Claims

Full bottles are quiet; it’s the empty ones that make noise. - Chinese proverb

Just over a month ago, the European Women’s Lobby issued another of its moronic “demands” that the European union impose the Swedish model on all member governments, claiming that prostitution can be reduced by doing so; this ludicrous cry for attention rests on a mountain of assumptions, every one of them wrong.  It assumes that the European Union has such a power; that the Swedish model works as claimed; that laws can control human nature; that prohibition reduces use of the prohibited thing; that “violence” means “anything I don’t like”; that all whores are pathetic victims; that all women are magically connected together like the tentacles of some immense hyperspatial entity; that EWL has the right to determine morality for all women or all of Europe; and that anyone whose mind is not crippled by neofeminism or whose morality is not crippled by political ambition thinks of EWL and its inane declarations as anything other than caricatures.  Those who wish to use the government to violently suppress consensual sex acts they don’t like are atavisms, throwbacks to our tribal past who must eventually be buried along with those who once urged pogroms against racial or religious minorities.

Bizarrely, these evil women cast their bigotry as “progressive”, largely ignoring the fact that humanity as a whole is slowly losing its taste for using violence to suppress the sexuality of individuals (probably because we no longer live in small groups purely dependent upon sheer numbers for survival).  I say “largely” instead of “completely” because the very fact that they pretend sex work is “violence against women” rather than mere “immorality” demonstrates that, at least on some level, they recognize that the majority of Western society no longer approves of suppressing non-violent behavior with violence. Though they are fond of claiming that sex workers who want rights rather than “rescue” are “unrepresentative”, this is mere projection on their part; in truth it is they who are unrepresentative of those for whom they presume to speak, and their apparently-influential movement is in actuality nothing but a huge, hollow head, impressing the gullible with its apparent size but lacking any substance whatsoever.

All over the world, advocates for health and human rights are calling for decriminalization; all over the world, sex workers ourselves are demanding it.  “Sex trafficking” hysteria has galvanized political resistance to these demands, but this is only a temporary setback which will be reversed as soon as the moral panic implodes.  And though yellow press organizations like the BBC are happy to pretend that the neofeminists’ papier-mâché construction is both sound and solid, publications which cater to those unimpressed by hype are considerably more skeptical.  Consider these three articles which appeared in Neue Zürcher Zeitung (German-speaking Europe’s equivalent to the Wall Street Journal)* the day after the BBC ran its story on the EWL’s silly screed; they paint a very different picture from that the EWL and BBC want you to believe.

…After a period of mostly liberal handling…since the late 1990s European discourse about prostitution is increasingly characterized by the restrictive, abolitionist-colored Swedish model, which feminists of all stripes (including the European Women’s Lobby)…proclaim as the only proper treatment for commercial sex…as in the 19^th century, [self-described] “abolitionists” claim that sex workers should be released from their “enslavement”…and Sweden typifies this with its stance that first, prostitution equals violence against women; second, that there are no voluntary, self-determined prostitutes; and third, that it is the clients who are to be punished…Sweden’s stated long-term goal is to totally abolish prostitution, but a look at history shows that such an undertaking has never succeeded anywhere; prostitution flourishes even in those countries where it is completely forbidden, such as in the Arab world…

The article goes on to compare Germany’s loose legalization with the stricter regimes in Austria and the Netherlands and the persecutory system in France, and concludes that the Germans are moving in the right direction (i.e. decriminalization), that strict legalization regimes create “chaos” by making it too difficult for most whores to work legally, and that women forced by restrictive laws to work illegally are “particularly vulnerable when it comes to exploitation, isolation and violence.”

The second article goes even farther, describing prohibitionist claims as “myths and fairy tales”:

No country is able to provide accurate statistical information on the number and origins of all prostitutes or about the nature or place of their work.  It is an extremely diverse industry, ranging from streetwalkers to escorts to dominatrices to ladies who provide sexual services to the disabled.  The latter type meets with the greatest public acceptance and is even exempt from some local prostitution regulations…but it never fails that discussion about prostitution usually involves only the most visible workers in the low-price segment…The German Confederation of Counseling Services for Sex Workers (BUFAS)…warns that the numbers being bandied about in Europe…are usually extrapolated in a fictitious and adventurous way.  ”Virtually every time we searched for the source of these figures,” said Holger Rettig from Adult Business Association, “we ran into a bubble”…many long-circulated myths and stories persist, and a study by Christiane Howe of the Technical University of Berlin demonstrates that the majority of negative comments about prostitution are based on hearsay and not on the commenter’s own experience.

The third article expands on the statement that public conversation about prostitution is nearly always restricted to streetwalker stereotypes:

If prostitution is discussed in print or digital media, there will never be a matching photograph but rather one showing the same thing…high heels and lots and lots of flesh…all over Switzerland for the past three years, the same type of photos was always shown:  headless women, lit from behind and photographed from below, and preferably showing a lot of skin.  But why this monotony, why the cementing of a cliché in almost all media?  Nicole Aeby…working for Zurich’s Office for Gender Equality…analyzed the pictures and presented her findings…at a public meeting in the Town Hall…Aeby says that this reduced and voyeuristic view reinforces and cements the prejudices of some readers and probably some editors…

In the US and UK, politicians consider it part of their job to reinforce old stereotypes about whores and invent new ones, and major newspapers assiduously devote themselves to spreading a moral panic; in Switzerland, the government wants to fight whore stigma and major newspapers make a point of deconstructing the same moral panic.  And while some governments demand their people bow down and worship the neofeminists’ ridiculous pasteboard idol, wiser heads are working to set it on fire.

*I am indebted to regular reader Frans van Rossum for calling these to my attention, and to Google for closing the numerous gaps in my execrable German.

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Epiphany

The richest gifts we can bestow are the least marketable. - Henry D. Thoreau

January 6^th means many different things to different people in different parts of the world.  In Western Christian tradition it is the Epiphany, the day on which the Magi are supposed to have brought gifts to the infant Jesus; because of this Christmas gift-giving was shifted to this date in the Dark Ages and remained so until the Reformation, when it shifted back to Christmas in all but the most staunchly Catholic countries (namely Spain and Italy).  As I explained in my first column for the holiday, children in Spanish-speaking countries still receive their gifts from Los Tres Reyes, for whom they leave out their shoes on Twelfth Night.  Italian children also found their gifts this morning, but there the traditional gift-giver is a witch named Befana, a modern form of the Roman goddess Strenia (who in Greece was known as Hecate).

In French tradition, today is the beginning of the carnival season, which extends until Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras), the day before Ash Wednesday; in New Orleans it is the day we traditionally take down our Christmas trees and start eating king cake (though I’ve noticed some creep back toward New Year’s Day among the hasty).  Due to an early paschal full moon, Mardi Gras will fall quite early this year, on February 12^th; carnival is thus barely over a month long and the celebrations will therefore be relatively concentrated.

In Russia, today is Christmas Eve because the Russian Orthodox Church still uses the Julian calendar with its extra leap day in three out of four centenary years.  Their traditional gift-giver is Grandfather Frost (usually accompanied by his granddaughter, the Snow Maiden); during communist rule he began to bring gifts on (Gregorian) New Year’s Eve because the celebration of Christmas (on any date) was strongly discouraged, but since the fall of the Soviet Union the gifting date seems to vary by region or even by family, ranging from December 25^th all the way to January 7^th.  Perhaps in a generation or so it will settle down to a consensus, but given the circumstances it isn’t surprising things are in flux right now.

So, to my Italian readers, Buona Epifania!  To my Spanish-speaking readers, Feliz Día de Los Reyes! To my Ethiopian readers, Melkam Gena!  And to my Russian readers, S Roždestvom!

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My Favorite Christmas Things

Have a holly jolly Christmas,
It’s the best time of the year.
I don’t know if there’ll be snow,
But have a cup of cheer.  -  Johnny Marks

Since y’all seemed to enjoy my Halloween favorites column, I thought a companion piece for Christmas would be in order.  Though it’s only my second favorite holiday, it’s my husband’s favorite and since it is the world’s most popular celebration the activities are extended for a much longer time and there’s a lot more “stuff” to choose from for this list.  For me, Halloween and Christmas are the two high points of a long festive season which begins with the autumnal equinox and ends with Mardi Gras, with a sort of encore at Easter.  But the stretch of time between Halloween and Christmas Eve, by virtue of being bookended by my two favorite days in all the year, is the best.

My Favorite Christmas Songs

Some people love Christmas music, and some hate it; I react to it as I react to nearly any music, loving some and hating some and tolerating the rest.  I don’t like sappy or overly sentimental songs, nor those in the “wink wink, nudge nudge” school such as “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”; bad and/or forced rhyming irritates me in any song, which is why I have a strong aversion for “Winter Wonderland” (bluebird/new bird and snowman/“No, man”; really?) And the only Beach Boys song I hate more than the grating “Little Saint Nick” is the truly execrable “Kokomo”.  Among traditional Christmas carols my favorites are those in minor keys:  “God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen” and “Carol of the Bells”  are especial favorites, as is the haunting “Veni, Veni”, (performed here in both English and the original Latin by one of my favorite artists, Enya).  Of modern Christmas songs, my hands-down favorite is “Holly Jolly Christmas” performed by the inimitable Burl Ives:

My Favorite Christmas Shows

The video above contains clips from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, one of the earliest Christmas specials from the “Golden Age” of such presentations in the 1960s and ‘70s.  It’s among my favorites, though it’s exceeded in my estimation by “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” from the same producers, an origin story which depicts the young Santa Claus as a libertarian who holds that people have the right and duty to disobey stupid laws:

But of all the stand-alone shows and special episodes of series, my absolute favorite has to be “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, as those of you who remember “My Favorite Short Films” had probably already guessed.  Chuck Jones was better at translating Dr. Seuss’ bizarre whimsy into animation than any other director, the choices of Boris Karloff as narrator and Thurl Ravenscroft  as singer of the Grinch song were nothing short of inspired, and Seuss’ words, silly as they are, presented the meaning and moral of the story without spelling it out in words of one syllable.

My Favorite Christmas Movies

There are probably hundreds of Christmas movies, a number of which are regarded as classics.  But while I do enjoy It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34^th Street, there are only two without which my holiday season would be incomplete.  One of these, which we watch every Christmas Eve, is the Patrick Stewart version of A Christmas Carol; though it does have a few flaws it’s the only version of the story in which I can see Scrooge as a completely real person, and his conversion as both natural and believable.  The other is A Christmas Story, which I had never even heard of before I met my husband.  It’s one of his favorites and soon became one of mine; in fact, it’s usually the film which kicks off our Yuletide viewing season.  The plot is very simple: a young boy in the late 1930s schemes to get a BB gun for Christmas.  But that brief description does the film absolutely no justice; in fact, no description I could write could do so.  Do yourself a favor:  just see it.  Trust me.

My Yuletide Schedule

Regular readers know that I am a creature of habit, and like to do things on a very regular schedule (as long as I get to set that schedule myself).  I generally start thinking about Christmas presents in June or July, keeping my eyes open for fun little “stocking stuffers” and even for full presents; this year my husband found the perfect gift for one of our friends way back in March, and it sat in my secret gift stash until I wrapped it a few weeks ago.  Once Halloween is over the stores all put up their Christmas displays these days, completely ignoring Thanksgiving; I refuse to acknowledge this premature celebration, beginning only on the traditional American date, the day after Thanksgiving.  That’s the date on which we tromp off into the forest, find a suitable tree, and bring it home to decorate.  That day or the next we do our Christmas cards and I prepare soup stock:

Stock:  4 quarts (liters) water; 10 chicken bouillon cubes; ½ teaspoon (2.5 ml) each salt and pepper; ¼ teaspoon (1.25 ml) each thyme, sage and MSG; 1 teaspoon (5 ml) each tarragon, paprika and granulated garlic.  Combine all ingredients in large stock pot, add turkey carcass (after removing as much remaining meat as you can) plus neck and giblets.  Bring to boil over medium heat, then reduce heat and simmer until all the meat has fallen from the bones, stirring occasionally and pulling the bones out as they become clean (you’ll probably have to pick bits of meat from them by hand as you go).  Once all the bones are out remove from heat, allow stock to cool and ladle it into quart (liter)-sized containers.  If using glass jars, make sure you leave expansion space before freezing or else they will break.  It takes a few days for one of these to thaw in the refrigerator, a few hours at room temperature.

Soup:  1 jar stock; 2 quarts (liters) water; 5 chicken bouillon cubes; ¼ teaspoon (1.25 ml) each salt & pepper; ¹/₈  teaspoon (0.625 ml) each thyme, sage & MSG; ½ teaspoon (2.5 ml) each tarragon, paprika & granulated garlic.  Combine all ingredients in large stock pot, bring to boil over medium-high heat, then add 2 cups (500 ml) of egg noodles, reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes.

I of course do this again on Boxing Day with the remains of the Christmas turkey; on New Years’ Day we generally have ham (saving the bone for split pea soup later in the week).  All of the feasts are accompanied by traditional side dishes and homemade bread, with seasonal desserts (and yes, I render my own pumpkin from the Halloween jack-o-lantern and make my own mince meat, too).  It’s a lot of work for one woman, but I take housewifery as seriously as I took harlotry.  Christmas Eve and New Years’ Eve meals vary, but the days after those feasts are always leftovers.  Sometimes we open one present each on Christmas Eve, but that varies; one thing that doesn’t is that the tree stands until King Day, when we have our first king cake of the season.

My Favorite Christmas Foods

Beside the stuffed turkey, candied yams, corn pudding, mince meat pie and plum pudding of the Christmas dinner, the season is full of delicious foods.  Just after Thanksgiving I make two fruitcakes so they’ll have time to age, and during Yuletide I generally prepare panettone several times (it’s an Italian brioche flavored with orange and nutmeg, which my husband loves); then in the week before the holiday I make cookies, fudge and other treats so as to make up tins for all the people we regularly do business with.  But none of these are my favorites, though I do enjoy all of them; of all the foods usually associated with the season I would have to say my own favorites are spiced Christmas teas, gingerbread (I sometimes make a house), fruit and chocolate combinations, those Danish butter cookies that come in tins and egg nog, especially that made by our local dairy.

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The Feast of Stephen

Christmas comes only once a year, and in my opinion it seems a bit rude to rush a guest out practically as soon as he arrives.  -  Maggie McNeill

As I explained in yesterday’s column, Christmas was a twelve-day festival from the very beginning; the ancient Sumerians who originated the holiday had a duodecimal number system and attached mystic significance to the number twelve, which is more easily and conveniently subdivided than ten.  And though the holiday became much shorter among the Greeks and Romans, the traditional twelve-day length survived in the winter celebrations of the peoples of northern Europe and became part of Christmas when the Germanic Yule was absorbed into it during the period of Christianization.  Originally, there were different traditional activities for each day of the festival, leading up to Twelfth Night when Christmas gave way to Carnival.  And though some heavily-Celtic parts of the British Isles still celebrate pre-Christian traditions (Wren Day or Mummers’ Day) on the second day of Christmas, in most places it is Boxing Day or St. Stephen’s Day, and was strongly associated with charity (which is why Good King Wenceslas was described as helping the poor wood-gatherer on this day).  It was also a time for visiting friends, or just relaxing from the hustle and bustle of Christmas Day.

In recent years, however, it’s become the Commonwealth equivalent of the American “Black Friday”, a day on which retailers slash prices so as to get rid of overstock.  And now that more Americans are staying away from “Black Friday” stupidity (this year saw an especially sharp decline), how much longer can it possibly be before US merchants add Boxing Day sales as well?  My advice to all of you is to stay home and enjoy your feast leftovers, go visiting friends, or do the old-fashioned thing and give to some worthy charity if you haven’t already this season.  There will be other sales, and why wait in long lines to return unwanted gifts when you can do it more quickly after New Years’ Day?  As I wrote last year, it’s silly to cut the holiday short; even if you have to return to work today, you can certainly be at least as festive for the next eleven days as you’ve been for the past month.

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The First Christmas

Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share.  -  Lee Mendelson, “Christmas Time is Here”

As I said yesterday, I suspect the festival we now know as Christmas began about 3900 BCE, when the climate abruptly cooled and dried all over the world.  For about 2000 years before that, the climate had been wet and warm enough for agriculture to succeed even in areas which are arid in modern times, and with little irrigation or centralized planning.  But once the long drought set in (around the same time copper started to replace stone as the favored tool material), everyone started to crowd into the comparatively small areas of the river valleys: scattered villages gave way to large cities, wars were fought over the limited arable land, and hierarchical social structures appeared in order to keep track of which land belonged to whom and what would happen to it when he died.  Because warfare and rigid hierarchies appeal more to the male mind societies became more patriarchal, and because heredity was now important sex laws and taboos started to appear.  Now that agriculture was a bit trickier calendars were needed so people would know the best times to plant and to reap, and rituals were developed to appease the gods so as to ensure bountiful harvests.

By the late 4^th millennium BCE, the most important of these rites was the one which commemorated the creation of the world by the sky-god Anu after his victory over the forces of chaos; the Babylonians assigned this role to their god Marduk, and personified chaos as the dragon Tiamat.  The battle was believed to have lasted for 12 days, so the festival (which the Babylonians called Zagmuk) did as well, and though it occurred at the end of winter (the two weeks before the vernal equinox) rather than at the beginning, this was the origin of our 12 days of Christmas.  As in many later cultures, the time between the end of the old year and the beginning of the new was a time of chaos, and the rituals were thought to help Marduk beat back Tiamat for another year.  The priests and nobles enacted a pageant (the ancestor of our Christmas pantomime) in which the king played Marduk, and he was supposed to be sacrificed so as to join the god in the underworld and fight by his side.  But because it was impractical (not to mention counterproductive) to have a new king every year, what actually happened was this:  on the first day of Zagmuk, the king abdicated his power and a condemned criminal was invested as king.  He was feted and given homage, and played the part of Marduk in the early part of the festival; he was then sacrificed and the true king resumed his station, receiving the power to rule by consummating a ritual marriage with the entu (high priestess of Ishtar).  To provide a mystical balance, another prisoner was chosen at the same time as the temporary king; instead of being sacrificed, he was set free in order to bear the sins of the nation away with him (a similar ritual was later practiced by the Hebrews using goats).  And while the ruling classes enacted all this, the common people helped by burning effigies of Tiamat in bonfires.

Sumer was the Great Mother of Western civilization, and her culture infused all which came after it.  The Zagmuk festival spread to all parts of the Near East, and though it changed as it spread its influence can be clearly seen.  The dedication of a human sacrifice to represent the death of the god, followed immediately by the investiture of another person as the reborn god, was adopted by the Ancient Greeks as part of their primitive festival of Lenaea.  And while the human sacrifice eventually vanished in a literal sense from the Babylonian festival (later called Akitu), it survived in symbolic form; during the twelve days of the festival the social order was reversed, with masters waiting upon slaves and one slave chosen to be the head of the household for the duration, just as a criminal had been made king in earlier times (but without the unpleasant conclusion).  And after the battle-pageant the common people thronged in the street, rejoicing in the victory of their god with shouted invocations and joyful songs.  The festival was extremely popular, and survived conquest after conquest for millennia; the Kassites, Elamites, Assyrians, Chaldeans, Persians and Seleucids each adopted it in turn.  By late classical times many of its elements (including the social reversal and the singing in the streets) had entered the Greek Kronia, descendant of Lenaea and ancestor of the Roman Saturnalia; the latter adopted its practices wholesale in 217 BCE, at the same time (and as part of the same Sibylline reform) as the Venus Erycina  was brought to Rome.

Six thousand years ago the climate shifted, driving our ancestors from a pleasant Eden where food was plentiful into a harsher world where winter was a time of crisis.  And though the elaborate ritual devised by the ancient Mesopotamians to drive back the chaos is no longer solemn or bloody, many of its elements – feasting, mumming and masking, pantomime, bonfires, caroling and even the twelve-day duration – became traditional parts of our winter holiday season, and have endured even to the present day.  From the unnamed festival of ancient Uruk to Zagmuk to Lenaea and Akitu, then via Kronia to Saturnalia to Sol Invictus, and finally to Christmas and Carnival, there runs one long, unbroken cord which none who opposed it, whether king, priest or ideologue, has ever been able to sever.

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The Winter Solstice

It was beginning winter,
An in-between time,
The landscape still partly brown:
The bones of weeds kept swinging in the wind,
Above the blue snow.  -  Theodore Roethke, “The Lost Son”

The sun reached its southernmost point (at the Tropic of Capricorn) at 11:12 GMT today, and since that was only an hour later than my blog usually posts I couldn’t resist synchronizing the events so that this appeared at the exact moment of the solstice.  Today is the first day of astronomical winter in the Northern Hemisphere and the first day of summer in the Southern; it’s the day pagans call Yule, the defining event for which the various winter holidays are celebrated and thus the real “reason for the season” despite the contradictory claims of Christians.  If you’re wondering why Christmas doesn’t fall exactly on the solstice any more you may be interested in reading my first Christmas column, which also explains the very dark origins of the celebration and some of the ways we still observe it (teaser:  some of you may feel the subject matter is more appropriate to Halloween).  Nor is that essay all I’ve written on the subject:  so extensive is the lore around Yuletide that I’ve devoted quite a number of posts to it, many of which are listed and linked in my column for one year ago today.

I wish for my readers health, happiness and prosperity in this most joyous season and throughout the coming solar year.  Blessed Be!

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