A tree isn’t a mountain, but yeah.

You may not think that is courage – but it is.

When people find out my past- On my own young, ex-sex workers, all that, they expect a sob story.

Well I have been reading your comments for quite a long time and I can tell you that I deeply admire your courage. I’ve recently become aware (heh, yeah cuz I’m a dumb ass) that moral courage is a lot harder and lot more rare than physical courage. I saw a lot of very bad things in Afghanistan and Iraq and I thought I was a really strong guy for coming through them well adjusted.

Your experiences, along with Maggie’s – have taught me that my experiences are NOTHING. I always had people who supported me and I never had to once go through any kind of shit alone. In fact, when I look back at my life and the personal issues I faced that may have been semi-similar to yours and Maggie’s – I’m not real happy with the moral courage I displayed in some cases.

You have no idea what an “epiphany” this has been for me. Although I’ve always felt that women were superior to men because they were just better humans – and had a capacity for goodness that men lacked …

I’ve still always felt that women were spared the really HARD things – because those were left for men to deal with. I was wrong about that though – because, as a man (and a big one) – if someone “slights” me or someone I love, I have a physical “option” that I can resort to in order to make myself feel better. When 911 happened – I was pissed off beyond belief. Getting up off the floor and lifting my chin and continuing with life wasn’t an option for me. I wanted to kill terrorists – many of them. And there were other guys like me who wanted to do likewise. Even though the odds were always in our favor – we didn’t give a shit – we’d have faced those guys hand-to-hand if need be and we never hid behind a woman or child like they did.

But none of that is real courage. Real courage, is like what Maggie did after she was raped by cops – when the only thing she could do was get up off the floor – lift her chin – and move on with life without allowing those cops to “win” by getting her to quit on the game – or changing the way she played it.

And I have seen a lot of that kind of courage in your comments too there, Chick.

This kind of “syndrome” leads to destructive behavior and decisions.

Like with my extended family and all their little Driskill Mountain “tragedies” like my minister cousin cheating on his wife (one time) or my niece getting pregnant in her senior year of high school and everything just turns into one great big “boo hooo” fest. They tend to feed on the “tragedy” until a point just shy of going over the cliff of irreparable harm. And my family is pretty sane – I’ve seen many others turn little issues into permanent disasters.

You know what I’m talking about too Maggie – with your Mom.

A young, dead Marine who has to be pulled off a field in pieces – that’s a tragedy. A young kid laying dead in a morgue who has to be identified from tattoos because the auto accident completely fucked his face is a tragedy. A good kid who wipes out and dies on a motorcycle and leaves five year old twin baby girls behind to grow up without a father is a tragedy.

I had an Admiral, who was a former TopGun instructor tell me once … “As long as you keep the bad guy on your nose – you’re winning, anywhere else – and you are losing the dogfight”. Life is one, big long dogfight – but unlike a dogfight – you get shot, and you have to get right back into it and keep fighting. Soooo – the only time you’re “losing” is when you are sitting in worthless heap of tears lamenting your situation.