We cannot even reproduce our thoughts entirely in words. - Friedrich Nietzsche
My column of one year ago today, “Terminology”, was a glossary of terms used by whores and clients; many of them come from the escort review sites which have become very popular on the internet in the past decade. Today I’d like to look at a few more such terms, including some that I’ve only learned since my first column on the subject; many of these are acronyms used by internet “hobbyists” in reviews, so I simply never encountered them until I started reading more about review sites and corresponding with internet independents.
BCD: Behind Closed Doors. This refers to the portion of a date which is spent in the bedroom, i.e. the sexual portion of a session. It is thus used as a collective reference to sex acts (“BCD activities”) or by girls referring to special “meet over coffee” type deals (“no BCD time”).
BFE: Boy Friend Experience. It is obviously built on the pattern of “Girl Friend Experience”, which I defined in my previous column; a client might be described as a “BFE” if he’s very nice and easy to deal with, avoids being pushy or demanding, doesn’t haggle and tries to make the date pleasant for the escort by booking multiple hours, taking her to dinner and/or giving her a gift, carrying on an interesting conversation, etc.
CIM: Cum In Mouth. The use of “cum” to mean “semen” is an American vulgarism dating to the 1920s, and the extension of the vulgar spelling to the verb “come” (which has been colloquially used to mean “have an orgasm” since at least the late Middle Ages, just as the equivalent verb is used in other European languages) is more recent still, dating to perhaps the 1960s. I don’t think I need to tell any female reader how much ejaculating into a woman’s mouth excites most men, but in the post-HIV world very few whores would allow this. Unfortunately, as I discussed in my column of February 28th,
…in the last decade as escort review sites became steadily more common, many escorts wanted something which would set them apart from the competition. But the trend really took off just over two years ago when the economy went belly-up; a lot of part-timers lost their regular jobs and therefore needed to bring in more money from hooking, and a lot of amateurs who had never before directly asked for cash flooded into Craigslist and Backpage. The amateurs had no sense of appropriate professional conduct and the part-timers were desperate to make up the difference from their lost jobs, and so they started to offer things which, while not extremely dangerous like unprotected intercourse, were nonetheless more personal and “edgy” than what had been the norm even as recently as 2007. And once that happened even many full-time professional escorts were forced to change their policies in order to remain competitive.
Though most escorts who allow this still spit or dribble afterward, there are some who offer “BBBJTCNQNS”, which means “bare back blow job to completion, no quittin’, no spittin’”, which I personally consider most unwise.
DFK: Deep French Kissing. Yes, we didn’t used to allow kissing, either; see the entry for CIM above.
DNS: Do Not See. Most often used in the formulation “DNS List”, a personal list of men an escort refuses to see because of personal experience, warnings from other girls or statements the listee has made on review boards: “Any man with an attitude like that goes straight onto my DNS list.”
FIV: Fingers In Vagina, an activity which I’m far from alone in disliking intensely, though some girls do allow it.
LEO: Law Enforcement Officer, i.e. a vice pig. Sometimes “Uncle Leo”.
Levels (of massage): A Level 1 (L1) massage is massage with a “happy ending” (i.e. hand job). Level 2 (L2) massage includes a blow job, and Level 3 (L3) is full service.
Lurker: A “hobbyist” who reads escort boards, but does not generally post on them. Most of these are the good sort of hobbyists, unlike the bad ones who use their experience and that of others to learn how to cheat, manipulate and intimidate inexperienced escorts.
Manmades: Augmented tits, often abbreviated MMs: “Maggie has a spectacular set of manmades”.
NBA: No Blacks Allowed. Escorts with NBA policies will not see black clients for reasons I already discussed at length in my column for September 18th of last year.
NCNS: No Call, No Show. A client who neither showed for his appointment nor called to cancel; a deadbeat.
Nuru massage: This is not “massage” in the normal sense, but rather consists of the masseuse erotically sliding her naked body up and down against that of her client with the assistance of nuru gel, an odorless, tasteless, colorless and extremely slippery gel made from nori seaweed. The gel does not dry up and so must be washed off with soap and water; nuru massage thus always ends with a bath or shower. Nuru massage originated in Japanese bathhouses, or “soaplands”.
Outing: Publicizing the real name of a client or escort, usually to that person’s family; it is considered one of the most reprehensible actions of which someone is capable and will usually result in the total ostracism of the offender.
Spinner: A very thin, petite escort, so called because of the joke that a man can “pick her up and spin her around” while she’s doing cowgirl.
Time waster: A man who has no real intention of paying for an appointment. Some of them are lonely and just looking for conversation, and others might like to see a girl but are too nervous or frightened to follow through, but most are just cheapskates trying to get free wanking material.
TOFTT: Take One For The Team. This refers to a hobbyist taking the risk of seeing an unreviewed girl in order to report back to his friends about her.
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary. This phrase, borrowed from American automobile advertising, refers to an escort whose performance varies considerably from client to client depending on how she reacts to each individual.